I had ZERO feelings of guilt when I became an "apostate". I actually like a door had opened up and the light of heaven shined through and showed me the truth. I don't feel like I'm in outer darkness at all (except maybe to my Mo framily). I wish I could share with them the feelings of enlightenment and clarity that overcame me when I finally understood what a travesty most of this was. I still believe the church is sensible in many things, but there's just too much bullcrap to stay in it. I'm always open to evidence, but there's just too much against it.

I'm very sad that the Mormons view me in such a bad light. I think even if meet again in an afterlife, they may want me to stay in a sort of outer darkness from them... who knows.

I got this from BYU's Encyclopedia of Mormonism, which is ironically modeled after Wikipedia:

http://eom.byu.edu/index.php/Apostate

It makes me sad and angry to think that they think I am a "lost sheep" and that I act contrary to "light and knowledge". I am only interested in light and knowledge and keep finding more of it the more I read about Mormon history, other religions, and the real world around me including science.

I think anyone interested in learning and caring about their friends and family can't possibly be in outer darkness.

Imagine if when you die you go to heaven and it is full of the maybe 10 million mormons who actually lived a neutered existence and made it in.

You will have to interact with these people forever and ever and ever.

This is HELL to me. I could not fathom a worse existence. It would be worse than living in North Korea.

FOREVER!

You ain't missin' a thing.

I agree. One man's heaven is another's hell. I can't imagine walking (or flying?) around in Mormon heaven thinking it's great. In fact, I don't think any two Mormons have the exact same vision of heaven.

I never think of or refer to myself as "apostate". I feel like there is as assumption or connotation in the word that an apostate knows or believes that the church is "true" but has decided to turn away from it and is simply lying about his belief.

Simply discovering that one had been misinformed; truly coming to the conclusion that the church is actually just a lie is not -- at least in my estimation -- apostasy. It is making an informed decision, and there is simply no reason to feel anything but liberated in that case.

Accepting the name apostate gives believers a reason to run with their assumption that you "know better" but choose to sin. We (whatever you want to call us instead) know better than to see the church as anything but a man-made organization with which we have chosen not to affiliate.

I've read MANY stories here of apostates feeling guilty.

Mostly RMs feeling bad for having lured people into the church.

We were all taught that to leave the church was the utmost sin. Even considering the evidence before us raises waves of guilt, just as all those years of brainwashing and programming was designed to do.

Here is something that helped me a little- To turn away from falsehoods is called repentance. To Apostatize from a false church therefore, to repent of the sin of following false prophets.

I think before guilt they experience fear...

I felt a burden lifted. The guilt coming from the long list of sins the church badgers the members about was gone.

Same with the shame! A lot of feelings that I felt guilty about suddenly seemed normal and as natural as wanting to drink water or take a walk in the park. After going through with them, I felt more validated as a person than Mormonism ever made me feel like.

There is no reason why it should.

Joseph Smith was a charlatan and the Book of Mormon is a provable fraud.
DNA clearly shows that the ancestors of the American Indians are NOT of Semitic descend.

Members who leave need to stop labeling themselves as apostates.
Instead, they are enlightened people who see through the fraud.

If I ever felt a shred of guilt over my disbelief & apostasy, it was only because I doubted myself, was afraid of being wrong, & afraid of being shamed & punished if found out.

Leaving did worry me. What if I'm wrong? What if I go to hell for leaving? Shouldn't I hedge my bet and join another religion?

Then, after almost a decade of learning to trust myself, I am able to be a lot more assertive in my environment. If something in my personal life, professional life, or social life is amiss, I am quicker to speak up.

Guilty about what? Nope. No guilt.

"Apostle" comes from the same root - one who travels away to testify. So "apostate" is a correct description of what we have done - moved away from LDS Inc. I have no problem with the title.

When I was really looking into and studying the history and doctrine of tscc, I felt completely lost and confused due to cog dis, afraid of being rejected by family/friends in the church, and almost wished I could have stayed ignorant. I wasn't eating properly and was noticeably more depressed. A huge burden, needless to say.

Once I decided I had done enough studying to get a basic grasp of the whole picture and finally concluded that tscc was false and built on lies, all of that disappeared. No guilt of being an "apostate", no fear of being wrong (and if I am, God has a lot of explaining to do!), nothing. Since then, I've felt happier, clearer in mind, and closer to God (what/whoever God is, not the Mormon God) than I ever have in my life.

I was honestly surprised by this. I was half-expecting guilt, darkness, and general agony for the rest of my life. Once you really let go, I suppose there's really no reason to feel guilt! Why should I feel guilty for removing a mental/spiritual tumor?

Thank you, you've expressed exactly how I've felt.

I had a knee jerk reaction of fear to sending in my letter, soon after I felt great, though.

1. My pangs of guilt are only for leading my family into moism.
2. Leaving, I feel more like Pilgrim in Pilgrim's Progress with the load taken off my back. For a long time I kept my mouth shut. Eons. What would happen to our kids at BYU or BYU-I? I would lose the ability to go the their weddings. But one must live with himself and relief was spelled r-e-s-i-g-n from the cult.

1) Guilt is a prime motivator of religions, and LDS, Inc. has it down to a since. They use guilt to get people to do all sorts of things, like paying tithing to give up their Saturday morning to help someone move.

2) Parents use guilt a lot, and especially on teenagers when physical coercion becomes more difficult. A lot of people feel guilty for disappointing their families even when they know leaving is the only logical choice.

3) If you were raised in the church, you were taught to stick to the church. It's easy to feel guilty for things that were ingrained in your impressionable brain, even when your adult brain tells you that it is nonsense to feel that way.

Letting go of the guilt has been one of the most beautiful parts of the difficult process of disentangling my mind body and heart from TSCC.

Social science has shown that the most important factor in finding love and acceptance, is believing you are worthy of love and acceptance. And people wonder why the antidepressant use in utah is so high.