I was a convert for about a year and have started REALLY REALLY missing the church lately and wanting it back. :( PLEASE TALK ME OUT OF IT AND GIVE ME REASONS WHY I SHOULDN'T AND WHY IT IS NOT TRUE.

I cannot get sucked bad into this right now! I just went through a bad breakup and depression, and have been getting confused lately and wanting to go back and find "the truth" there again. I'm an intelligent person with two graduate degrees, working on my doctorate now...so I'm not sure WHY I am so drawn to this weirdo cult every time I go through something negative emotionally, but I am. :( I REALLY miss it.

I really need help! Things like wine and coffee, etc., don't help me not do it. I do drink, I'm a caffeine fiend, I'm sexually active, but those things can easily be swept away into the depths of my psyche if I believe I'm doing the "right" thing. HELP. Please, before I start going back to church again!

P.S. That last part wasn't overly coherent, but what I meant was that things like "you can drink all the beer you want" or "you can be an adult and have sex anytime you want" don't really help me. Intellectual, rational reasons tend to help me a lot more, because it's way too easy for me to sweep my own desires under the rug in favor of being pseudo-"moral" (which I realize is ridiculous) when I'm emotional about the church.

Also, "back," not "bad." Jeez.

It'll remind you vividly why it's BS.
I can't wait to hurry out the door after an hour of church.
Once you've spotted them in the first place, the grossly false premises and fallacious logic are glaring. You'll want to shake your head, maybe even facepalm.

What you really want right now is comfort.

There are plenty of sane, healthy religions out there that weren't started by a 30 year old man that married 14 year olds. Go to a more liberal protestant church, or a Unitarian church.

I second this. If you want a fix, if you need church, go shopping for one. There are plenty that are not insane.

I agree with amos. Go back. Go back knowing its all based on BS. See how long you last.

Test your integrity. Know you can fall back on yourself in difficult times and not a soothe-saying cult. Know you are falling for bait. Know all you are doing is craving support, and know there are a billion other groups to join besides a cult.

Don't do it, please. It will wreck your mental & intellectual health if you do because it's a fraud.

I left 12 1/2 years ago, & there were points where I thought about going back because I wanted my TBM family to accept me. Except, then I realized that they didn't accept me even when I was in the cult, so why would they start now, if I went back?

You are a person of worth. Your ideas, opinions, & values matter. Except the cult tells you that everything you do, say, & think is wrong, simply because they are bigoted & closed minded. So, please, don't go back.

Go back if you enjoyed it. If you go back and see it for what it is, leave. Or you could try going to an UU church instead. You might find that you feel more at peace there without having to put ANYTHING on a shelf



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 06/23/2013 08:27PM by homoerectus.

Listen, Life is tough, life takes courage to keep facing the challenges, but you've come to an understanding about reality that has been hard won. THAT'S RIGHT! HARD WON!

Why give in to the pangs of loneliness when you can get out there and start living, start finding friends & interests and start engaging life with the gift of mental freedom you've been given. Being conned into a cult is bad enough, returning to have cupcakes with the inmates of the assylum while sipping on the special kool-aid is no way to go either.

So get out there! Get living! and embrace the changes that come with growth.

Good Luck!

You should NOT be mormon because its doctrine can EASILY be proven false by science, just ask the Smithsonian or National Geographic:

"Archaeologists and other scholars have long probed the hemisphere's past and the society does not know of anything found so far that has substantiated the Book of Mormon." - National Geographic Society, 1988


"The Smithsonian Institution has never used the Book of Mormon in any way as a scientific guide. Smithsonian archaeologists see no direct connection between the archaeology of the New World and the subject matter of the book." -National Museum of Natural History Smithsonian Institution, 1980

Plus, my Wiccan practices and rampant bisexuality-tending-towards-lesbianism might start to be a problem...But I still convince myself every time that I can TOTALLY be with a TBM man and marry him...Jesus Christ. Damn cult knows what it's doing.

If you start up again, you'll just be given another calling and be run around ragged until you are frustrated and leave again. You will also be required to pay tithing which will have a negative outcome on your finances. Frankly, you will just leave again and go through the cycle of depression over and over again.

You should probably talk with a therapist about other issues in your life instead of trying to fit your life into another illogical religion.

Yes, I do go to a therapist...the logical side of my brain knows that it's the depression, it makes no sense, etc. It's just my emotional side that gets drawn to the church...of course I used to attribute this to the church's "truth," but now I know it's just because they did a great job selling fantasy, and fantasy is very attractive to someone who's been through a lot.

It's a common defense mechanism to believe in an all knowing deity that knows you personally. Don't let your mind fall for it.

Get involved in other things that are more productive and interesting than going to church. Join a club, take classes, volunteer someplace, become a dog walker...etc.! Do stuff that is fun and interesting and keep yourself busy. Read a lot. Go more places. Be more social. Find other things I didn't list and make your life so full and interesting you don't have any interest in going back to church.

If you are like me, every time you walk into an LDS Church it reminds me why I left. Instead of feeling nostalgia, I wonder what I ever saw in it.

The longer I'm out, the more bizarre it seems.

Have you spent time here: http://mormonthink.com/

If not, please do. All the information you need is there.

There were no golden plates, no first vision. The BOM is as fictitious as the TV show Bewitched. If you don't twiddle your nose to call the quarters, then you shouldn't take your understanding of Jesus from the BOM or those who believe it to be true.

You sound really anxious about all the self-discovery you have made and may be missing the 'comfort' of being told exactly who and what you are, what you can and can't do, wear, eat/drink or think. But the cult was giving you false comfort, trying to squeeze you into a tight little pigeon hole and saying, "There, now you are a happy female and don't you dare think otherwise, or you'll be destroyed."

Going back would mean giving up a lot more than just caffeine and sex. It would mean giving up the knowledge that you are ok just as you are, coffee drinking, spell casting, bi/lesbian leaning you. Nobody has the right to take you from yourself, and they would do that.

If I have any decent advice to give I'd say to slow down, don't make big changes, breathe a bit and take time to decide what is right for you--the REAL you. Good luck.

Just do the right thing for yourself and your family. What's wrong with you, why ask a bunch of strangers to talk you out of something? If you're so smart you'll make a wise choice, or not. I smell troll.

What's wrong with you that you have to put down strangers? I only mentioned my background/intelligence because I wanted to point out that my problem was not in being unsure about the facts about the church, but in feeling an almost unshakable emotional tie to it, and I was wondering if anyone felt the same thing. No need to be rude.

I hate to be a cynic or a skeptic. Is this post genuine? I have my doubts, sorry.

Yes, it is.

For God's sake, YES. It's true. People post here constantly about many different problems, including much more personal ones than this, and about their guilt and shame over leaving the cult as well as their relief at leaving it. Why am I not allowed to say that, yeah, the cult really did its job on me, and sometimes I still want it even though I know it's not true? If nobody was ever drawn in by the church's lies, this forum wouldn't exist.

It's also pretty presumptuous as well as silly to ask me "what's wrong with me" because of my asking strangers for advice on a forum, when that seems to be what pretty much everyone does here (and I'd point out that you're on the same forum, talking to a host of strangers)...about everything from sexual abuse and marital issues to intellectual problems. It's a support system, and I'd assume that many of the people on this forum are also intelligent, yet they still ask for advice and support. Is something wrong with each and every one of these people in your view? If so, why are you on here?

You've already answered your own question a couple of times now . If you are serious here ( not sure myself ), the name you have used is accurate and you know it ; CULT !

Hey, I totally know what you're going through. I'm sort of there myself, though with much different circumstances. Sometimes I want to go back, just so I don't have to emotionally war with myself about it. But every time I envision going back, the mental image that pops up is of holding out my hands for the handcuffs. I realize I've made so much progress to freedom, and I've grown out of the mental/emotional prison. I wouldn't fit, even if I went back. And looking back... I never did "fit" anyhow though I was the truest of the true. Anyway, don't know if that helps but just so you know you're not alone. Good luck.

I'm not quite sure why it's not considered serious. What about this is doubtful to anyone? I know it IS just an Internet forum, but I have to admit, in spite of myself, I'm sort of hurt and confused. I think a lot of people must feel emotional ties to the church even though they know cognitively it's a bad idea to be involved, and I don't live in a predominantly Mormon area, so there aren't many people to talk to about this specific issue. I'm not really sure why this was doubtful or why I'd still be defending it now if I'd been trolling.

Honestly, I don't really care if this post was fake, I'd rather take the chance. I don't think it is though, because I've felt the same way at times, even though I know TSCC org is a totally false, destructive and damaging organization.

When you're down, you go for what's known. I know it, it's recognizable, the conditions for acceptance are obvious and easily done (or faked) and as long as you give up who you are and are willing to submit to their conditions, the acceptance and love are absolute. Yep, that's the catch, right there.

Who you really are, doesn't matter. Those so called friends, aren't really, they don't really want to know you or care who you are. Only as long as you fit into their little box. Please remember that. The initial "love in," well, it's like a drug, wonderful initially, then the reality sets in and you start to realize the promised joy isn't really there and you're being sucked into a dark, dark hole and you don't know who you are anymore.

Resist, please. Only more pain, horror, self-loathing based on false premises and the need to find yourself all over again lie down the path of returning to TSCC. Don't do it to yourself, you deserve better.

If you need a church, find an Episcopalian congregation somewhere near; I believe there are non-denominational and Unitarian churches that are similar. They are totally accepting and loving of everyone who shows up, by doctrine and in my experience. Initially I stopped by chance and returned a few times when feeling the need for such support and acceptance, although I have realized that I'm really not a church organization person. I will be forever grateful for their acceptance and support when I needed it, perhaps you need it too.

I wish you all the best and hope that you can make it through this difficult time. Please contact me if you need someone to talk to - s.walker29@yahoo.com.

SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE MORE LONELY THAN ANYTHING. You need comfort & validation. Ive been out of the church for about 13yrs.. Rarely ever wanted back. A few times I got the twing, I actually tried: as I walked back, I started bawlling,remembering how bad it was...The condasention,constant demands for my time & energy. AND Perfection. I began to compare it to an abussive relationship. You miss the courting (or honeymoon) phase. You forget about being sucked in...to oppression & subserviance.! Dont go back!

For me it was the ball and chain of Mormonism Slavery. Why home or visit teach, why have a calling, why pay tithing, why go to the temple ------ replace it all by taking a walk each day and appreciating the beautiful world God created for us. If you want to work either get paid or volunteer or get in classes. Christ said ---- the Truth will make you Free ---- that is exactly what leaving the church did for me!

" I'm sexually active"
If you are not married which I assume else why would you write that. Hmm you could go to the bishop and tell him if you keep having sex and he will excommunicate you for it.

Oh and for having sex you will not be allowed to take sacrament in front of everybody for some time. How will your sex partner react when you tell him/her I can't anymore. Hmm will he/she brake up with you over withholding sex from him/her. Do you masturbate? I can just see the bishop all interested in you sex life. How often have you done it? With how many people....

Bishop might schedule you an appointment with the Stake President for your severe sexual sins.

Oh and do you watch porn?

Again, the post was not fake. I really don't understand why it would be? Sometimes I feel like anyone on this site who doesn't just constantly talk 100% about how much the church sucks and how they're so happy they're out is accused of being a troll. Yes, it sucks. Yes, the church hurts and abuses people. Yes, it's not true, and yes, JS was a pedophile. But why would anyone be on here, or struggle to leave at all, if something about it wasn't compelling? If something they said wasn't convincing at least emotionally? There are plenty of converts who struggle to leave just as much as people who were born into it, and many BIC Mormons who take much longer to leave than they should and doubt whether they should or not for a long, long time. Obviously something very real is happening here; obviously they are able to play to people's emotions quite well.

Part of the transition is admitting when you do feel the regrets and the desires to go back, which have been really strong recently for me even though it's been several years. I could literally feel myself drifting back today, to that place of comfort, of fantasy, of high emotion that grips you and makes you believe you NEED the church. I don't think that means I'm weird, I think it means it's a powerful cult and knows exactly where to hit people so it hurts when they leave, which scares me. Yes, membership is not exactly at an all-time high, but thousands of people truly believe this stuff, and several have even told me they'd die for it. People do convert, not just needy desperate people, but well-adjusted, intelligent people. Thanks to the people who responded compassionately.