My wife left me today. Out of the blue. Just packed a bag and left. I thought things were going better than they ever had. I have not posted because I thought she would come back. She has not.

There is tomorrow, and I hope she is just sorting things out for herself, but I am devastated. All because one of our sons said he was doubting and did not want to go to church.

I hate the fucking church with a deep burning fire of hatred. How deep does the programming have to be in order to walk out on a 20 year marriage.

Fuck.

I wish there is something I could say to help.
But there simply isn't. What a terrible thing
to happen. I am so sorry.

mormonism breaks up another family.


you didn't say the age of the doubting son.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 06/30/2013 10:18PM by Dave the Atheist.

Wow, I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope things work out for the best for you.

My sympathies. Hopefully her time away leads her to a clearer understanding of the harm she's doing.

Earlier today, somebody started a thread titled "Just get over it." His main premise was that we all needed to get over our anger at the church.

I mentioned that there are those who have earned their anger, through their sacrifice and service to an empty promise. I neglected to mention those who earned it through disapproving parents or spouses who have left them. For them, the psychological conditioning runs so deep that even a long marriage filled with love and reason cannot overcome it.

Thoughts are with you.

Oh, no! :( Some family centered cult, huh?

Oh, man. I'm so sorry. Is there any way you can use the bishop to your advantage? Perhaps he can counsel her to say with a spouse who will love and provide for the family? It beats her being a burden on the church.

What ever happens, there is life after a marriage break up. Often it's very good. I'm so sorry for the pain you're going through now.

+1^^^^ Can you have the bishop talk to her, it might help...sorry.

And Mormons always think they are such a good, harmless, family-centered Christian religion. Out of the other side of their mouths, they'd say your wife is justified in protecting her kids. That's not Christ-like, harmless or family centered. It's manipulative, harmful and evil. Hopefully she will come to her senses and be willing to work with you. I'm so sorry she can't see the obvious now though. Hugs.

OMG icanseethelight. I know exactly how you feel . . . like someone kicked you in the stomach and you can't breath.

My husband left us over my non-belief. It was the absolute worst time of my life. Amazingly, we reconciled just before our final divorce hearing.

We're here for you, whatever happens.

Love,
Shannon ;o)

I predict she will be back....with an ultimatum. She's going to hold your balls to the fire, like a good little Mormon wife.

Well I wish you only strength and wisdom. Give it some time.

I have been seperated almost two years now cause I chose to not due church and didn't believe. The programming runs so deep the TBMs can't see it at all.

Just be the best you can regardless of TSCC

Sorry for your loss. Hope it works out.

if the condition is lifelong mormon church membership...that is something to consider as a condition of a marriage.


Wishing you nothing but the best.....

What happened to the old days in the lds church? None of my aunts or uncles or my own parents left their spouses over nonbelief. We were taught to 'endure to the end.' If someone leaves a spouse over loss of belief, they don't believe what the church at least USED TO TEACH.

Do we divorce our nonbelieving children? I guess some do.

These women don't really GET what they are doing to themselves. Single, divorced women are not treated well in mormonism--second marriages, step families especially in mormonism are difficult. Does she really think she can replace you with a better man? The "joke" is on her.

cl2 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What happened to the old days in the lds church?
> None of my aunts or uncles or my own parents left
> their spouses over nonbelief. We were taught to
> 'endure to the end.' If someone leaves a spouse
> over loss of belief, they don't believe what the
> church at least USED TO TEACH.
>
> Do we divorce our nonbelieving children? I guess
> some do.

My DW, a hurting adult child of divorce, refuses to divorce legally. But after 50 years of marriage, she finds it impossible to pardon me for committing the "sin" of telling my 14 year old son that he didn't have to go to church on Sunday. She feels she will not be able to feel unrestrained love for me again, or until she meets Jesus or something.

Our son never believed any of the Moism anyway, and she did get him to church every other Sunday for several months after I spoke with him, and she had her chance to reach out and seriously connect with him about LDSInc., but he finally just begged off. Of course, he would rather play online WoW than attend LDS meetings. But he didn't like church. The only reason I told him that he didn't have to go, was because he was complaining about it to me. I asked him if he wanted to go, and he said no. I thought he should have the right to choose for himself. But to DW, I am a traitor to her heart's desire, and must be sanctioned.

Yes, the programming runs that deep...

this is horrible.

I have zero experience with intimate relationships. Never had a girlfriend. However, I offer this advice, that perhaps you should remind her of WHY she married you in the first place. Remind her of what further damage she will do to her children by depriving them of daily interaction with their loving father (provided that you ARE a loving father, which is probably safe to assume). Show your wife that you care. Hopefully you can get that through her hard head. Do your best to think wisely and optimistically. Whatever happens, you have us for support.

earlyrm Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I have zero experience with intimate
> relationships. Never had a girlfriend. However,
> I offer this advice, that perhaps you should
> remind her of WHY she married you in the first
> place.

This approach, which many counselors use to try to rekindle a
relationship doesn't work in Mormonism, because the reason one
gets married in Mormonism is to be in a "Temple Marriage" to a
"worthy partner." This is what's needed to get to the CK.
So, as usual, cult considerations override any reality.

> Remind her of what further damage she will
> do to her children by depriving them of daily
> interaction with their loving father (provided
> that you ARE a loving father, which is probably
> safe to assume).

Again that would be a VERY good point in any other situation,
but in Mormonism the most important thing is being faithful to
the Church. A father who is a role-model for apostasy is
considered harmful to his children no matter how decent he is
in every other aspect of fatherhood. So, as usual, cult
considerations override any reality.

> Show your wife that you care.
> Hopefully you can get that through her hard head.
> Do your best to think wisely and optimistically.
> Whatever happens, you have us for support.

Love and caring, though fundamental in a normal non-cult
marriage, are of secondary importance in a Mormon marriage.
The wording of the Temple marriage ceremony makes no mention
of loving, honoring, or cherishing each other, but only of
obeying all the covenants made in the endowment ceremony. You
are not married to each other as much as you are married to
the Church. So, as usual, cult considerations override any
reality.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/01/2013 01:39AM by baura.

Cannot think of a single thing to say that could ease the pain. All I can do is agree with you that it is a F-ing cult. Any organization that could covertly encourage people to do this kind of thing to a family has no business calling itself a church let alone Christian.

Ugh. That just fucking hurts. Take care of yourself and ride it out. You deserve a better relationship.

The church destroys families, plane and simple. Sorry. I hope you can sort through this.

God, grant me the serenity to except the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the courage to know the difference.

One day at a time brother....

I am sorry for your pain. How hurtful to think that all you are, and all you contributed to a 20 year marriage, was swept away by your wife on the basis of a corporations need to control its members.

I am so sorry. Hopefully she will return in time. My thoughts are with you.

I too understand. My husband and I divorced because we could not agree on the issues of the church. We have been able to become friends once again but we don't talk about the cult.

There is life after divorce. Even if it doesn't look like it right now.

Thank you for all the support. Things have been really fantastic for the last few months. I thought we were moving in the right direction.

I think her cog-dis is so great she just snapped. I truly want her to be happy and if she cannot be happy with me I will help her get to a place where she can be happy. And that is what hurts so much, we have been very happy, unless she has been faking it.

Maybe realizing she could be happy without the church actually frightened her. It makes me wonder if someone said something to her that put the fear in her.

Perhaps she needs to calm down and will think better of her course of action. Sometimes people need to sort things out. It isn't pretty, though.

Apparently she cares more about a church than her own family.

So sorry dude. I can't imagine your pain, but I offer sympathies. :( ((hugs))

So Sorry to hear about your pain. Maybe she.ll come back! Alot of time women just need to sort out things. Most LDS women I know who divorce men (myself inclued) do it over abuse or infadelity. And even w/THOSE Circumstances its REALLY Hard.(as much as I hate to admit it).If thats the only real problem (no inlaw involved) than I think the chances are good she,ll come back! Out of the twenty or so other lds women Ive met who are divorced I only met 3 who were treated well by the church. Most r treated bad!!

I hope she reconsiders. Maybe the time away will help with that process. Sending good thoughts your direction. Life sucks sometimes.