The high usage of anxiety medication within Mormonism is well documented (an issue that is all but ignored in the church). Do any of you (particularly females) have experience with the usage of anxiety meds during your TBM and now ex-mo lives? Did you notice a difference in your need for anxiety meds? Has moving beyond A TBM world view increased/decreased your need for anxiety meds?

If you have noticed a reduction in your need for anxiety meds, what factors do you attribute your higher levels of anxiety to during your TBM days?

Admittedly, I still take anxiety medication. I think Mormon or not, I have just been thru some stuff that I am still processing.

However, when I was LDS, I was really ashamed of taking it. I kept it quiet lest people know I wasn't really happy. Additionally, when I tried CBT (cognative behavioral therapy) it didn't really help much because I wasn't comfortable enough with my own thoughts, feelings and history to really process it.

Since leaving Mormonism, the further I get from it, the more effective talk therapy and CBT has been. One of my counselors actually called me out on it and said, "Emily. You need to quit trying to be the "good girl" and become the wise woman you need to be to be happy and successful in your life." It was pretty amazing.

Just my point of view, but I think if I had remained LDS I would probably be on anxiety meds forever because I only felt free enough and empowered enough to only do so much. Now that I have given myself permission to be my authentic self I see so much more progress.

I have been burdened my whole life with depression, but never considered taking anti-depressants. I felt like I should be able to be happy, because after all, I had the truth of the gospel. I went to four different counselors over a ten year period and was still deeply depressed. Finally, I decided to try Lexapro, an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety. It has and is changing my life. I always knew I was depressed, but never really realized HOW depressed and how much it hindered me. I am a different person now and actually enjoying life.This new-found happiness is what is giving me the ability and courage to look into my issues with the church. This is relatively recent, as I started taking the rx in March of this year and stopped going to church in May.

Anti-depressants all had nasty side-effects on me. Anxiety medicines do not but are addicting. I take clonzephram. I'm a guy.

I'm a male. My biggest concern about antidepressants is that they are so dangerous. Do some research on the internet and you will find out what I mean. They can literally make people kill themselves. Sexual side effects occur in over 50% of users. You have to balance the risks with the rewards.

Antidepressants are like the Mormon Church. They are both harmful, but nobody wants to talk about that. When you bring up uncomfortable truths with the Church, people avoid you like the plague. When you bring up uncomfortable truths with antidepressants, people also avoid you like the plague.

I am a skeptical person. My skepticism has allowed me to discover that Mormonism is a fraud. My skepticism has also allowed me to discover that antidepressants are extremely dangerous and that this danger is covered up by psychiatrists, the FDA, and the pharmaceutical companies. These groups try to suppress the "anti-Mormon literature" of antidepressants. Just because you ignore it does not mean it does not exist. Another really discouraging thing is that nobody in my family will talk about the "anti-Mormon literature" of antidepressants, in the same way that they don't talk about the anti-Mormon literature of Mormonsm. I feel this way about politics as well. Human nature just does not like to deal with negative information, even when that information is true, which is why some people will never learn the truth, because they hate "negative stuff."

Antidepressants can help in some cases, but the same thing can be said about Mormonism. Mormonism does help some people, but that does not mean it is true, any more than good results from antidepressants means that bad results do not exist.

Probably the biggest reason I don't take them is moral. I believe that truth is the highest, most moral pursuit there is. I believe that lies and coverups are immoral. If I took the antidepressants and if they helped me, I would still be giving money to a corrupt organization that hides the truth of the real dangers, just like if I went to Church, enjoyed it and paid tithing, I would be giving money to an organization that hides the truth and that hurts other people very badly.

If you think my accusations are nonsense and not worth looking into, remember when you first heard about anti-Mormon literature and you thought it was obviously wrong and not worth looking into. Only when you decided to take it seriously did you discover the truth. It's the same with anti-depressants. Take the other side seriously and you will learn more than you bargained for.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/02/2013 02:56PM by behindcurtain.

You're right, I've heard about this and the effects really can be very severe. The problem is that emotions are suppressed by these antidepressants, which means that ups and downs can be more extreme. Drugs are not magic, they work by messing with your head, and that's why what you're saying about risks vs rewards is really important.

The more extreme drugs used in in-house wards I've read can damage people for years (sometimes decades), whereas if they simply had peace and quiet and kind, good treatment plus group therapy and counseling they would get better in a couple years. The mind has natural healing processes that will often work with time if the mind is not being destroyed by extreme drugs or other damaging treatments.

Antidepressants do not make people kill themselves, nor do they induce homicidal rage. In the early 1990s, these false claims were traced back to the Christian Scientists, who oppose all medical treatment. They felt very threatened by Prozac, because it actually worked and had fewer side effects (and was less vulnerable to the phenomenon of only working for a few months like the older tricyclics). They were willing to say anything to scare people away from effective medicine.

More recently, the Scientologists have been attacking psychiatric medicines, and there are tons of conspiracy theorists out there ranting about "Big Pharma" in the same breath as reptilians and the Illuminati.

There is simply no scientific evidence for any of these claims. Pharmaceutical companies have been forced to issue warnings about antidepressants supposedly causing suicidal thoughts or actions in "children, teens, and young adults," but that is purely a CYA measure. It has no basis in reality.

I'm a practicing psychotherapist and I have had a handful of clients for whom an antidepressant increased their agitation and anger and they had to stop taking that medication. So, no, it is not a myth that medication *can* increase suicide risk, as agitation is a big risk factor for suicide. It doesn't happen often and often those people can take another medication without having severe side-effects.

Like many things, using medications involves trade-offs. I have seen medications sometimes do a lot of good, sometimes make little difference, and sometimes make things worse. I personally think they are overused and that often we would benefit more from making changes in how live rather than take medication. Still, medication has a place and sometimes is a life-saver.

I have also talked with skilled psychiatrists I respect about their concerns about the pharmacological industry. They *do* put a lot of money into influencing prescribing and regulation. The docs I've talked to are concerned about the ads on t.v. aimed at patients because they give patients false expections about what the medication can and cannot do.

I think even counseling wouldn't be as necessary if people learned some skills early in life, were treated well, and had adequate social support. But that would take huge societal changes.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/03/2013 11:15AM by robertb.

You have to take into account that the first 2-6 weeks of taking any SSRI many people will feel much worse than they already do. Given that it is used to treat people statistically more likely to commit suicide in the first place, these initial side-effects of worsening depression and anxiety might very well be the straw that broke the camels back so to speak.

I have had panic attacks for over 50 years. They happened before I joined tscc, while I was a member, and after I left. I hate them and resent having this burden to carry. A friend once reminded me, "Everybody has something." It was actually a little comforting.

There's no relation between tscc and my panic. For whatever reason--I suspect neurological--I just have these episodes. They're fairly well controlled with a low dose of Prozac.

What did people do before Prozac? We suffered. Quite a few drank; research indicates 1/4 to 1/3 of those with panic disorder self-medicate with alcohol. This is probably what people did in the past.

I guess it would be nicer to have a really cool problem--diabetes is quite hip, I hear--but I got panic disorder.

Like the guy said, everybody's got something.

Be careful what you wish for. Diabetes is NOT a fun thing. You can lose limbs, go blind, have a stroke, heart attack, or die. Not to mention that managing it is a bitch.

Some can manage it, some cannot. There are plenty of diabetics that also have anxiety disorders. Sometimes its not an either or proposition.

Myself, I live in fear of diabetes. I don't have it yet, but the cards are not in my favor. Anxiety, i've had plenty. I had major problems with it for years. More than once my husband had to come and get me because I was so disoriented I couldn't drive. Sometimes I would be at the grocery store 5 blocks from my house. I moved away from the State I lived in, (not Utah) and my anxiety attacks went away. I also left the church at the same time. I think the combination of the two played to my advantage.

Learn your triggers. That was the biggest help for me. I then had to learn to sit with it until I could calm down my thoughts. I got better with it as time went on. I didn't do well on any medications I tried, so gave up on those.

I have a strong genetic predisposition to depression and anxiety and even more anxiety--- the OCD kind. My anxiety and panic was so extreme that a xanax alone would not even touch it.

I didn't really understand why my life was so painful and scary all the time. I played "what if" over and over again in my mind, at home, at work, almost all the time. I wanted my kids to experience a full life and not be afraid to try things but I was super anxious about everything. This was my OCD anxiety that I get from one parent. The depression & more anxiety I believe comes from the other parent.

I was so uptight and superstitious about the church that I didn't even dare look at it critically for fear that..... something bad would happen to my family. I obsessed about stupid stuff. OCD stuff.

And then my health care provider gave me some Celexa and after only about one week my life started changing for the better.I don't think I had experienced all the stages of sleep for years. I slept better than I had since I was a kid.I became more of the person I really am and was a much funner mom.

I started to look at mormonism more critically without fear. My brain was working better and I was able to use it, and books, and the internet to find my way out. I don't think that would of happened without the medication.

I take an SSRI and anti-anxiety med when needed. I refuse to be apologetic about it. It makes me cringe when people bitch about other people being "addicted" to it. They can all go to hell.
It has given me my life back.

So, long story short, I am not on an SSRI & anxiety meds to zombify me to stay in the church, They helped my brain work better so I could see my way out--kind of like having to wear glasses. No one wants to have to wear glasses but the world becomes so much clearer.

I'm a woman. I started having severe anxiety and depression about the time I hit puberty. This was not surprising as it runs in my family on both sides, TBM and nevermo. I bounced from medication to medication until college when I finally found a combination that worked. I had a prescription for Xanex for years. Then, when I started drifting away from church, I started feeling less anxiety. One day after leaving I realized I couldn't remember the last time I felt anxious or taken anything for it. That was a pretty big nail in the coffin for me. I still take antidepressants, but a much lower dose, and I'm religious (haha) about monitoring it.

Biology gave me depression. But TSCC gave me anxiety.

I never took them as a TBM. Now I wear my war zone PTSD stripes with pride and enjoy daily a cocktail of lithium and lexapro. Perhaps people are quick to judge those who take meds. There's many people on RfM who like to bring up anti-anxiety meds and tie it to TSCC. While I don't dispute the facts that UT consumes a lot, there could be other factors at play that those quick to judge haven't considered. 1) Close knit community suggests more friends and families recommend taking meds to each other. 2) Doctors are more inclined to prescribe them 3) they actually make life NICER. 4) Genetics: UT TBM families are very much inter related now.

Certainly a TBM may not understand why they don't feel happy with a houseful of little children, doing what think is "right" etc. It's all mental, subconscious, genetic, and chemical. I'm from pure UT TBM roots and I LOVE MEDS. They saved my life and marriage.

Sometimes these anxiety med posts are full of judgement and a little haughty-taughty scorn for TBMS who take them. Big drug companies didn't invent these drugs for Mormon moms who are over worked and unappreciated and affected by cog dis cause the Mormon church is actually a hoax. They made them because human chemical production is an unstable biological process. Drugs make life better for a lot of people. Who gives a shit if they're Mormon women.

I am a lady, and yes, at one time I took Paxil -- an anti depressant very similar to Prozac.


But then -- by accident, actually -- I discovered something much safer that did the same job.


EXERCISE.


I found that if I played a vigorous half hour of basketball, or took an aerobics class (or better yet, a water based aerobics class) at a local gym, or even just ran for a half hour to an hour, I felt alot better the entire rest of the day.


Walking really didn't cut it -- I had to do something a bit more vigorous than that to get the "prozac effect."


But I didn't have to train for the olympics to get the benefits of exercise -- just a half hour to an hour of vigorous activity would do it.


I joined the Y shortly after discovering that, and then later changed over to a local public gym where I could get the same classes for free.


I'm much healthier now, feel better, have lost weight -- and depression is a part of my PAST, not my present.


Of course, so is my membership in the LDS church -- and yes, I think that dumping the LDS church with all of its restrictions on women helped alot too.

some research study documented your experience too- so its not just ancecdotal.

I (stooidly) used excersize to avoid using more drastic airway opening medication for several years- when I awoke in the night choking and coughing, I went into my husband's free weight gym and began pulling reps on his cable cross over, then sat in his Smyth machine (sorry no relation JS) pushing about 70 pounds in reps over my head- when I began hit a level of atheletic push-
zamo- I could breath again and stopped coughing and wheezing.

stoopid because for me it was dangerous there was a reisk unknown to the then stoopid me of the asthmatic incident getting worse- quickly- when I was alone- in the garage pumping weights trying to force that physicological response to working out LOL without a cell phone married to a rather deaf man asleep who wouldn't hear it ifn' I'd called him- can we stay stoopid-

coughing when laughin at a joke in my doctor's office I discovered that is an asthma symptom, and that waking up in the night (particularly in our air basin) wheezing is an asthma symptom. while YES one may open one's air ways- I dn't know with adreniline? they do thaaat during anaphalaxis FOR you with an epi pen- so I got stuck with an ti hist i mine and air way opener inhaler.\\

I thought I was being so smart about it=- I love my life & I would never compromise it or take a risk like driving the wrong direction or driving at night without my lights on- why would I life weights when my rescue inhaler failed - for fear of worse medication and side effects- when the side effect- of not breathing- of choking coughing and wheezing struggling to get air trying to breath- well the side effect of that-
is worse than the side effect of air way support inhaler combinations- because = its not bereathing. & that's leaving.

I apologize for my limited comprehension & past stoopidity it almost cost my darling family their lovely dw & mom & all served professionaly wouldn't ever have knew me- because I wanted to be strong. I wanted to be independent. I didnt' want to need help for any weakness and I was in denial- that after being raised between a turkey ranch and a dairy traveling in a smoke box car environment rebreathing air from two chain smokers guesss the f waht? I need help breathing. If I aint' breathing I'm leaving.

So making a long story short I'd be remiss to say that yes no one wants medicine everyone wants to be strong & I wanted to be a princess damn it every girl does. *( very few are & I hear in the old days few married for love, they lived in castles,with guards, used in political aliance buidling through marrying for their castledom's networking)

My spouse was coaching hs atheletes & he thought I was trying to have something similar to him, *never got cut muscles like him amazingly ; 0 but he thought I was despeartely trying to be more athletic & less curvy he thougth it was hysterical the russian twist machine (see Dr. Squat . com) made my glutes stick out and raised my butt when I was trying to streamline my shape and muscles under the breasts made them stick out more not less- all these mis cues and mistaken expectations- I even expected weight lifting to make me thinner slimmer taller looking like my adopted mom (Swedish Irish) rather than thickening my legs, my glutes, increasing my width my arms- gorw grow muscles- does that mean anything to you? stoopid stoopid I thought it meant slim prettier.

So there I am wrestling with my mistaken expectations of turning into a tall svelt swedish short dark haired version of my adopted mom if I JSUT LIFT WEIGHTS ENOUGH if I am tought enough strong enough last long enough damn it its going somewhere - so husband had no clue I wanted to be prettier get a taller less curvy trimmer look & I turned into a more muscled person.

trying to breath- if you push the limit until that air way opens- lifting weights- you take a risk with your life. Dont' do that get a new inhaler. &* if the old one didn't control your asthma I have learned - don't pump weight until your wheezing stops its a dangerous game.

what does this have to do with anxiety & depression? We all can benefit from forms of talk therapy- how else would I have ever discovered my mis taken expecation based on the logic of lifting heavy weights multiple reps do not make you shrink. I needed help understanding my efforts and expectations did not have matching outcome, and why I had that expectation, help to deal with it and accept myself.

and in the meantime, and anytime breathing is an issue of mine I will use an upgraded inhaler not take a risk with dying accidentally trying to be stronger & in denial.

PS life situations were depressing, & I did lift weights between kid' surgeries. it probably saved my life getting me active & proactive & something to control in a powerless situation.
the bad air quality & the sets of inhalers just krept up on me, and when one didn't work I didn't know it because I didn't notice avoiding singing and began to avoid telling jokes when I couldn't laugh- I was using a disociating defense mechanism to avoid experiencing pain (go numb) I was disociating anxiety when I coudlnt' breath deeply laugh or sing (change mood/ function)... it wasn't depression actually. So if you are numb or dissociating you don't feel or stay in the body long enough in that feelings physically- to feel, pain across your ab, or your knee, or aching when you breath, you defeel you numb physically.

lifting weights as a form of mindfulness phsically began to help me feel my body, stay, not dissociate. A few mirrors helped me see my body helped with mindfulness. And that excersize- changed me- my entire reality, even though I only began trying to change my body.
air way opening safely during an asthma attack? meh, not so much. Dr told me it was a dangerous risk, & I didn't even notice it.

Other peole had to notice- oh I see you are breathing shallowly that concerns me can we do an airway test? and believe it. believe observers. trust. trust them. trust the air way medicine.

one thing about not disociating, about staying, is you feel pain. its shocking. I was very hurt, upset- shocked- despairing- to stand hobbling on an aching knee and the pain woudln't go away- the leg didn't go numb. I couldn't believe I might need pain medication- it frightened me. Not having a dissociative defense reaction automatically pop right in and zzzip go numb- it didn't happen. LIFE IS DIFFERENT NOW>

pain serves a purpose I could have hurt that knee. Depression may serve a purpose ONLY IF IT IS A SITUATION- that you can change, that depressio made you notice it, (the situation crept up graduatlly getting overwhelming or unpleasant)-

WHY would I lift weights when the inhaler didnt' help me breatih? they had made me feel in control of something before and saved my whole life.

I think anti depressants & anti anxiety meds are something like air way openers when your best shot & everyone's making their best effort- just needs help.

But I definitely had much more anxiety back then so I definitely should have had. Now when I have such meds I hardly use them or need them.

Why did I have so much anxiety back then? I really don't know, I started having panic attacks at the age of two, it wasn't related to mormonism. The only thing mormonism did was to make it worse by providing more things to worry about, more to be afraid of and it also taught me illogical thinking and to believe emotions are manipulated by cosmic forces you cannot really control.

The big difference now is that I've learned to notice when my brain is making up bullshit to worry about and instead of getting more and more cought up in it I simply dismiss it by asking myself: Really? And I know this will happen because...? And how likely is that to happen? And so on. That is, I apply huge scepticism upon worries that otherwise might develop into anxiety.

During a F/T meeting about 10 years ago a woman in the ward stood up and said, "I have new medication now. I don't feel anything anymore. I used to know the church was true, but now I think it is true." Then she turned around and walked back to her pew. I over heard three women talking in RS later that day about how shocked they were that she didn't follow the "guidelines" of a testimony. None of them mentioned helping her.

Anxiety runs in my family. So I found I can't function normally unless I take anxiety medication. Unfortunately, Mormonism fucked me up more in that sense. I feel guilty about a lot of things even today. Even now, though I just downed and entire 12% Four Loko, and I think I'm supposed to be "drunk", my anxiety makes me hyper-aware of how completely socially challenged I am. I could drink 2 or 3 of these and still be a nervous wreck. Such is life.