I have listened to the John Dehlin podcast about why Mormons leave. The internet and access to information that was previously unavailable seems to be the catalyst for most people to decide to leave TSCC. People now find disturbing information and they Bolt.

I don't think that knowledge of troubling history, or doctrine was a fundamental reason for people to leave in the past.

Most run of the mill members didn't have access to that information. You had to activily seek out (by leaving your home and physically searching at a book store or library) what was called anti mormon materials. Good Mormons didn't do that.

Most members became inactive, by just getting tired or starting to work on Sunday, or buying a boat, or making new friends. In other words becoming inactive was more of a Drift.

Love bombing worked on people who had drifted. It brought the idea of going to church back in to a persons consciousness and that combined with a double dose of guilt brought some people back at least for a while.

People who bolted, because they found information are not going to be brought back by love bombing. Love bombing will not change facts. A lie, is a lie, is a lie. If every person who has Bolted from TSCC shares just one fact with the people who are sent to love them back into full fellowship, the reactivation attempt could backfire,,,big time.

I realise that some of the people on this board have been out for a long time and that they did leave because of information, but how did you find that information and do you think that you were typical?

I stopped going in 2006 for sinful and offended reasons. I didn't find access to the necessary information until 2008. It was quite by accident, because I wasn't looking for it. I was just browsing the Internet while I thought about what to do about my sinful and offended nature, when all of a sudden, "Joseph Smith said WHAT??!!" concerning what hot stuff he was: "...nor Jesus ever did it." Simply indefensible, and quite disturbing.

I chose to "drift". I have property I need to sell in an all Mormon town that I don't live in anymore. If I'm "inactive" I'm still a believer in their eyes. They are so vicious they'd let my land burn down to a crisp if they thought I'd resigned.

After the land sells and the deal closes I will send in my resignation.

Drifting has it's advantages. It keeps me on good terms with the members who know me. They're kind of sad I'm not at church, but they would be completely heart broken if they thought I'd apostatized. They could never see my resignation as anything but apostacy. It's not. I don't want to be part of the fraud and I won't be forever. So I drift for now.

I don't want to be cruel to them. I can go away and not come back. I will move from here someday and they'll never know where I went and won't be sad.

I can relate. I actually think most people are strategic with their "drifting" and it usually has to do with money, first and feelings, second.

I drifted for decades, never gaining what I'd call a testimony. Too many things bothered me all along. I finally decided to bolt when I realized TSCC had become something entirely different from what it was fifty years ago when I was a child. They have circled the wagons, taken control of everything from a centralized command and opacified the financial dealings of the corporation. Outward indications are that they've taken tithing money and invested it in all sorts of things, and the beneficiaries are an elite cadre of higher ups. The Jesus mall was the last straw there, and I have a dozen other issues, such as misogyny, canonized racism, coverups of weird past history, etc.

I could have lived with the history if they'd just come out and said "We were wrong then. We want our religion to be in conformance with all that's good in this day, and we acknowledge past errors." They didn't do that. Instead, they opted for a Orwellian method of rabbit-hole logic and teaching half-truths.

I reached a breaking point. From this point on, I am an anti-missionary. TSCC is rotten to it's core, IMHO.

I think I might be a somewhat strange case, in that I bolted in 2008 when the information was all out there and easy to find, but that it had nothing to do with why I left. I didn't find out about the historical problems or changes in doctrine or any of the "meat" until after I had decided TSCC wasn't true. I hadn't read the scriptures deeply enough to notice all the inaccuracies or contradictions. I hadn't been to the temple.

I bolted because I realized that I was better than the mormon church, and that meant it wasn't perfect, and that meant it wasn't true. I was positive that it was all a fraud. Months or maybe even a year later, I stumbled across this forum and found plenty of evidence and reason to validate that idea.

I bolted last year when I found out about the major doctrinal and scriptural changes that the church doesn't acknowledge. While the way that I found out--during sacrament meeting--wasn't typical, I think my reaction is pretty typical for someone who is/was truly a TBM. Once someone is convinced that the core doctrines are a fraud, then why the hell should they stay?

It's understandable that many people drift--we should all do what works best under our own individual circumstances.

I bolted. I was very active, my husband was bishop at the time. I was only trying to get information to protect the church from things I was learning from other sites. Well....that did not work. I learned I had not been told the truth about anything and the historical accounts of the church were not accurate. The history did not support the claims of the church and I was done.

I think I am NOT typical of most Mormons. I was very TBM and was on my mission when I started encountering "anti-Mormonism."

I actually served in Utah and would come across "anti-Mormons" or ex-Mormons who had read anti-Mormon material and they would try and share those truths with me.

I figured they were "lies and distortions" and I thought I could read them and figure out how they were lying and distorting the truth. In an effort to understand what these people were talking about and to be able to start answering these hard questions they would ask me, I would buy anti-Mormon books so I could debunk them. I also went to Deseret Bookstore to study the rebuttals.

This was pre-internet days, but I had a desire to learn even if it didn't support my pre-conceived notions. I couldn't understand why Mormons were so scared of anti-Mormon books. If the church is true, there's nothing to be scared of. If these books contained "lies and distortions" then I should be able to spot them. If not, there should be Mormon experts who can explain how they are lying and distorting. Even if there is troubling info in them, by being sincere and wanting to know the truth, the spirit should be able to overcome whatever doubts I develop. Turns out the church was false.

This is very insightful. I think most Mormons can imagine the drifting process, and they are used to the love bombing working for that very reason.

They really don't get the reasons we bolt, which is why they are so clueless and surprised when the love bombing not only fails to reactivate, but is met with such hostility.

I was one of those who started with a drift and ended with a bolt.

The minute I went to BYU I knew I didn't fit in. I wasn't petite by any means. I didn't have blond hair or blue eyes. I didn't have any desire to get married in some "scary" Temple ceremony, without my Catholic parents there with me.

I knew in my heart that I would remain single and childless -- forever cooped up in some Singles ward -- if I remained a Mormon. I knew if by some miracle I did marry, that I would have to give up my career dreams and would probably be the focus of some psycho LDS mother-in-law, who took issue with my brown liberal self.

After graduation I bolted! Post-Mormonism I had a fabulous life. Happily married with a son. Successful career. Religious freedom. Good books and movies, coffee, travel.

Senoritalamanita Wrote:
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be the focus of some psycho LDS mother-in-law, who took issue with my brown liberal self.
>
>

LOL, I had to laugh at this because you just described my current situation. Sigh.

I faked it for 25 years after analyzing the plan of salvation as a teenager and realizing it was elitist and racist. In 1990 I seriously questioned the temple changes and began reading the D&C with sharper vision. 6 more years of studying McConkie, Joseph Fielding Smith, and Talmage lead to my questions in Sunday School and RS about failed prophecies in the D&C, about why so many members of Joseph's 1st presidencies left the church, and why the scriptures can be changed. I was called into the bishop's office and told to quit asking questions because I was "causing contention"! That's when I bolted! Great thread!

I Bolted. Forty years ago. I had never heard an anti-mormon thing in my life. I was halfway through BYU after my mission, had never had the slightest doubt even though being a gay Mormon was hell for me.

I read one chapter of the Miracle of Forgiveness and suddenly knew all the way to my core that what was written there by a prophet of the church was ugly and dangerous, and in that instant I knew the church was a lie. I count finally listening to my own instincts and trusting myself as the best moment of my life.

I read No Man Knows My History 37 years later and was just floored when I found out the real dirt on the church. Icing on the cake.

The key information that led to my apostasy was:

- The Bering Strait

- Columbus introducing horses to the Americas

That's it. An elementary school history education is enough to disprove mormonism.

When my parents would act like idiots and say "Why won't he show us the birth certificate? WHERE IS THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE?" I'd respond with "Zarahemla."

I am now drifting, but hope to dock as soon as I can get other people to respect my decisions (crazy things ward members do doesn't hurt). I do not want to lose trust with people. It takes to long to build trust to just throw it away.

In short, I am scared of the consequences.

I bolted when I was 19. Grew up in a TBM family, but I never really got hooked on it. Early in my teen years, little things I was learning caused bumps in the road (those darned horses!). Other things I was taught in SS and later seminary, just didn't add up. I found books in the library that discussed the church in factual detail (late 60s, early 70s, so no internet!) This stuff scared me at first, but I kept looking for more. Because of my age and family situation, I drifted along and just went with the flow more or less.

Finally, I was faced with either the dreaded mission and spreading the lie of TSCC, or leave home and go it on my own.

I joined the Army.

Slightly aside... I have almost decided that there is no such thing as "anti" mormon information. There are only facts and actual history.

BOLTED at age 13, a deacon, along with my 2 brothers, around my age...

At the time, my oldest brother, 16 years my senior, was the only brother who was active, along with my parents and all my relatives.

My other 3 brothers(much older) were inactive; they were the catalyst to get me OUT!!!


I never really drank the Mormon Kool Aid...

Then, I discovered The Truth.

It taught me to follow my heart...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/02/2013 10:34PM by breedumyung.

Great thread topic! I never thought about it like this. A little over a year ago, I bolted like Usain, followed immediately by my wife. After years of high visibility ward and stake callings I don't think anyone saw it coming.

But this distinction really makes sense from the standpoint of how you are treated after you leave. We are basically treated like we are invisible AND have leprosy.

After the big plan came out a couple weeks ago to reactivate people, we have had zero contact. No love bombs, not even any crappy cookies. I guess maybe people think our apostasy is contagious.

DW, my kids, and I bolted earlier this year. Bishop's face was priceless when I told him so.

I found out some of the JS stuff, but mostly the temple ceremony changes after driving home from work one day and seeing the web address for "josephlied.com" spelled in red Solo cups on an overpass fence on the freeway.

I kept it to myself for years and just kept pretending because I thought it would mean instant divorce if I brought it up. Told DW about it around 4 years ago and let things like Prop H8 and the Great and Spacious Mall eat away at her until last October when I started frequenting RfM and Mormonthink.

Of my inactive/JackMo relatives, I have about 3 who bolted but mostly everyone drifted.

In the past, I have drifted a couple of times. Each time I got a call from the Bishop to accept a calling and I'd half heartedly go back. The last time I went back, I did so with much more commitment. I got in pretty deep. Then in 2008 I discovered some historical and doctrinal problems and while still dealing with those, I saw first hand what the church was doing with prop 8. What I saw was wrong and really disturbing. With one daughter still TBM and all of my friends also TBM, I just went through the motions. I was teaching Sunday School and if a lesson came up that I couldn't teach without cringing, I'd get a sub. When my daughter and her husband bolted, they left the door open and I bolted as well.

Four years of trying to make it be okay ended with just one sentence. "There is more than one version of the first vision".

The truth has truly set me free and no amount of love bombing, or guilt tripping can make me unlearn what I know.

I bolted in 2008. I was actually looking for somewhat of a support group for Mormon democrats (my ward friends treated me like I had the plague once it was discovered I was working on the Obama campaign), and I stumbled upon the real church history and concluded it was all a fraud.

There were more than enough things that bothered me greatly about the church, but once I concluded it wasn't true, I was able to walk away.

I bolted when I was sixteen. I got in a fight with a fellow TBM on the schoolbus about how stupid it was to make us wait until 16 to date or go to school dances. Everybody we knew hung out and paired off on the weekends anyway.

I logged in to the family computer to find evidence supporting my points and stumbled onto everything else. I think it was the "white and delightsome" scripture change that really opened the floodgates for me. I went on to consume every other piece of evidence against the church.

Anyway, I "bolted" at 16 and refused to baptise my little sister who turned 8 later that year. Needless to say, my parents were not happy.

So began 2 years of the battle for my soul (which really isn't over 8 years later) while I still lived under their roof.

You don't need the internet to know that the church is a scam.

I left during the 80s because the BoM and PoGP were plainly wrong.

The critical points for me were that the two books recycled bronze-age myths that were plainly wrong - the Tower of Babel, the flood, the creation myth. A plain reading of the books requires that to believe they are divinely inspired or revealed scripture, you have to believe in the myths. The myths are not true, therefore the BoM and PoGP are not what they claim themselves to be, and Joseph was a false prophet.

The final straw, when trying to reconcile the scriptures with reality, was reading Mormon Doctrine - McConkie confirmed that belief in evolution was incompatible with the gospel. I opened the book looking for some way to believe, and I shut the book knowing the church was false. I still remember the sound of the book snapping shut.