Did that scandalous title catch your eye? You couldn't pass up the experience to read this? Awesome! Now you can read up on how sex and affection contributed to MY MTC experience!

January 2013 when I was at the MTC, both the MTC president and his counselor met their wives when they were missionaries. No wonder they LOVED missionary work. Most male missionaries do NOT end up marrying the sister missionaries that the served alongside. Anyway, missionaries are forbidden to have ANY type of relationship with the opposite sex. These men are delusional. Your love for your wife is not evidence that missionary work is true.

I literally became unconscious during Pres. Nelson's speech. I'm glad that I wasn't enchanted with his celebrity. Same goes for when Holland and Uchtdorf made their appearances (it was a star-studded two months).

However, I do admit that I have a crush on Holland's granddaughter! She's pretty, genuine, caring... She honestly made me cry when she spoke. And NO, that was not the spirit. I simply felt empathy for an emotional experience that she shared. Seriously, if the prophets wanted me back in the church, they'd send her tracting to MY door, instead of some place in Italy (of course the Apostle's granddaughter gets the COOL mission, while I go to a Californian ghetto -- stupid nepotists).

To President Holland: If you or your spies are reading this, I implore you to consider the possibility of "receiving a revelation" that she should come and teach me. I already resigned, so you can count me as a convert baptism! It's a win-win situation! Of course, if she happens to leave the church, I promise that she will not be un-equally yoked with a believer. If you truly want her to be happy... I'm here. But then again, if you truly wanted her to be happy, you'd tell her the truth about your "authority from God".

(Oh, and an opportunity for more happiness -- I know how much your cult obsesses over their fruitful loins. I can make her loins quite fruitful. The offer's on the table. ...Ooh, we can do it on the table....)

Also in the realm of topic "girls at the MTC" -- there was a beautiful girl working there... I saw several missionaries who flirted with her and succeeded in getting her email. When I got out to the mission field, missionaries who were at the MTC way before me knew about her too! Seriously, it must be a huge confidence booster for her to put millions of flirtatious missionaries in the friend zone.

And some of those sister missionaries in yoga pants --- myyyyy gosh. Don't even get me started. Trust me, the boys and girls at the MTC have the same sexual desires as normal college students. They are only repressed, not removed. You should have heard the conversations we had when the "sisters" weren't around to listen. (Except one missionary that was super sexual, but would get angry at the drop of the word "sex", like it's a cuss word.) Most missionaries entirely shut down those feelings. They call these natural feelings "evil". They drive themselves mad with guilt. It's unhealthy.

So, does anybody else have a story of how sex or affection affected their missionary experience?

It doesn't answer your question, but...

> However, I do admit that I have a crush on Holland's granddaughter! She's pretty, genuine, caring...
> She honestly made me cry when she spoke. And NO, that was not the spirit. I simply felt empathy for an
> emotional experience that she shared. Seriously, if the prophets wanted me back in the church,
> they'd send her tracting to MY door, instead of some place in Italy (of course the Apostle's granddaughter
> gets the COOL mission, while I go to a Californian ghetto -- stupid nepotists).


Actually, Italy can be very frustrating for a Mormon missionary. Nowadays the very few people that get baptized are not Italians but Africans or other immigrants from Eastern Europe and South America. More often than not, they don't even speak Italian. Although they can't understand the lessons, they get baptized anyway. The biggest wards (Rome, Milan) usually have not more than five or six Italian converts a year, out of millions of residents. Most elders don't baptize anyone during their mission.

However, I'm sure the sister saw tons of miracles, had irrefutable spiritual experiences which confirmed that the church is twuuuuu, had the privilege to visit the beautiful temple site (bulldozers and excavators driven by Romanian and Albanian immigrants that work under the table) which will be a huge blessing for the Italians yadda yadda yadda...


PS: are you sure it was Holland's granddaughter? Last year the Rome mission had Nelson's granddaughter.