I've brought up many concerns, most of which I consider damning to TSCC's authenticity, but all I get is "I don't know why God let that happen, or why that contradiction exists, etc..., but I believe the church is true...Joseph Smith wouldn't lie, current leaders wouldn't bear testimony, you think our parents would believe?, etc..." It's exhausting. I don't believe my spouse will ever take my concerns seriously or even consider looking into them. I'm disgusted that I ever had such blind faith and believed in the greatness, or even decency, of JS and BY. I can't continue to endorse/support this church, but I believe that leaving will end my marriage. I feel trapped and sometimes pray that I would just die. Anybody have any suggestions?

Navigating a mixed faith marriage can be very difficult. Decide for yourself that you will not break up your marriage over religion. (It still may end.) Allow your spouse to have their own beliefs and respect them but don't let your own identity be lost. There are support groups out there (facebook) specifically for this issue. Good luck.

Been there! I was one of the lucky ones! Many have suffered the end of the marriage! DH and I discussed our marriage and whether we could separate the church from our commitment to each other. Fortunately he could. I went inactive, we didn't discuss topics, and we respected each others choices. For years he was asked by members when he was going to divorce me. After 12 years he was pressured by the priesthood leadership using the teaching "a man cannot be saved without his wife" BY's actual words were "without his wives". When I showed him that his own shelf started shaking. I would advise you to be patient and loving and respectful. Good luck!

I have learned to take the position of being grateful and appreciative for what I have and leave what I can't control alone.

I found out that just because I had "concerns" or found out something new about the LDS teachings/history etc., others with strong faith, didn't care a bit, including my husband.
I couldn't change someone's belief system! Not possible. Might not even get them to listen.

In relation to the LDS teachings/church/community etc., I found out that there was no need for me to make it an issue with my true believing husband of many decades. He probably never fully understood why I changed my mind, but he knew I was a new convert when we married, so he has some experience with how I "grew up" so to speak in the LDS Church.

Ultimately, we agreed to disagree. He lived the 11th Article of Faith and I respected his right to his beliefs.Any concerns I had, or attitudes that were not negative needed to ditched if I wanted to have peace and harmony at home. So I did.

That was how we worked it out. Our investment in our marriage and family was much more important than a difference of opinion over some beliefs by faith. I knew what was about him and what was about me, and they didn't have to agree.

When his health began to decline and I knew he was running out of time, I made sure I knew exactly what he wanted for his "Going Away Party" as I called it!

I asked him questions, he told me his specific wishes and who he wanted to take the lead. I shared what I wanted, wrote it down and emailed the family. The next day he was unable to walk.

His choice was all centered around the LDS Church traditions, which we confirmed it all with the local Bishop. It was all carried out according to what he wanted: an LDS funeral (all of the immediate family that could be here participated in some manner), including a graveside Honor Guard Ceremony - oldest son presented the flag to me. most are no longer LDS but they all respected his wishes and honored him.

He passed away in January of this year.
We had a little over 50 years together.

Everyone has to figure out what works for them. If there is a strong commitment with both parties to keep the family together, and work on what needs to be negotiated, it's often successful.

I am struggling with the same thing. My husband is TBM and I am trying to figure out how to make it work. If you had an otherwise happy fulfilling marriage, then this shouldn't end your marriage by itself. If you guys already had issues, like we do, then you'll find it to be just another problem that may lead to divorce. You have to decide what YOU want and what you are willing to compromise on. It's not easy.

My wife loved teaching her Primary classes, and she always did little things for them on their birthdays or other special occasions.
The stark reality of Mountain Meadows and of Stake Presidents and Bishops killing kids the same ages as her class was all it took.

What's something that would require a great sacrifice from you that if you did, she would be willing to look at some of the church issues in more detail?

Basically with my TBM wife, I told her I would agree to move to Utah, where her family lives (from Seattle) if she agreed to read and reflect on certain documents/books that I would give her and really look at it with an open mind. It's a calculated risk, because she could read all the stuff and just say 'I still believe' and then I'm stuck in Utah with a TBM wife...but, this was really my only play. Without something I could give her, she would not agree to read any of the material.

If you're curious, here's what I gave her to read; so far she has only read the wives of joseph smith web site and I can see the wheels are starting to turn, but I don't know if it will lead her out of the church or not, we'll see.

1. Wives of Joseph Smith - http://www.wivesofjosephsmith.org/

2. In Sacred Loneliness - http://www.amazon.com/In-Sacred-Loneliness-Plural-Joseph/dp/156085085X

3. Letter to a CES Director - http://mormonthink.com/personalstories/A_Letter_to_a_CES_Director.pdf

4. The Changing World of Mormonism - http://www.utlm.org/other/changingworld.pdf

Best of luck to you! It is very difficult being in a mixed religion marriage...even harder when you have 5 month old twin girls like us.

They don't seem to get this pattern.....

1. "I don't know why (insert doctrinal/ historical/ legal/ racist/ homophobic/ bigotted church issue here)."

2. Repeat over and over for any and all LDS issues

3. Follow with "I know the church is true."

I don't get how so many "I don't know's" add up to "I know."

All the "I don't Know's" really just add up to "I hope."

It almost has to be "You go your way and I'll go mine"!

Give what you want to get. If you want your opinions respected, you have to respect your spouse's opinions.