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Posted by: crom ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 03:22PM

"Saddened".

Mormons, as perpetual representatives of how lovely Mormons are, refrain from being ticked, pissed or angry about anything so they say they are "saddened".

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Posted by: ananke ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 03:23PM


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Posted by: slskipper ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 03:28PM

A crucial difference: "I am pissed/angry"means it is my problem. "I am saddened" means you are at fault.

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Posted by: kolobian ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 03:39PM

"we thank you for this day"

Not yesterday, not tomorrow, but this one specifically. Tomorrow we'll say the same thing.


"please bless the sick & afflicted"

This one is pretty insidious. Being sick is something you bring on yourself through lack of faith. Being afflicted is something that's put upon you by an evil entity, or by 'heavenly father' as a test. It's easy to tell the difference. If you're sick and faithful, you're afflicted. If you're sick and unfaithful, you're just sick. To your face people will say you're afflicted. Behind your back they'll say you're sick.

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Posted by: magnite ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 03:42PM

"I know da shurch is thwooo
I love my mom and dad....
and my buthers 'n sisters too
nam of cheese 'n rice....
anem"

Brainwashing begins early.

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Posted by: SusieQ#1 ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 03:49PM

Of course, they have a distinct set of very common language that has developed over decades and generations which is especially obvious in large Mormon populations.

They have their own Utah dialect, can spot it on the phone in a heart beat! :-)

It's just how they talk, and express themselves.
It's like some areas of some states also. The people sound alike, they use the same terminology, they say the same kinds of things over and over.

Nothing unusual about any of that.

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Posted by: Sperco ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 04:52PM

No there is nothing unusual about it. Cults typically create their own vocabulary that makes them different from the main stream. This is very common for cults. That is why it's fun to talk about.

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Posted by: releve ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 04:11PM

The Church, as if it's the only church in the world. My ward, when referring to a Utah neighborhood.

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Posted by: mysid ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 05:25PM

Catholics refer to the Roman Catholic Church as "The Church" too. And since I'm an exCatholic, seeing "the Church" on this site referring to a different religion took some getting used to.

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Posted by: seeking peace ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 04:16PM

"bless the hands that prepared it"--(bless them so that they can now go the church and scrub the toilets!)

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Posted by: Sperco ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 04:33PM

"I would like to bear my testemony" I don't know anyone but mormons who "bear their testemony"

"Nourish and strengthen our bodies" Even if it's jello

"His countenance didn't have the light of christ" I love this one.

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Posted by: dogzilla ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 04:41PM

Good one! I hate "countenance." Nobody in real life uses that word. I've had to look it up and I still don't think mormons are using it properly. I think it's a noun referring to a face. But I think mormons use it as a verb... because they want to sound smarter and more intellectual than they are.

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Posted by: fiona64 ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 05:05PM

Well, the answer is that it's both ... but not for the reason that Mormons think.

Countenance is indeed a synonym for face.

But as a verb, it means to consent or give permission. I have seldom seen this usage outside of the novels of Jane Austen or Charles Dickens.

To say that someone's "countenance does not have the light of Christ" can only be the noun form. And it's a completely ridiculous thing to say in any event.

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Posted by: Richard the Bad ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 04:35PM

"I would like to bear my testimonkey". Really? You would like to? Then just go ahead and f^@&ing do it already.

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Posted by: fidget ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 04:43PM

I would like to bear my testimony.
I know this church is true.
I know President hinckley is a true prophet.
I love my my mom and my dad and my brothers.
I know the BOM is true.
I know Joseph Smith was a true prophet.
I say these things in the nameofjesuschristamen.

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Posted by: Spud ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 04:37PM

'Nourish and strengthen' our bodies with thy holy mac & cheese (or whatever other crap)! Seriously do you HAVE to pray every f@cking time you put something in your mouth!?

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Posted by: dogzilla ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 04:40PM

Return missionary. No, that's grammatically nonsensical. They should be saying "returnED missionary" because the missionary has returnED from his or her mission. Past tense. Not present.

Temple recommend. Recommend, as used by everyone else on the planet who uses English, is a goddamn verb. RecommendATION is the noun. They should be saying "I have to interview for my temple recommendATION." You don't ask for a Job Recommend or a letter of recommend to get into college. You ask for recommendations.

Bash. I noticed this today, but "bash" seems to mean "something I don't agree with." "Why are you bashing me?" = "Why don't you agree with what I just said?" That smacks of persecution mentality. Most people who use the word bash are referring to a really great party. When I first heard the term "scripture bash," I thought it meant a really lame party where they drank Kool Aid and read scriptures. No, they mean to fight using scriptures as weapons.

I probably have a huge list of more of these, but I'm headed outta here in a minute.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/11/2013 04:42PM by dogzilla.

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Posted by: fiona64 ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 05:06PM

Not LDS-related, but grammatically annoying anyway: invite, where *invitation* would be correct. "Did you get an invite to the party" is of a piece with "I have a current temple recommend."

Ugh.

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Posted by: CL2 ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 04:42PM

I have been surprised to hear 2 very obviously not mormons on news programs or something say "With every fiber of my being"--well, one stopped at "with every fiber"--but I've NEVER heard anyone but mormons use that phrase until recently.

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Posted by: bizquick ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 04:56PM

This thread is awesome and amazing.

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Posted by: crom ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 04:57PM

Edify.

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Posted by: sparty ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 05:01PM

"Even"

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Posted by: fiona64 ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 05:02PM

"Free agency."

My mother to me: "I am using my free agency to tell you that you are no longer allowed to say negative things about The Church."

Me: "What about my free agency?"

Mom: "No, this is about *my* free agency."

Okay then ...

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Posted by: Outcast ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 05:04PM

Calling.

Missionary.

Both of those are used incorrectly within mormonism. A calling is NOT something the bishop asks you to do and a missionary is NOT a sales person.

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Posted by: Levi ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 06:38PM

Thank you!!!

It's not a calling if they applied for the job.

It's a calling if they were just minding their own business and jebus says "hey you!".

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Posted by: Senoritalamanita ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 05:08PM

Forever family
Sweet spirit
Grateful for the gospel
Attending Mutual
Sealed for all time and eternity



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/11/2013 05:09PM by Senoritalamanita.

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Posted by: fiona64 ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 05:10PM

Senoritalamanita Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Forever family

What? Are we talking about pets here?

> Sweet spirit

This one annoys the crap out of me, too. It's no different from "she has a great personality" (which generally translates to "nice but unattractive") when referring to an unmarried woman who is, as Jane Austen used to say, "on the shelf."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/11/2013 05:11PM by fiona64.

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Posted by: 3X ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 05:33PM

Evidences ...

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Posted by: scarecrowfromoz ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 06:19PM

Missionary rather than salesman/saleswoman/salesperson.

"The Church" as if there is only one. Most people if talking to others about their religion would say "my church...."

"Modest" clothing meaning covering the upper arms and knees, but wearing something so tight that you can read the manufacturer's name on their implants.

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Posted by: MelzWhimzy ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 06:31PM

"in this life" or "in the next life" and they add this phrase onto otherwise normal statements. example: "I'm grateful for the friends that I have, in this life."


Also, "religion" ... I noticed this after talking to my TBM brother. When I used the word "religion", I meant religion in general. When he used the word "religion", he meant specifically mormonism. And a very circular conversation was had that day!

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Posted by: MelzWhimzy ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 06:33PM

Also ... "soften your heart" and "obey the brethren"

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Posted by: Lilith ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 06:31PM

Saddened IS another one. I hadn't realized that but my exmo husband uses it too much.

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Posted by: burnned ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 06:32PM

"Impressed", "Disappointed", "Expect", "I Know", etc...

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Posted by: RPackham ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 06:33PM

My nevermo wife cracks up every time she hears a Mormon say "Heavenly Father" instead of "God."

Other MOisms:

"prompted" as in "I feel prompted to warn you about ...." or "I was prompted to phone you..."

"sustain" as in "Do you sustain your bishop?"

The list goes on and on... "endowed" "sealed" "ward" "stake" "Brethren" "general authority" "standard works" "quad" (not on a college campus) "the Y" (not the YMCA)...

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Posted by: CrispingPin ( )
Date: July 11, 2013 06:39PM

"I say these things humbly"
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,952621

Sorry to promote my own post, but that phase always seemed strange to me.

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