So, my young teen child came home from a city sponsored summer camp with Mormon literature that he was given by a volunteer tutor.

Some back info, we have been involved with this city program for years and really like the program and it's staff. Occasionally, they will take advantage of other programs as an assist. This summer, they've partnered with a group of seniors that are volunteering time with the kids in tutoring and my child has been working with a woman with reading.

So, my child brings home a pamphlet titled "Chance or a Supreme Intelligence" by Don and Rayola C Larson. The gist of the pamphlet gives ten reasons that the existence of earth proves the existence of god and then finishes with Mormon propaganda.

My child said that his tutor's friend read this pamphlet and liked it, so she read it and liked it, and he should read it, but not the god parts. This pamphlet has been photocopied and highlighted. She asked my child if she/he wanted to read it and then she sat with him/her while she/ he did.

We have talked to the camp programming director and he is on our side, will provide time for us to meet privately with this woman, will contact her programming supervisor, and whatever we seem necessary.

I am livid! I am also not good with confrontation. I have thought of a number of ways to handle her face to face...with silence and the pamphlet and let her explain, with point by point factual evidence countering the claims of the pamhlet, with strong disapproval, with media attention, etc.

Thoughts? Advice?

Threaten with media and legal if she gives your child religious material without your approval again.

OMG... Get aLife for yourSelf... Are the people at the US so narrowminded?... Look at George Carlin's shows... Every One has the Civil AND Universal Right to learn what THEY want and whst THEY see what 's the Thruth...

Namaste

OMG don't you understand that such programs are NOT to be used to gain converts for a cult.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/03/2013 07:55PM by blueorchid.

Sometimes volunteers who work with kids don't know appropriate boundaries in that regard and must be taught. I would keep the conversation friendly. Tell her that while you deeply appreciate her services, you don't want your child exposed to any religious material.

To give you an example, we had two volunteers in our school building who initially crossed some boundaries (I can't remember if it was privacy boundaries, or boundaries about communication with parents, but it was something along those lines.) The issue was addressed and they both went on to become stellar volunteers, each giving about 20-30 hours of service each week. Our principal was able to trust them with just about any task. The volunteer work eventually paved the way to a paid job outside of the school for one of the women.

BTW, any community volunteer who works in my school must have a background check. This is district policy.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/12/2013 02:12AM by summer.

If this was a city-sponsored event, someone needs to answer for this, as it is a blatant violation if the First Amenement. I would not even bother with the tutor, but go straight to the relevant city official.

This is definitely crossing the boundaries but what I have found in my experience in UTah county that what I think is a big deal ends up being turned back around on me somehow. As if I shouldn't have a problem with it, or I'm misunderstanding something or it's not as big of a deal as I am making it out to be. I don't know how to deal with people like that. (when they are are in the same club) I also hate confrontation and find that I have to be pretty pissed off to confront someone and that also usually backfires. SO maybe it's my approach. So be calm and matter of fact. And talk to someone about this who is NOT in the club!

Why not just send your child to the tutoring sessions with his own reading material.

Send the tutor a note that says:

Starting today__________will be bringing books from home for you to use during his tutored sessions. Please don't use other materials without checking with me first. If you have a list of books that you think ________ might enjoy, please send it home with him.

The lady is out of line, but she's a volunteer. She should have known better than to use that kind of reading material. There are plenty of great books for kids. Since she didn't know better, you need to let her know what you expect from her.

Force yourself to go to this meeting with the woman and say the words you need to say.

"Giving out religious propaganda is inappropriate in this situation. I am disappointed and have lost trust in this program and most certainly have lost respect for the religious organization highlighted in your materials."

See how she answers. If she's defiant or refuses to apologize, hammer home the point that you will not stand for this and feel you must report her to a supervisor, to the church in question, and possibly to your lawyer.

This is called religious grooming.
Do not go into the details of the pamphlet.
Do not have a discussion about it.
Insist that the woman be permanently removed from the programme.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/12/2013 06:43AM by Stumbling.

And turn it around so they can better appreciate how you feel - "how would you feel if your child was given a pamphlet produced by the Scientologists, JWs or any other religious organisation that you don't believe in or support"?

Yeah. How would you feel if I gave your child a pamphlet produced by atheists?

Gawd, this volunteer tutor is 80 years old! We have a meeting planned today with the city program to discuss the best way to go from here...not too interested in picking on granny, but we aren't ignoring this either. Updates to follow, continued advice appreciated!

The purpose of the program is to benefit kiddies, not to protect the feelings of volunteers.

Anyone spry enough to deal with kids is strong enough to hear what you need to say. Being kind and tactful isn't the same as putting up with having your child used this way. The kindest thing you can do is to let the volunteer know what is acceptable to parents and to the public so she won't have this happen again.

+1

Also, I wouldn't feel the need to explain too much with her. The volunteers are the responsibility of the program. Push it with them if you have to.

"You were wrong to have my son read your religious pamphlet as part of his tutoring. If you cannot keep your religion separate from your tutoring then you shouldn't be here. I am very unhappy with this violation of our family's boundaries."

IMO, perfectly stated.

Ah come on...you could mention it to the lady and leave it at that. We always want to threaten people with "legal action" when in reality it is way over the top to do stuff like that. Live and let live. You can tell your kid what you disagree with about the pamphlet, use it as a learning experience. We live in a world of people with all sorts of beliefs and we have to learn how to love and accept people with all sorts of "issues". Maybe just blow this off?

If this happened to your child, you'd present it in a way to reflect *your child's* needs and your own ideas on the incident which would mean advice would hopefully support your situation, not Hayduke's.

In the long run, the most important thing will be to arm the kids with critical thinking skills. There will always be someone trying to push something on them. If not Mormonism, something else.

Granted from what you explained of the situation, it does not seem appropriate in this instance for the volunteers to push any religious agenda.

When it comes to standing up for your child, that's when you need to put aside any fears of confrontation and let this woman know that her behaviour is not acceptable.

If my parents had had the courage to face a little confrontation, rather than not wanting to rock the boat, maybe I wouldn't have been bullied from Grade 6 onwards.

If I hadn't hated school so much because of the bullying, I might have gone to College or University, rather than quit the moment I turned 18, just so that I could escape it.

Maybe this incident could be the thing that forces volunteers to have training about what is inappropriate to do with children, including religious discussions.

"But not the God parts". What does that mean? It sounds like the material was about intelligent design. What was in the pamphlet that WASN'T the God parts"?

or have one of program directors speak for you.

To whom it may concern,

I would like to take this opportunity to set some guidelines for the volunteers concerning religious proselytizing. When parents sign their children up for programs that are not affiliated with a religious program or organization there is the understanding that the programs would be free of religious teachings. However it has come to our attention that some volunteers are using this time as an opportunity to introduce children to religious materials and instruction without the parents knowledge or consent. While we appreciate that you take the time to volunteer, please know that it is inappropriate to use this time and access to the children for missionary efforts.

I’m sure you would understand if someone attempted to introduce and convert young members of your faimly to another faith when you thought they were being tutored in math or English. I trust that going forward you will respect and use this time for it’s intend purpose.