My temple wed former RM, ex Bishop husband:-

"I want out of this marriage because as a wife and mother you are mediocre at best, and I deserve the best!"

“Having been commissioned of Jesus Christ, I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen”

Can't top that.

It's what I WASN'T told by anyone.

Funny, they'll give you a name and a blessing, but never the benefit of the doubt.

Fluhist! Wow, what a douche bag. You're well rid of that jerk.

There are barely enough words in dictionary to respond to your former tormentor's cruelty, but no matter because self-righteous sacksofshite seldom engage their ears anyway.

We can only hope he finally got the spouse he really, truly deserves.

The cruelest words said to me were truly well intended but astonishingly insensitive to the ocassion. Grieving the loss of my newborn, beautiful 23" long son, the bishop looked at me and said, "well, he got a body!" And then he sat there with an incredibly satisified look on his face as if he were providing comfort worthy of Christ Himself. I was stunned. He absolutely could not connect with my personal sense of loss. The look on his face suggested grieving for your child was some sort of personal failing or spiritual weakness.

Families to TSSC are nothing more than descending lines of control and authority and never about the emotional connections that are the real source of family strength.


Family first my arse!

Said to me: "Unworthy people are not allowed at marriage ceremonies - even if the bride is their daughter."

Said to my DD1 by a young TBM breaking a date with her because he found out she wasn't Mormon: "I just assumed you are Mormon because you are so nice."

Said to my DD! by a RM she had dated previous to his mission: "I can't date you now because I am an RM and I can do better than a convert wife."

Said to my DD2 by a school friend: "My mom says that if you aren't going to convert I shouldn't waste my time being your friend."

Said to my DS: "Not going on a mission? Why that's just evil."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/19/2013 12:47PM by caedmon.

"I'm very disappointed in you. You should be ashamed that you don't want to serve a mission."

"I've noticed you quit attending church. So who offended you? Was it me?"

Said by my former Stake President: "If I had known that you were guilty of that offense, I would have taken action against your membership."

That is sooo far beyond F'ked up!!...

Ron Burr

Said by an uber-TBM woman who I had considered a friend, a week after the death of my mother:

"Don't you feel any sense of responsibility for your mother's suicide? You know what's happening to her right now, don't you? How could you not see the signs?"

Her own mother died of a heart attack about six months later, and when I expressed my sympathies to her she said, "Well, I comfort myself with the knowledge that I did all I could for my mother. You have no such comfort, do you?"

Then she wondered for the next several years why I no longer contacted her.

About a string of cuss words just ran through my mind just now. On behalf of humanity, I'm so sorry about your "friend."

I'm sorry for your loss. I know that sympathy from a total stranger isn't all that meaningful, but I do feel sorry for your mother's death and for your "friend's" reaction.

Wow! I'm sorry for the cluelessness of your "friend"--what an idiot!

Well, stbleaving, at least you won't spend the rest of your life with a missing heart.

This epic insensitive statement takes the cake.

I am sorry for your loss. I think of my mother every single day and dream about her a couple of times a week. If there is an afterlife, I'm sure your mom is spending it hiding that woman's car keys...

Hugs

Anagrammy

From my TBM husband, after first telling me that I no longer have a moral compass: "I just can't love you if you're not Mormon."

but but but... it's such a Christ-like religion!! [eye-roll]

I got called into to the bishop's office; I thought it was for a new calling.

Instead, he accused me of having an affair based on comments from someone else. I wasn't, and I denied it. He didn't believe me.

His comment: "Well, as your bishop, I have done what was required of me. Now it's between you and the Lord."

WhateverTF that means. I gained a testimony that day of the discernment impotency suffered by church leaders. I've never been "interviewed" by a church leader since then. In fact, the tables are turned.

Being I don't live in Utah.. I always get the saying:

"well, that's just not how we do it in Zion"

or

"Things must be different here in the mission field"

Bishop: You are not paying enough tithing.
Stake Pres: Bring in your paycheck stubs and we will tell you how much you should pay.

Stake Pres: When you travel out of town to visit your parents (3 hours away), you will attend your meetings, and report back to me the name of the bishop of the ward you attended. We will confirm with that bishop IF you in fact attended.

Stake Pres: Your employment (CES) is conditioned on whether or not you pay a FULL tithing, and attend your meetings. I'm sure we can clear this all up in a couple of months.

If you're the fellow who did the lying for the lord lecture at an exmo conference, I'll have you know i really enjoyed watching it. I've recommended it to several people.

At BYU, a TBM of the male persuasion said, "You are 21, single, not going on a mission and pursuing a professional degree. What is wrong with you?"

In my YSA ward, I was hosting some friends and one of the men told me that I was "stout". So because I was a size small/8 instead of siz xsmall/0, I was "stout". I have struggled with my weight my entire life and I was at a point where I was feeling really good about my physical appearance and taking good care of my body. I was constantly being hit on outside of TSCC. This comment really hit me and I knew that the likelihood of marrying a Mormon man-boy was close to nil. If a normal looking woman is not good enough for these douches, I didn't have a chance.

So glad to have found my husband who loves me for who I am and saw how beautiful I am. My husband was Mormon when we met and married. Fortunately, he was a convert and didn't have any warped sense of feminine beauty. I so lucked out with him!

My bishop told me: “Kolobian, it has been revealed to me that you will be one of the two witnesses who will be martyred in the streets of the holy city as foretold by John the Beloved.”

That was pretty messed up..

My stuck-up TBM SIL went around telling people at my jack-mo SIL's funeral that "she was allowed to be murdered because she was leading her children astray"

How did you not bitch slap that woman into the next county? You must have amazing self-discipline.

Why do they think ANYONE wants to be Mormon when they behave/think/act like that?

When I was 26 years old " So, You never married?" I did enjoy seeing this same guy not too long ago divorced and working the Wendy's drive thru, he used my maiden name, I corrected him and drove on.

When someone asked us how many kids we had and we said "2," he said "Well, that's a start."

Had a rotten BP.
When I mentioned I’d been a homemaking or second counselor in the RS he said with deepest sarcasm “Who’d ever call you to be a RS counselor???”

The worst however was when he YELLED at ME and said “WHY DON’T YOU MOVE OUT OF “MY” WARD?????!!!!!!!”


It wasn’t his ward, or his church, it was God’s church wasn’t it??????

It was my real start for the exit out of the TSCC and I had no idea at the time. Ten years later I was gone.


He had zero discernment by the way, no surprise.

I was begining to realize the TSCC was a lie because of him.

after caring for my 11 year five days at the Children's hospital in another county isolated after series of FRiday bone facial surgical bone biopsies- generating high fevers and child care-
so I finally have a tumor free child and I am gonna go to church-
note I attended weekly every meeting and night Relief Societies plus I visit taught until the time her tumor was found in mid August- that's HANFORD STAKE in HANFORD CALFORNIA
let's talk 'christian'
let's talk 'christian service'
let's talk "JESUS"

HANFORD CALIFORNIA EAST SIDE WARD HANFORD- rejecting unwelcoming unsupporting a child with a tumor- rejecting and unsupporting unwelcoming a child's mother after spending weeks on the road following achild's facial tumor- HANFORD CALIFORNIA
that would be HANFORD STAKE HANFORD WARD great lds people there-

you read about people doing fund raising in real life helping families when their children have tumors and you read in the news papers about churchs helping their member's children when they have tumors- NOT IN HANFORD STAKE HANFORD WARD *east side WARD HANFORD CALIFORNIA

lds saints in HANFORD CALIFORNIA meet mom's of children with tumors at the door and question their righteousness. in HANFORD WARD moms have to go to children's hospital on their last tank of gas and drink water and fast using their last pocket change when they are hungry and cannot afford hospital food for their week on the cancer ward-
because LDS women in HANFORD WARDs judge women who leave who are gone to the children's hosptial (oh its in another stake in another ward) and there is NO LDS support for members traveling across the valley over an hour from home in a strange ward-

and, then, when you finally return home- in HANFORD CALIFORNIA- that is what you get.

this was before the internet. This was before everyone had cell phone.

LET"S talk about friendliness one town from the Lemoore naval air station in HANFORD CALI east side WARD- and let's talk about supporting women whose children have tumors. PUT IT UP THERE FOR old Hanford California WARDS in the Hanford State-
where I was born & raised my original stake- but I unfortunately stupidly moved- into HANFORD itself and was LDS IN HANFORD california not a loving country branch which raised me.

some lady meets me in the foyer and say, "oh its nice to have our inactives come back"



SLAM
that's what Hanford california wards are all about. OH and the woman who said on the driveway, your daughter has a tumor because she's mixed. Mixing races gives tumors. (guess she hasn't lived long in Portugeese or Italian community enough to recognize a wopagee when she see it.)

LET's PUt it out there for Hanford California mormons- and let's put it out there for women in the HANFORD ward meeting the mom of a child with a tumor and saying, "I WONDER WHAT SHE DID WRONG IN THE PREXISTENCE"

Offer it up for the Hanford Stake they got it going on- this was 17 years ago

BEAT THAT it was the entire ward culture- it was repeated rude racist judgemental commentary the entire year of my child's tumor in the HANFORD WARD on the east side of town. possibly got worse when a female (whose 2nd grader used the n- word repeatedly in primary in the west side ward) moved into that ward- possibly or perhaps she brought that culture with her. Make me want to the hell avoid daughters of the Utah Pioneer meetings completely.

Hanford California- put it out there. Hell of a horrible place to have a tumor child. Hell of a horrible place to be LDS. The water stinks the judgement towards my husband & myself as couple with a little girl with a tumor tells it all- 17, 16 years ago - carefully wearing our garments, not drinking coffee, excluding our family from the entire Non LDS community to be rudely greeted and rudely treated- and treated in a non christian way the year my daughter had her tumor by Hanford Women Ward Members in Hanford CAlifornia.

Every time I Read a news article of a church's loving support, raising money, helping a child, see people fund raising for a child with cancer- so they can go to treatment- I recall the horrible women's statements and their unfriendliness in that Hanford california ward.

I didn't think it was the church- but left me wondering how could christians- they weren't good c hristians. Received more love returning to work from colleagues in a secular enviornment, among pagans, atheists, catholics, and even some swingers in open marraiges the year my child had a tumor- than I did in my Hanford California ward. So, not thinking it was the dogma or a doctrine created belief pattern,

I built a house and moved into another ward in another town. & I was happier there until it melted down (14 or 16 divorces out of 34 temple married couples in one school year BIG families- confused children everywhere- apparently they'd all gone to group therapy together and, uh, it got out of hand. Visalia 1st ward- like walking through a hostile therapy session walking through the halls so many hostile couples staring crying walking by- I stayed home initially to be safe. ) They changed the ward boundary lines and reconstructed that ward yay

but after that, I thought, hey I am not going that- its dangeorus there.

then I found the internet. & here I am

in weekly day books, as well as copious journal writing through the entire year, in the hospital, verbatim incidents, both on the phone as well as in the halls- with both the HMO (california care) that denied coverage of my 11 year old's goose egg size mass on her jaw as "a non pediatric diagnostic code"

and California Care's phone calls telling us to cancell the surgery to save our child's face, (aggressive tumor growing 1 inch per week in every direction) demanding we wait three months for a committee meeting to consider her case.

and the children's hospital proceeding with the surgery after my husband and I signed away our home, putting a lein on the home and accepting full cost of the surgery to have it proceed.

I have journals, date book, names, conversations, all logged.
The HMO run around getting the tumor removed forced, forced me to log everything all year long. The relief society president was very kind. The ward harridans or hags statements in the halls, after and before meetings, were not- ward culture was full, filled with hate judgment, possibly fear why else would someone say such things about a child's tumor anywhere?

Christian? I know not now.

When I stopped attending my best friend and neighbor said,"I'm only friends with people who go to church."
When my questions in SS and RS -(about women doing priesthood healings in the early days of the church, about failed prophecies in the D&C and other problems) were reported to the bishop, instead of answering my questions he told me my questions were causing contention and I should stop reading anti-mormon books.

That I was Satan. Not just influenced by Satan, but actual Satan.

Not so bad actually, and perhaps a point of pride.

I went to the bishop to "repent" of a sexual "sin" with my fiance (at the nagging of my TBM sister I was living with). He told me I had to postpone my wedding, which I did. I went back to him a few times after that, he said things that made me uncomfortable, like it was mostly my fault for the "sin" since I was a woman and needed to be more responable since I should be able to control my sexual desires better than a man... and that men even have physical pain if they are turned on and not sexually relieved.

I stopped going to him, and went to the single's ward (where my records were), and the bishop was much better. He agreed to keep the date postponned, but didn't make me feel weird like the other bishop, so I went to him instead of my sister's bishop.. which she took offense to.

I told her why that bishop made me uncomfortable, and she didn't believe her bishop would say any thing like that, and I was making it up. Her bishop later contacted her to ask why I wasn't going to him any more and denied even letting me get married on the date HE approved of.

Of course my sister believed that effing bishop over me.

I moved out of her place, and went to ANOTHER bishop, who told me I was fine to get married. TBM sister kept making drama over it, and told me she didn't think I was "temple worthy" and she didn't want to come if I wasn't "worthy" and making a mockery of the temple, blah, blah (continue mormon talking out of her ass).

I have a lot of patience, but finally told her not to come then, I don't want you there if you're acting this way! She shut up after that.

God. Mormons and their huge noses. I also know she wasn't as "worthy" as she made herself out to be.

you'll love your sisters so much, you won't mind sharing."

Imagine that in the little-girliest, sickly-sweetest imaginable voice of a bishop's wife teaching an adult Sunday School class. It was her reply when I raised my hand and asked if a man can be sealed to another woman after his first wife dies, doesn't that mean polygamy is practiced in heaven.

I think it was a Gospel Doctrine class. I don't remember why I was there or exactly how old I was--I think about 16, maybe 17. I was the youngest person in the class.

What she said doesn't sound that bad, but it was a putdown given her position and what she probably knew about me--she had even snitched on me herself once, for smoking. I believe she meant to shut me up, at least.

It was super awkward. Everyone just kind of stared at me, and I sat there and thought, "Yeah, right, I won't mind sharing."

I see her on Facebook, and she looks EXACTLY THE SAME, even though it's been 35 years and she's like 65 now, and her simpy smile makes me wanna kick her ass.

:)



Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 07/19/2013 01:10PM by munchybotaz.

I just stalked her page, and she has a new hairdo! So she no longer looks exactly the same.

My 17-year-old son had been admitted to the hospital for double neumothorax and was facing a second surgery to remove part of his lung. My 14-year-old daughter was fighting us to join the cult and had dissapeared from the house. After 3 or 4 hours of frantically searching for her, calling all of her mormon friends and getting no answers, I finally got a tip she was at a local kid's house. I went over, saw her bike out front, put it in the back of my pickup, and knocked on the door. The kid answered, freaked out when he saw me, and took off into the house. Then his daddy showed up at the door. He plastered this huge smile on his face and invited me in. I refused, tersely explained I had a child in the hospital, and said:

"I need my daughter RIGHT NOW."

I repeated this phrase no less than 30 times, while my daughter, who had come to the foyer, remained BEHIND HIM, just out of my reach. He continued to try to negotiate with me about my own daughter. I continued to demand he send her out.

I did not call the police - I needed to get to the hospital and I did not have time to wait for the cops, and the questions, and the whole hoopla. I just needed my daughter.

Now for the offensive statements:

-He hinted around that I was abusing her physically. He then offered to invite me into his home, where I assume he would have used his magic priestly powers to talk me out of being a physical abuser. A real man that thought I was beating my kid would have reported me.

- He repeatedly refused to hand over my daughter, in spite of my firm demand, that did not waver: "I need my daugter RIGHT NOW".

- At one point he actually said to me "I think it would be so much more powerful if we both invited her to obey you". Invited? Last I checked, invitations can be refused. In addition, I have complete authority over my own child. I do not need his authority, permission, or invitation. My kids mind me. Period.

- The crown jewel: After at least the 30th time telling him "I need my daughter RIGHT NOW", he lost his temper and told me:

"Now, you are speaking to ME like I am your daughter, and that is unacceptable and needs to stop."

At this point, I reached for my phone and began to dial the police. He whispered in her ear and she reluctantly followed me out.

Guess I should have remembered sooner that he was running for public office and a police report for kidnapping would be hard to explain.