So the Big Change in the 2010s Temple Ceremony Change is that Eve cries. And Adam does too.

Crying is a big deal among Mormon men nowadays.

Has it always been? I grew up in the 70s/80s, in Minnesota. Minnesotans are kinda emotionally repressed to begin with, and the male leadership I saw at the pulpit was mostly Minnesotans who converted as adults.

The only recollection I have of a dude crying at the pulpit was at my missionary farewell. The bishopric guy conducting had been my young men leader, had given me rides to church events the year or two he'd lived in the state, and he was a barn and bred Utahn. & he got a little emotional when he was closing the meeting. & apologized, saying he didn't think he'd get emotional about it.

That was 1986. Of course, dudes could have dripped the occasional tear along the way, like him, but I happened to remember what happened that day 'cause I was sitting on the stand. Edit -- and -- he said he was CRYING ABOUT ME. I don't think any guy had ever cried over me before. Possibly none have ever since.

I don't care one bit about crying, but there's something kinda creepy about it. I want to say Ritual Crying came into vogue about the same time that Fun was retired as a church activity. Like they replaced Road Shows and church softball tournaments with crying at the pulpit.

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So, when did guys start crying at the pulpit? Were they doing it when you were a kid? Did the GAs cry at conference when you were a kid?

If you don't mind, share a few anecdotes and note which decade they happened in.

Cheers,
RG



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/02/2013 07:21PM by reinventinggrace.

When I think of LDS men crying, I think of Glenn Beck.

or maybe that was mostly at the piano

I work with a few mormons and one of them started crying in the middle of the work day around the 4th of July while talking about the sacrifice of United States soldiers. It was ridiculous. He was doing that fake muttering they like to do right before their eyes well up with tears. Then he finished the routine by looking down at the ground longingly for maximum impact.

I saw a few guys cry in church growing up. Especially the ones that moved in from Utah. A good crier can move up quickly in the mormon religion. Where I'm from, however, men don't cry. In fact, emotion was weakness. It's not a good thing as the suicide rate is extremely high among men there but that's the way it is in those rocky mountain towns built by cowboys and coal miners.

I went to visit my nonmo friends who lived in the Seattle area. One of them went to F&T meeting with me. Yes, I was trying to convert them. I only in all my life played missionary with 3 people--and I'm so glad none ever joined.

Anyway--about the 3rd or 4th person who stood up in F&T meeting was a guy who started to cry. He got sobbing so hard, he snorted REALLY LOUD. My friend and I couldn't stop laughing. I mean--we were visitors and all--and we just couldn't stop laughing. We finally had to get up and leave.

So--it has been going on a long time.

I wouldn't be a bit surprised if there wasn't a general directive that men need to appear more spiritual.
Women are said to be so much more spiritually minded than men, and convincingly show their amazing strength of spirit by crying at the exact keyword or phrase at the pulpit.
Since men aren't as likely to show their weaknesses by shedding a tear, Eyring has shown by example the correct manner in which men should cry.

Think Jimmy Swaggart. Not Mo but just as dopey.

Glen Beck milks it for everything it is worth, however, I do not think he is a teardrop in the bucket compared to House Speaker John "raging" Boner.

It seemed like to me that the manlier the man the harder he cried at the pulpit.

In my experience crying gives credibility to the idea you are proposing. Since the idea is only known to be true in a spiritual sense, crying further strengthens this position as it is an emotional response.

The Book of Mormon proposition is ridiculous, but when a bishop is at the pulpit fighting back tears it puts on a good show. At the very least he has all the visible signs of someone who really believes that Moroni planted the Book of Mormon to be found by Joseph the Martyr. Whether it is done consciously or as a subconscious emotional response it helps quell cognitive dissonance - would a thoughtful person believe in magic underwear? No. Therefore all the more reason to be in awe of the temple, garments, BoM, etc. No sane person would jump on board knowing all the facts, yet sane people find themselves in the temple, at the pulpit bearing testimony, knocking doors etc. Crying helps soothe their raging pysche. "Look, the BofM is amazing, I'm crying about it. It must be true."

Long history of emotional displays.

Just as you get to the really dramatic sacrifice in your story; you pause, you're obviously too overcome with emotion to speak, you try to say it but your voice cracks with emotion, you take a breath, then with a warbling voice (indicating you're about to lose it) you say the whole dramatic climax quickly. Another pause as you get yourself under control. Your silence allows the audience to sit in hushed silence. It's so damn dramatic. So effin' sincere.

Just sayin' there's a cadence, a routine to it.

Just like channeling previous lives, UFO's, speaking in tongues and visions these things go in waves and feed on each other. When you witness others doing it, you are moved to have the same experience. IMHO.



Edited 5 time(s). Last edit at 08/02/2013 09:48PM by crom.

UT Valley BIC in the 80's. I saw several do it. Happened often enough I didn't find it weird.

77 years old. No early memories of men crying

Do you think John Boehner is a Mormon? I've never seen anyone cry more than him.

I so wish that John 'Raging' Boner was a mormon. My guess is that since he is a chain smoker, he might not be.

Tug, tug tug at those heartstrings! It's all about feelings, not rationality.

I grew up amongst crying Mo-men (born in the 70s). The only church leader I knew who didn't have a boo-hoo at the pulpit at least seasonally was my dad. Maybe that's why he was excommunicated.

No tears, but my dad always did the choked up act.

One of my first problems with the church was the difference in behavior there and at home.

I recall a F&T meeting in which my dad told everyone, with trembling voice, how much he loved his family.

Then we piled in the car and he and mom started fighting immediately.

Kind of confusing for a 15 year old.

So my did DAD have another family on the side!

Just kidding...but seriously, they sound so similar! Mine would get up there and his voice would change into that creepy cadence where they pause and hold their first finger and thumb together like they're pinching something and they stop and re-iterate their point over and over again like its something you're supposed to memorize. He would always say something about how he was so grateful for the love of his wonderful wife and his beautiful daughters.

Then at home he would tell my mom she's getting fat and tell us he was embarrassed of us... Yeah, a real "winner". ::gag::

Don Badgley always has great stories of his LDS upbringing. I would interested on his take on this.

And a shout out to Spinal Tap fans.

Brother Of Jerry Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> And a shout out to Spinal Tap fans.


I know many mormons that like Big Bottoms.

When I told about my conversion from Mormonism to Christianity to my Pastor, I started crying. I don't think it was necessarily that I was touched by the Holy Ghost as much as I was just happy to finally be free of 43 years of oppression. I was crying tears of joy. So, yeah, I guess I'm a big p***y.

Trying to convince yourself of something like mormonism, that makes no sense to your rational thinking brain will bring on some emotions. Trying to lie is difficult and brings on all sorts of physical reactions like dilation of the pupils, increased heart rate, shortness of breath, and change in voice by constriction of the larynx.

That is the stuff that a lie detector picks up on when police question suspects.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/02/2013 08:37PM by upsidedown.

Current bishop in my ward cries at the drop of a hat. It's quite annoying.

We'd like to welcome xxx, yyy (pause, quiver) and zzz for visiting us (tears start) today. We know you'll enjoy (more tears) the spirit (chokes up more) that is here.

He even chokes up and tears up with a youth advancement announcement.

Complete cry baby. I mean who in their right mind does this???

Yep, I don't recall the men crying back when church was enjoyable, but you're right, they took it up en masse after all the fun was taken out of things.
I don't really blame anyone for crying when they are miserable, it's a fairly natural reaction, but as usual, mormons and some others have no sense of the appropriate circumstances to do so.

When was TSCC fun? I must have missed that.

We used to sluff primary and go play in the creek behind our ward house. That was most fun I had at Church.

A few years later I do remember 7th and 8th grade girls at MIA as being fairly interesting after the meeting.

Some of the dances were fun in the early 70s. Didn't last.

I had to fire someone today and I found myself making a fake cry and then I remembered that I didn't even cry when my babies were born. Though one time I successfully fake cried when I told my mom the church sucked and we wouldn't be going back; she was despondent and inconsolable. I cried when my wife was going to divorce me; I was chain smoking and got drunk and called up to tell her that I really could cry. I tried to cry on the stand when giving a talk once, I think that's part of the cult-like expressions of the church. It's very much a learned tendency in TSCC to cry as needed.

Fuck me

I think this is a learned behavior that ambitious church careerists learn. They see that it has an effect when people talk in Church and that the people who do it are seen as spiritual and progress up the Priesthood career track.

The first time I really experienced this was on my Mission, with an Elder who I believe was a zone leader at the time, who got himself invited to discussions with a baptismal challenge, he would break into the fake crying to seal the deal and manipulate the feelings of the victim.

Back in the apartment where 8 of us lived in a red-light district he was a foul mouthed, ass, it really pissed me off what a good actor he was, and how good he was at manipulating investigators and mission leaders. He works in Hollywood now as a movie exec and is totally inactive .

OK this dates me and I hate to admit it now, but after my mission I did (gag) for a while (barf) sell scriptures on casette. The crying thing reminds me of a guy ( Initials D.H.) who was the top salesman and trainer for "Living Scriptures inc.".

He would go into a home and at the same moment each presentation he could turn on the water works and clench the sale. It was amazing to watch and he was totally unashamed, although I am now for him.

Just recently some guy got up and did the old pause, catch in the throat and cry. He was giving a talk. It was the second week in July. They do it, but not as often as the ladies. Good grief.