Respect needs to be earned. It isn't a given.

Mormons have said I **must** respect them because they are mormons. Not true.

I don't require Mormons to respect me for being non-mo and they have no authority to say I *must* respect them, not their underwear, their temple rituals, or their idea that I am an unworthy human being.

The same is true of polygamists. No one must respect them. I don't think they are any better than other humans because they hook up with multiple spouses and teach their children they are better than normal people who have two parents.

I think polygamy is an extremist belief. Have some cultures done it through history? I don't care.

I think what adult do is their business unless they drag kids into it.

In my opinion, an adult can have sex with a different person every day as long as they're not producing children and thinking the kids will follow that example because it isn't a good one for the children or for society.

I grew up on a polygamy compound and had to work like crazy to rise above the bad upbringing. I did it but don't wish it on any young girl.

Don't tell me this difficult result is only because a few plyg groups are "extremist." No, polygamy in modern-day America is an extreme choice. Anyone who suffers in that environment has a hard recovery learning to live in a normal non-cult world. It's a worse recovery than for those who were mainstream mormons and we know that many exmos have died because recovery was an impossibility for them.

I very much respect your background and your opinions regarding the polygyny that exists in America, and I mostly agree. The way it's practiced here is extremely harmful and does not deserve in any way to be respected.

However (and I haven't been involved in any of the other threads really, but I've read the other comments), the argument that it's somehow wrong because it's "extreme" is problematic to me, simply because that same argument was used to keep slavery in place and to put down people who fell in love with someone of another race. Interracial marriage was described as "extremist" and as socially unacceptable for a very long time (in addition to being illegal). Women being allowed to vote--also once considered "extreme." Today, gay marriage is treated the same way by many people--it's not respectable, people don't need to flaunt it, it's extreme, etc. And now I've seen several people (on this board and elsewhere) use the argument that polygyny isn't "respectable" or that it's "extremist." So I think that the focus should be on the lack of merit within the actual practice, rather than simply calling it extreme or not respectable. To me, something being socially unacceptable means nothing. Civil rights for oppressed populations have always been socially unacceptable. And then people who practice this can just use these kinds of statements in their favor...oh, look, we're being "oppressed" and people think we're extreme, and it's religious persecution. And obviously that's not true, so I don't think it should be a factor in why polygyny is considered harmful. It just makes the people who practice it into martyrs.

+1

However extreme or not it is my HO that it is very oppressive, destructive, and creates very harmful environments for all involved....yes even the men. I have 0 respect for polygamy.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/03/2013 10:22PM by mandy.

Respect polygamists? Heck, no. I do not. The Mormon Fundamentalist kind I'm talking about. The ones who do it as a so-called religion, and who bring children into it. I don't care at all about consenting adults who enjoy a polygamist lifestyle.

Cheryl: "I grew up on a polygamy compound and had to work like crazy to rise above the bad upbringing. I did it but don't wish it on any young girl."

It's an incredible story you have, Cheryl, about your early life. As another poster said on a different thread today, it's great for us that you choose to tell us about your tough background. You did "work like crazy" to get out of it, and get it out of you, as you noted, and your experience gives us valuable insights.

I didn't get a chance to post on the other thread but I wanted to note that in talking to Debbie Palmer who grew up in Bountiful, British Columbia and at age 15 became the fifth wife of the leader at the time, the senior Mr. Blackmore (who was in his late 50s at the time of their "marriage"), she said that in her experience, polygamy was "all about sex" and many other women agreed with her. So it's apparent that the experiences in each group and among each family even can be vastly different.

I noted too that when I asked some of the women from the group that I met if they considered themselves to be Mormon, they answered "yes". To me, the doctrines and some of the practices, as well as the terminology, between the groups are indistinguishable.

I don't respect the male leaders of the religious fundamentalist kinds of polygamist groups, no. If they claim there is freedom of choice in their groups I don't believe them when it comes to the women and children and, as we know from firsthand accounts here, many of the young men too.

Thank you, Cheryl, for posting about your life experiences and your opinions about all things Mormon that help many of us gain insights about Mormonism in its several guises.