So the other day a couple of women from the YSA ward stopped by my house to talk to me. I stopped going to church over a year ago, but have not yet officially resigned. I also just recently graduated, which means that I am now considered to be part of this new ward. These women had come to get to know me and (more importantly) invite me to church.

Without inviting them inside, I explained simply that I am currently focusing on work so that I can save enough money to study marine biology at the University of Hawaii, and that I am not at all interested in going to church.

Despite my firmness, they gave me the address of their stake center, made sure I knew what time sacrament meeting started, informed me of who my home teachers are, and said that they looked forward to seeing me on Sunday.

Do they just not understand what "no" means?? What should I say to get the message across next time?

If they have another opportunity to confront you, just say "NO" again. During my years as a TBM, I had to say "No" about thirty times, for each demand. When they would come at me with another demand, I would say "No" thirty more times. I can tell you that I never had to clean the building, never had to go on Pioneer Trek, and neither did my children. They didn't have to go to a stupid church activity on a school night, or on a Saturday, or during family-time.

Now I've resigned, my "No" covers everything in the whole Mormon cult.

The secret is to never explain! Explanations and excuses open the discussion, and give the Mormons a chance to use their well-rehearsed rebuttals.

"No, I won't be going to your church."

Why? "Because I don't believe in Joseph Smith or your church."

But if you'll just come to church, read the BOM, pray, you will believe, bla-bla. "No, I prefer to study."

They never buy the excuses that you are busy, or sick, or your family needs you, or your education or career demands your attention. Nothing is a good reason, according to the Mormons, because, for them, the cult comes first.

If they ask other questions or make accusations, just repeat, "No, I'm not going to your church."

"No, I'm not going next week, either, or ever."

"I don't believe in your religion."

We joined the Lutheran church, when we left the Mormon cult, and my son has had great success with saying, "No, I'm Lutheran."

Speaking to them kindly and at length makes them hold out hope of dragging you back.

Sometimes they continue to hound people who say, "Not interested. Stop hounding me. Goodbye."

You could send a not or phone the bish, "Your followers are harassing me. Put a stop to it or I'll go to the police."

I did go to the police and file a report. It worked for years. Then I finally turned the hose on them when they wouldn't leave. That worked for still more years.

These weird religious nuts can be relentless if you don't firmly cut them off.

But remember, you used to be one of them ;) we're all just a little nutty

You're claiming I used to do these things?

No, I didn't. Never once.

I used to be this way...to a point. When I was in Young Women we each chose a "special" member to which to deliver a pie. The leaders never told us what "special" meant and, at the time, I assumed maybe they were sick or going through a rough time. I only found out after my visit that these people were inactive members we were trying to reactivate. Anyways, when I visited the member's apartment, I gave her the pie. She asked why I wanted to give her the pie...I responded with, "Because you're special!" Apparently that was enough to reactivate her because I saw her in Church the following Sunday.
As soon as I realized the church wasn't real, I deeply regretted reactivating this woman and her young daughters. I hope she wised up (again) and permanently left the church!

They don't need boundaries because they are on the Lords errand. They also have the scriptural directives that state you never know when one will repent and return, and that you will receive much joy if you are successful in bringing even one soul to Christ. And if you are the kind of person who doesn't like trouble, or worse, if you liked a lot of those members, it can be really hard to force boundaries upon them that they will abide.

I've found that the best defense is to speak frankly and honestly about church history, or point out important contradictions in their own teachings. Not only does it scare them, but once they return and report they will be cautioned against further contact.

You seem to think they were dropping in socially to check on you and your welfare. This was a sales call and they were assigned to reel you in.

They do not care for you personally. If they had not been told to visit you, they would not have bothered.

To test if they want to be friends with you, try inviting them to a non-LDS social event, even just a 1:1 lunch. They will not be bothered.

Now think of them as telemarketers, paid to get you to buy something but who could care less if you want or need it. Then you will see why they would not take a simple "no" for an answer.

Just stay committed to the word "NO"!. Like everyone has stated, an excuse will never work.

Bingo! What axeldc said.

Think of them as salespersons and say, "No," in the same manner that you would if they were trying to sell you 1,000 pens.

Next time they come by I would video tape their behavior and post it on U Tube. Then I would show the video tape to the Bishop and tell him if they visit again, You will go to the media to show how they harass people.

Offer them ice cream and invite them back to your home for some girl time fun and laughter on Sunday!

and coffee..

You said; they gave me the address of their stake center, made sure I knew what time sacrament meeting started, informed me of who my home teachers are,

Mistake right there. they gave you their address? which means you took / excepted it. that told them you would come someday and would except HT's as well. You should have no then and nor excepted the address or simply took it, tore it up and handed back to them with a very stern, NO!

It sounds as if they talked to you as if you made a commitment to go on Sunday, so that you'll go because you made a commitment (when you didn't). This tactic probably actually works for those who haven't fully nudged themselves out the door completely.

Less is more. Excuses just give them more to work with and more reasons to shoot down your reasons. Try to stick to as little information as possible. A simple "no" or "no thanks" is fine. This takes practice.

omreven Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It sounds as if they talked to you as if you made
> a commitment to go on Sunday, so that you'll go
> because you made a commitment (when you didn't).

Yeah and then they come back at you saying, "Missed you on Sunday! What happened?" Like you never said, "No," in the first place.

I've had that one happen to me before.

Thanks for the topic. I'm sort of going through the same situation now. After coming out to my bishop about my disbelief (that evening..) I got a call from the YSA secretary asking me if I was interested. In the next few weeks, I got a facebook messages from some youth friends now in YSA and a few calls from missionaries.
Anyways, I've noticed that if you leave any room for speculation with these people, they WILL follow up. I gave the missionaries an iffy answer ("I'll have to see") and they told me they would call back this week. However, I gave a direct yet polite "No, I'm not interested" reply to that facebook message and the person dropped the entire conversation. A little rude on their part as we were catching up with each other, but it got the job done I suppose.
These people (generally) aren't talking to you because they genuinely care. They've just been assigned to do it, one way or another.

Say "No, I'm a Jew/Catholic/Protestant/Atheist/Buddhist/Pagan/Satanist.

I recommend Satanist, simply because it will scare the hell out of them and make them not want to confront you again.

Why not take their sincerity at face value and simply assume they were being polite?

At my last job, we'd often go out to lunch together. It wasn't uncommon to ask someone if they wanted to go, they'd say no, we'd say, well, we're going to such-and-such in case you change your mind.

There's a difference between a job and a religious cult with indoctrinated people who usually don't really care, they are just assigned to make a contact.

What nonsense. Most Mormons aren't brain washed drones. Many do genuinely care about you. I believe all religions are bunk, but recognize that the world of full of good people who are sincere in their beliefs and try to life them.

As evidenced by the inside joke that the home teachers are calling, must be the end of the month?!?

Of course you are right to a point, but assigned friends and congregations are not for the edification of the membership, but for the ease and low cost of operations. They are also. Empowering to a cult to control attendance and associations.

Assigned friends are not friends.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/04/2013 09:12PM by gentlestrength.

Uh, most Mormons ARE brainwashed drones. And they don't CARE about you because they care - they are assigned to care, which is a big difference. If they really cared about YOU, they wouldn't care what religion you are - they could still be friends with you no matter what.

When I quit going to church, there were some people who stayed my friends, no matter what. They didn't talk church, an still wanted to socialize with me. That is caring. The rest is assigned and, I'm sorry to say, MOST members are only nice to be because someone assigns them to be. Actually, most completely ignore me unless they are assigned to be nice or want brownie points for their fake shows of friendship. And I'll bet if someone started a thread about programmed Mormon answers, you could come up with about any subject and predict what the Mormon would say in response. That IS brainwashing. Thought stopping like that is brainwashing.

That's why people don't respect Mormons - because they don't respond like normal people you invite to lunch. They respond like cultists who will jump on any opportunity to nab you.

Your attitude approaches nihilism. There are many Mormons who don't walk-the-walk. There are many who live their religion and genuinely try to help others and try to live within the artificial constructs of home and visiting teaching. And, there are many who are genuine. They are the real deal. I've known many, many of them. In fact, I've known far more genuine Mormons than not.

My experience also is that while people in general don't trust Mormonism as a religion, most who know Mormons trust them individually and have good things to say about them.

Makes me wonder how many ex-Mormons are just mindless drones, driven by hate and cynicism.

"Nihilism?" Seriously?

ni·hil·ism [ n ə lìzzəm ]

1.total rejection of social mores: the general rejection of established social conventions and beliefs, especially of morality and religion
2.belief that nothing is worthwhile: a belief that life is pointless and human values are worthless
3.disbelief in objective truth: the belief that there is no objective basis for truth

"Makes me wonder how many ex-Mormons are just mindless drones, driven by hate and cynicism."

Hey Jason, you sound a tad hysterical about criticism of what has all the hallmarks of an orchestrated re-activation attempt. Why? Can it because someone might be skeptical about what you have asserted, and after all, you have the authority, right?

That's because these gullible people don't know Mormonism well and assume the Mormons are trustworthy. Mormons usually aren't trustworthy when it comes to the ones out there trying to drag converts and inactives into the morg

Mormons sincerely want to change people and make them into Mormons because they think non-Mormons are defective and need to be fixed.

It is very important to not use the word "busy" when declining an offer. Busy implies priority and the person hearing this hears "buy-in", I would go if I had the time, but doesn't hear proper priorities which only means you will be identified for creating greater value for the object in your mind. Mormons see nothing more valuable than Church, so you are going to be pursued until you get real honest twitch them.

I like "I know Joseph Smith did not see God and Jesus and I know the Book of Mormon is a work of fiction. I do not want to be associated with an organization that believes in these things"

Would there be confusion at the reporting meeting on where I stand? If you are confused still, find your own words, but busy will never work, it just encourages, because it assumes buy in.

If you say you're busy, they'll offer to clean your house or something, so that you have time.

Say, "its awfully hot out today! Come on in! Can I get you a margarita or a cold beer?"

I know the feeling. I pretty much left the church by the time I graduated high school as well and the same thing happened to me. My records moved to the YSA branch and I started getting targeted.

First it was random people I didn't know bringing me baked goods. (Which I accepted, and they were delicious), then I started mysteriously running into Mormon people while I was at work (Though I worked in a public library so...probably just coincidence, but it still felt targeted..)

Old seminary teachers and the like who always made sure to drop a line like, "Oh do you know [insert mormon girl my age here]? She's really neat and talented, she's in the YSA branch, you should start going and get to know her!". Then the branch missionaries started showing up to give me lessons. It went away for awhile after I moved, but the harassment caught up again as my records magically got transferred to "my" new ward and as the people I grew up with began returning from their missions.

I suggest you remove your name from the records if possible. I haven't done so myself because I can't deal with the fallout with my family quite yet, but that's probably the closest you will get to a permanent solution to the badgering.