Date: August 09, 2013 12:25AM
The little lies kept adding up, year after year. Mormon lies didn't hold up to scientific evidence, to real evidence of happy Christian, Jewish, Atheist, multi-cultural families--much happier than my dysfunctional Mormon family. I experienced and observed what was going on around me, and the Mormon church was not what it claimed to be. Where were the promised blessings? I was good, yet I was abused. Where were the threats that my Mormon teachers used to frighten me? I had questions at a very early age.
Yes, there were the gut feelings, too. I did not feel "love" in my family or in the church building. The temple gave me the creepy feeling that I was in the presence of Evil. Church meetings made me feel depressed and hopeless.
Over the years, I witnessed a lot of changes in the Mormon religion. I saw it move farther and farther away from Christ. The Book of Mormon replaced my beloved Bible, as main scripture. I hated the D & C, especially D&C 132, and never did believe in it. I never did believe the Joseph Smith story (whichever one was being told at the time--I believed none of them.) The church changed from the liberal group in my university-combined ward in California, to BYU, to my conservative ward in Salt Lake City, where I finally realized that I was in a CULT.
It was a slow process. I had to admit that my illustrious church-leader-pioneer ancestors were nothing but randy polygamists. They were stupid to fall for their neighbor JS's idiotic cult, in the first place. THEY were the apostates.
Two final nails in the coffin: 1. The final blow was when my children had the courage to tell me that they were being abused by priesthood leaders. 2. I had been trying for years to find out what their ever-changing rules were regarding a temple divorce from a wife-beater, so my TBM husband and I could get married in the temple. Finally, I was told that my children, by my second husband, were, by the rules of the cult, sealed to my temple husband, as his property in the hereafter, along with two other women he had temple-married after me. Horribly upset by all of this, I explained to my hair stylist why I had been crying, and she said, "I just got a temple divorce, and it was no problem. My husband didn't have problems--we just didn't love each other, anymore. My father is a Stake President, and a close personal friend of GBH, but it still took us about a month to get the temple divorce."
I had been trying for 15 years.
I had heard that in the Mormon church "It is who you know." that counts. Even I understood that THIS IS NOT GOD'S WAY!
Bam--that Saturday morning, the children and I resigned together, and they cried as they thanked me for releasing them from what had been the biggest problem-causer in our lives.