As I mentioned, the wife of a local stake presidency member was getting thrashed and I was part of it. This morning I had this personal message from her:

While I disagree with you on theoloical issues, I treasure you as a dear friend. Thank you for being so careful in you words and for the thoughtful response. I had a mental relapse when I made my first comment to xxxxxxx. She and I have a long history of philosophical banter and I should have just sent her a personal message....I forgot how public FB can be and I was not looking for a public debate. I've done a lot of thinking today, your words have helped me be more sensitive to homosexuals....I thought I was sensitive, but there is always improvement. While I believe strongly in the afirmative for Pres. Packers words, I have not taken the time to think through the implications of people who struggle with the oppression (self imposed or victimization). I will do my part to find a balance in standing for what I believe concerning all of God's children.
Love ya brother....truly I do.

And this was my response:

You just made my day. Last night I told <My Wife> I was afraid I might have done something that could potentially mess up her relationship with you. She glared at me and said: "What did you do!?". I invited her to read the exchange but I don't know if she did. Thanks for recognizing my attempt at civility. I really prefer not to rock the boat too much.

This issue is something that's very close to me. I'm acquainted with at least two couples who years ago were counseled by their priesthood leaders to marry even though all parties knew the men were gay. In both cases the bride-to-be was given license to do whatever it took to "turn her man on" even before the wedding. There was to be no concern about worthiness to enter the temple because turning the men straight was a higher priority. Priesthood blessings were given and these men were promised in the name of the Lord that they would be turned straight as long as they were faithful etc.

In the years that have passed one marriage has ended in divorce but they are still friends. Neither has any interest in the church at this point. The other couple is still married but only staying together because they have 6 children. The wife has experienced significant self esteem issues as you can imagine. Her husband has no interest in a physical relationship with her and has to force himself to make it happen. Neither is happy as there is a significant hole in their marriage. The second couple remain in the church and they attend the temple, hold callings etc. etc. There is no doubt in my mind that they have done absolutely every thing they can do and still he is as gay as he ever was.

I'm convinced that "Gay" cannot be prayed away. I've seen first hand the kind of damage that is done to people when they are told that if they are still gay it's their own fault and if they don't change there is no hope for them and no place for them in the kingdom of God. This is why I think the church is on the wrong side of this issue. As more is learned and as the science is accepted I fully expect the church will change it's stance on the issue. When it does the members of the church will realize that President Packer was "only speaking as a man". It's the same attitude they take when the issue of the priesthood ban and racism is discussed today.

Rather than wait 10 or 15 years for the official announcement I'm simply suggesting that President Packer is only speaking as a man now when he expresses his obvious disdain for gay people. I don't know if I still believe in God or not, but if there is one, it seams like he would have room in his kingdom for all of His children. If not, then He isn't a God I'm willing to worship.

__________

Was I still nice? Do you think it will help?

Stunted

It sounds like whatever point you made that she has already responded to has sunk in on some level. You could have left it at that. "I will do my part to find a balance..."

That was perfect. I hope it makes her think.

Thank you. You were very eloquent.

It is so hard to be civil about such a hot topic. I think you did admirably well.

Beautiful. A civil and objective conversation. I almost forgot what those were like. Man do both sides of this coin need to learn from you.