10. Much better underwear.
9. No need to tie yourself to the bedposts (unless you're into that kind of thing).
8. There are actually seven days in a week! Who knew?
7. You can do good to others because you want to, not because you've been assigned to.
6. You can talk about people without using their middle initials.
5. You realize that morality isn't about sex.
4. You stop wondering if your 4 year old is dressing immodestly.
3. At some point, you don't even remember the guilt trips.
2. You don't have to pretend Joseph Smith was anything but a narcissistic fraud.
1. You don't need an institution to make you a good person. You can be good just by being yourself.

Guilt-free wanking.

X 10

sundays off and a 10 percent increase in pay.

These seem like good revisions or inclusions to runtu's list!

Technically, it's more like 11%

The freedom of time. Time to be with my wife. Time to be the kind of dad I want to be to my 4 kids. Time to have hobbies and interests that satisfy. Time to engage in meaningful civic volunteerism. Time to rest and calm myself. Time unto myself without obligations being dictated to me. TIME.

The only toilets I have to scrub are my own.

Pardon the naivete, but what's #9 referencing?

The pervasive evil of sleep masturbation.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/20/2013 12:40AM by jacob.

Boyd K Packer wrote up a pamphlet for male youth.
One of his tips for how to Not Masturbate was to tie your hand to the bed post. This pamphlet went out church wide for years. For all I know, they're still handing it out.

Mark E. Peterson actually.

http://www.moonmac.com/Mormon_masturbation.html

The only thing that even got mentioned regarding masturbation in my youth was the "Strength of Youth" pamphlet.

Don't think the tie-your-hand-to-a-bedpost strategy was mentioned there. Can't imagine how that advice would even work in the real world. Who the hell knows how to tie knots one-handed anyway?

And if you did, and then there was a fire...but at least you were not wanking it in your sleep when you died.

Can eat and drink what I want.
I choose my movies I watch.
no more VT's or HT's
No more interviews to see if i'm behaving myself.
No more strangers determining my righteousness.
No more assignments
No more make believe books determining if i'm good enough.
I can celebrate easter and Christmas if I want to.
No more mormon music in my head.
I get to decide where and how my funeral will be.
I'm having a real life. Not one with a bunch of fake rules made up by a string of fake prophets.
Just no more insanity.
I'm good enough. I'm creative, talented, and happy. None of that has anything to do with being Mormon.

"ick", once you are "out" for 5-10 years, you will wonder how you could have been "in"...

I don't have to pretend to like things I don't like, and pretend to not like the things do like.

For example, I like my gay friends. I don't like gossips.
I like Mozart, Beethoven, Metallica, etc. I don't like Mormon music. It seems that Mormonism is the opposite of everything beautiful and happy in the world. Think about it. Begin with the human body and great art.

No more pressure of being told you have to be perfect.
No more guilt for not praying or reading scriptures everyday.
Choice to read any translation of the Bible you choose to.
Attend any of the church services offered not an assigned time.
Able to wear pants to church.
Voluntarily donate to a church program or not.
No one prying into person business.
Members of new church Not just showing up on my doorstep.
Sleeping in on Sunday.
Actually being able to hear the church service without babies & toddlers screaming.
Knowing where my financial donations are going.
A restful Sunday.

I like being able to believe whatever scientific facts I want to, based on their merit, not based on whether they conflict with the scriptures.

I also like not having to believe in the existence of ghosts, gods, alien abductions, big foot, the lock ness monster or any other entity that is claimed to have been witnessed but leaves no verifiable evidence.

I find great comfort knowing that the laws of physics will always be observed, and that there are not "things beyond our understanding" that affect me on planet earth.

Licked cupcakes are actually pretty good. :P

All of the above reasons!

Plus,

No more Sunday depression.

No more despair and lack of self-esteem.

No more abuse!

Sundays are now spent with my children, instead of separated from them by different classes, different male-female meetings, different singles ward schedule, extra youth meetings, and all those musical rehearsals. We are a family again!

To me, it's about being free to think for yourself which is what your list says as well.

No more brainwashing. The truth really has made me free!

Satan and I can hang out and laugh at the holy ghost.