My story started some thirty plus years ago. As a child, my grandmother always forced us to go to church, especially Sunday School. As a foster-child my foster parents did the same thing. I decided that when I became eighteen years of age, I wasn’t going to go to church every Sunday, but every other Sunday. When I became eighteen, I held true to my word, I went to church every other Sunday. I managed that for a whole month.
Then one day, while on my way home from work, I was approached by two Latter Day Saints. A discussion broke out and we started talking about church. It was at that time that I realized that I haven’t been to church in over five years, totally unacceptable. So I started studying with the Missionaries. I knew absolutely nothing about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. But hey, look at the title, how bad could the church be?
Shortly after the studying, I joined the church. One day while sitting at work studying my scriptures, I was approached by a gentleman who noticed the Book of Mormon on my desk. He asked me if I was a Mormon, I answered ‘yes’. We became engaged in a conversation where he challenged me to do my homework and to discover for myself some of the things that Mormons believed in. I was young, I was stupid, and a challenged was on the table, of course I was going to take it. He asked me if I was serious about the taking the challenge, ‘yes’, so he goes in his briefcase and come out with a book. “Read this, and remember, do your own homework. The book was call, ‘Reasoning from the Scriptures with the Mormons ‘by Ron Rhodes and Marian Bodine.
What I read I couldn’t believe. The first thing that turned my world up-side-down was the fact that Mormons didn’t allow African/Americans (or Negros as their earlier literature like to call us) to hold the priesthood until 1978. I really thought that type of discrimination no longer existed in church. If that wasn’t bad enough, my jaw really dropped opened when I discovered the Curse of Cain. My first thought was that this book was full of fallacies. The whole time I was at the church, I have never heard of such a curse. I really contemplated putting the book down, but a challenge was a challenge and I was going to see it through.
I started asking questions about the Curse of Cain, and I was avoided like the plague. All anyone told me was to read my scriptures. I did read my scriptures, but what I couldn’t read was between the lines. What they believed wasn’t written down in black and white, well actually it was, and I just didn’t know where to look at the time. If I was wrong I what I believed, then why wouldn’t anyone give me a straight answer? Then one day I manage to corner an elder. There was no one there but he and I, and I wanted to know how come I couldn’t get a straight answer from anyone regarding this Curse of Cain. And that was when he told me, the Curse of Cain was the mark that God placed on Cain for the killing of his brother. The mark was carried by the ancestors of Cain to identify Cain’s descendants. That mark was the darkening of the skin, the thickening of the nose and lips, and that Cain’s descendants would be the last people to enter into Gods heaven. Considering the fact that I wanted to hit the man, I handled the situation quite well. I thanked him for being straight with me, turned around and went home. I couldn’t believe what I heard; I would be the last one to enter heaven because of the color of my skin. I should have left then, but I dragged my feet about it.
Then one day during Sunday Morning Service, God sent His Holy Spirit once again to get me to stop dragging my feet. I was sitting in Service and suddenly I realized that I was a fake, a phony. All the things that Mormons said that they didn’t believe in, I was doing. I was smoking cigarettes and even marijuana when no one was around. I was drinking Pepsi & Coke cola on a regular basses. And if you caught me on a good day, I would cuss you up on side and down the other. And every Sunday Morning I would show up with a smile on my face and pretend that everything was alright, and it wasn’t. I was actually socializing with a group of people who actually believed that God allowed discrimination in His church until 1978. And the thing that really made it so bad was that I was convinced that I wasn’t the only phony in church. I found it rather difficult to believe that everyone else in church had it right but me. No possible, I couldn’t accept it. The Holy Spirit let me stew over that one for awhile. But I continue to drag my feet.
Then on another occasion, during service, in pops the Holy Spirit again. This time He went up-stairs, turned on the light, and dusted off some of those old forgotten bible memory verses I learned as a child. And just like that my eyes where fully opened. I started noticing the church member who was giving her testimony on how and why she became a Mormon. I noticed that this woman was giving more glory and honor to Joseph Smith than she was Jesus Christ. And I remember thinking, this church is ill named, it shouldn’t be the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, but the Church of Joseph Smith of Latter Day Saints. Shortly thereafter, I picked up my feet and left the church.
That was over thirty plus years ago. All the homework that I’ve done, the notes that I’ve taken, and the journals that I kept, are in a box in my closet. Two days ago, my wife pulled my attention on an article of a Mormon woman who doesn’t believe that Mitt Romney’s spiritual beliefs had nothing to do with his ability to lead as The President. Being an African/American I didn’t see it that way so I personally addressed her issues. It was because of that and through happenstance that I came across this web site. My exit story is a little long and thirty some odd years late, but better late than never.
I titled this ‘Blessed’ because we were all in the Church, we were all delivered from the church, and for me, I didn’t suffer any after effects leaving the church as some of us did.