Someone just told me yesterday (as I was buying wine) "Jesus is calling you". I wanted to say something snappy, but I remembered myself as a faithful little Morm just trying to "spread the good news" so I just politely ended the conversation.
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I'm sorry for what you're dealing with. I've had chronic depression and anxiety all my life. Antidepressants and therapy have helped a lot, but it's still there under the surface. Are you in therapy? Any anti anxiety meds? I think TSCC works really hard to define ones identity so that they become dependent on it. Once I left, I finally began to really discover who I am and want to be. Some days
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Had to work today, which is still more enjoyable...and definitely more profitable than going to church for 4 hours!! Played with my toddler after work and then started to get things ready for my in-laws to get here tomorrow. Had a couple glasses of wine and now just relaxing! It's been a good day.
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SERIOUSLY!! That was the first thing that attracted me to my husband...he was a manly, type A man. It was so sexy to me and so foreign...of course he was not Mormon, so that explains it.
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I love this post. It's so inspiring to hear what others have been through and how they left. Here's my story in a nut shell :) I was BIC, TBM to the core. I lived in Utah all of my life and almost went on a mission after a few years of college and no husband. I just didn't feel right about it for some reason. Met my husband that next summer outside of Utah. He wasn't Mormon and we ended up falli
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Oh my God. I am so sorry that you have to deal with that. It's ridiculous. I am 30 and lived in Utah until I was 24. It has done wonders for my self esteem moving out of Utah and not being surrounded with all of that. I know how terrible the pressure was in high school and college in Utah, but I'm sure it's even worse once the botox, surgery expectations come into play. I suppose it wouldn't be r
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What a great correlation! I've often thought similar thoughts since leaving the church. I think an addiction is something that you turn to for comfort, something that temporarily detaches you from whatever the underlying pain/problem is. Maybe that was part of the ploy with the WOW. You can't have any kind of substance addiction, so you turn fully to TSCC to "feel good". When you do w
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I just have to say thank you so much for everyone who commented. It is just what I needed and a lot of wonderful support and advice. Thank you.
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Hi. I'm having a really hard time right now with my son. He's two and a half. I know that's typically a hard age, but I don't know if his behavior is abnormally difficult. I have a history of depression and anxiety and his behavior is really taking a toll on me. I am going to therapy and taking an antidepressant, so that's not really what I need advice on. Can any other parents give me some adv
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Great post, thanks!
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I love to see the temple, I'll go inside some day, I'll covenant with my father and promise to obey. For the temple is the house of God, a place of love and beauty I'll prepare myself while I am young, This is my sacred duty.
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I grew up TBM in Utah county and I had no earthly idea that it started before Brigham Young. I only found out prior to leaving TSCC when I was doing my research. They NEVER imply or talk about any of Joseph's wives, the only one you ever hear about is Emma.
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I think that I left TSCC just in time to realize that it was actually MY (and my husband's) decision as to how many children we want...which is 1. God forbid. I know that if I was still brainwashed we would be having at least 1-2 more out of duty.
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My therapist says that I have learned to detach from my emotions as a way of coping since childhood. I binge eat or drink or just spend too much money shopping. Tonight is one of those nights apparently-since I just ate a ton of crap. I gained 25 lbs. last year after leaving TSCC. Emotional baggage to say the least. I also started spending too much money, it's so compulsive. Anyway, what do you d
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Forcing your children into brainwashing that you understand to be false is unfair to your children. It's great that you had a relatively pain-free Mormon existence, but I think you are most likely the exception and not the rule. There are so many amazing people in the world who are not Mormon. We are military and have lived in six different states so far...trust me, your kids DO NOT have to be Mo
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Saw someone from my old ward yesterday at the grocery store. I walked in and instantly recognized them...they very obviously looked down to avoid eye contact. I shopped a bit and then headed to the front. This person was checking out and once again, very blatantly looked away to avoid looking into my evil eyes. So...I went in the line right behind them to make them squirm. Smiled and said hello w
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Jorsen, it breaks my heart when I read these posts, but I am drawn to them because it makes me feel like I'm not alone. I left a year ago in June. It was the hardest year of my life. If you're not in therapy, I would strongly suggest it. I also started an antidepressant which has helped tremendously. I never realized that I was chronically depressed, I just thought I felt bad because I needed to
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You are loved. It will get better. I was in your same position shortly after leaving and there was a lot of other heavy burdens I was facing at the same time. I have a son and I couldn't follow through with anything to hurt myself. One night I was laying in my closet, sobbing hysterically, praying to die. I couldn't see any light at the end of the tunnel. It was a very dark time. I see a ther
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Thanks everyone for your input, support and suggestions. It's comforting just to know that I'm not alone. I will try many of the suggestions on here. I have tried a lot of them in the past, without success. I have three different types of vibrators, have tried masturbating numerous times, watched porn, talked dirty, had drunken sex, ect. Not sure why I just can't overcome the emotional disconnect
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I was a TBM-to the core for my entire life. I got married at age 24 as a virgin...which in Utah County and Utah State University, that is OLD to get married. ANyway, I tried to be SO perfect all of the time in every aspect of my life and TSCC. For the first two years after getting married, I felt guilty whenever we had sex. On top of that, I can't and never have had the big O. I know it's a menta
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It's so sad to hear these stories and relationships. I have never been close to my mother. I know she tried her best, but she had 6 kids and had to deal with my dad. I didn't have a pleasant childhood and felt very alone. I've been married for 6 years and we only have one child. After months and months of contemplation, we have decided not to have any other children. We are both on anti-anxiety m
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Hey there. I have experienced very similar situations with my husband, especially early on in our marriage. We have been married for 6 years, together 8. I have had a lot of difficulties throughout my life and have been to multiple therapists. I finally got on antidepressants and it has made a world of difference for me. It has taken me a lot of therapy and meds to get to the point where I va
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Thank you all for the insight, advice and support, I really need it. I just found out that my husband is going out of town all of next week for work and I'm ecstatic...that's probably not a good sign. He just came home for lunch and we talked about it. He said he was sorry. It's confusing. I've told him quite a few times that I wanted marriage counseling. I also told him I was thinking about us s
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I grew up with an emotionally abusive father and extremely controlling mother, in a crazy-controlling church. So, now, being out of the church, I'm suddenly noticing how critical my husband can be. Maybe I'm too sensitive, maybe his criticism is warranted. He mostly complains about the house or my child not being clean enough or me not making money. We moved a year ago. Before we moved I had a gr
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