I'm so sorry for your loss. No words can minimize your pain, but know we are all here to support you.
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oh, I just realize you already sent it. Well, I guess you'll see what happens. I suspect you sent the equivalent of a request to be the new ward project. Hopefully I'm wrong and they'll leave you alone.
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If you feel the need to send something, send it. But I would issue this bit of advice. Emails like this without actionable content are useless and will result in an impact opposite from what you are going for. Since you included no actionable content, it reads like a cry for help, a cry for more fellowshipping, etc. My advice would be to include an actionable line, for instance: please do not cal
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My advice would have been the same. Cheating is an action taking by one member of the couple without regard for the other, and independent of the other. If it is the result of problems in the relationship, those problems need to be address and/or the person needs to leave. There is no reason to hurt someone by telling them that you picked someone else to screw, thus sending the message that your
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LOL! And if I stop, I'll be fat and sickly, right? If, in a few years, I pay for the time I was fat and sickly, will all the photos of me from that time change, and all illness be forgotten, my memories of that time replaced by the fit, healthy me? MORMON MAGIC!! It's amazing.
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This is true
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Oh, I don't know how financial aid works in Canada, so I am going to give you the advice I'd give to someone in this country, and you can adapt it to Canadian regulations and programs. In the US, you need your parents financial files and tax returns in order to get a financial aid determination. If your parents want you to go on a mission at 18 instead of college, I doubt they'd pony up their
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Good luck! Keep your head down and work really hard on future plans. Even if you can't get a scholarship, you can work, rent a room and hope to get enough aid to cover classes. Keep your sights on college, zone out at church, and all will be fine. Don't say anything or let on that you want to leave till you are in your post-high school program. Otherwise, you'll get harsher scrutiny and more pres
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I think it's on beliefnet ETA http://www.beliefnet.com/Entertainment/Quizzes/BeliefOMatic.aspx
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n/t
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If he wasn't paying tithing, then he wasn't receiving the "blessings" from being a full tithe payer. To request back-tithes would be to imply that he had those "blessings" on credit. It's like belonging to a gym. If I let my membership lapse, I can not continue to enjoy the benefits of the gym. If I return 2 years later, the gym would not say "you owe us for the 2 yea
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*VOMIT* Reading about ignorance like that makes me want to throw my computer against the wall.
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I'm guessing you're a Jr in HS. What do you plan doing after you graduate. The answer depends on that. Are yo college bound? Have college savings? Chance of scholarship?
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Withholding his unhappiness and desire for a healthy sexual relationship is a more apt comparison to leaving the church. That's taking control and taking ownership of the situation. If he wants to leave because of said unhappiness, again, that's a similar comparison. You can't compare disclosing his affair to the experience leaving the church. That's more similar to remaining in the church and
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Still have power in DC area (MD suburb)
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I disagree too. That's crazy.
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VERY good points. Makes me think of this poem: http://www.gratefulness.org/poetry/you_men.htm "For plain default of common sense, could any action be so as oneself to cloud the mirror, then complain that it's not clear?" * word that begins with q and rhymes with clear, has a derogatory meaning in modern usage, but this is an english translation of a spanish poem written in the
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I don't disagree, but why add insult to injury. End the marriage because he's not happy. Or tell her he's not happy, unhappy enough to leave, and see if she agrees to a realistic solution, or to separation. That is the kind option, it gives her some control, it lays out the issues and it's based on the reality of the relationship, a situation they both created. He's unhappy, that's the problem. J
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It's kind of ironic to insist that honesty, in this situation, is the best, most fair answer. There is only one outcome: the wife's pain. Wouldn't it be more practical if he manned up and decided to be honest about the root of the issue, not the side effect? If he has been unhappy for years in a romance/passion/sexless marriage, he's spent YEARS lying to her. Is that a good lie? To me, it's wo
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Some good points here. When you factor in the aging and bodies-as-we-age, telling her you had an affair with a 20 something will be soul destroying. It would be harder to swallow than telling her you had an affair with her knitting club friend who is her same age. Her self-esteem will NEVER recover from that. It's just another illustration of why age is a bigger factor in this story than it would
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Or, I don't know, GO TO THERAPY, then go to couples therapy and make an honest go at achieving a happy, healthy marriage out of respect for his wife. And if that doesn't work, leave. Maybe trying to repair the relationship is a more valid, kind and reasonable option than telling her. Or just up and leaving her.
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Well, I agree with the "choices should be hers not his" in general. People need all the information available to make the right choices for themselves. But I think there's a bit of a spectrum. Whenever someone posts about wanting to divorce their spouse, but not wanting to tell them yet, waiting for blah, blah, blah, and then they'll tell them, my first instinct is that it is absolutely
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A woman in her 60s does not have the same prospects as a younger woman, first of all. Second of all, we have no idea what their financial situation is like. As I commented in the other thread, my mother divorced at nearly 60 and it's been rough. It's been rough financially. She will have to work for the rest of her life. Fortunately, she had a job, not a good one, but still, before the divorce. W
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BACK TITHING?????? That is absolutely not cult-like at all. The bible has strict rules about predatory lending and debt. OT God and NT God/Jesus would not EVER stand for that. Unreal, collections for tithing. Sick, sick, sick.
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Glad he's in good spirits. What a great guy for getting out and helping his community. Thanks for sharing.
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Just my opinion, but if he did this 30 years ago, then that's one thing. It is absolutely impossible to not factor age into this now.
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But who does it benefit to tell her? Her, or him? As I said before, I used to think I'd want to know, till I was cheated on. No relationship was ever the same after that. i was not the same. Have you been cheated on? I don't mean that in a snarky way, Just curious if you've been on that side of it. As for things being able to be worked out in therapy, the pain won't go away. The issues won't
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Things are starting to get wet and windy in the DC area.
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Telling her just punishes her, it adds insult to injury. She will never be the same. He will have a clear conscience and be ready to move on, and she will be the one who, for the rest of her life, will live with trust issues, inferiority issues and all sorts of pain. If they were in their 20s with no kids, or very young kids, and she'd have a good chance to make a new life for herself and fin
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You don't need me to tell you it was wrong, you're already drowning in guilt. Don't have sex with your wife till you are 100% checked out and safe. MOST IMPORTANT: DO NOT TELL YOUR WIFE. DO NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It would be the most selfish thing you could do. Maybe telling her would relieve you of your guilt, but living with the guilt is your problem. Your wife does not deserve to be dest
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