Recovery Board  : RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 

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9 years ago
braindead
There is a big difference between a man stating that he "wants to take care of" a woman, and a man that presumes he has the right to "dictate or coerce" every decision a woman makes. To "take care of" in man language is often synonymous with love, protect, and support (as in supporting children/family). It is sad that you automatically reject these beautiful gifts f
Forum: Recovery Board
9 years ago
braindead
Here you go. http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/name/Margaret_Thompson_MSW,LCSW_Salt+Lake+City_Utah_34700
Forum: Recovery Board
9 years ago
braindead
My spouse and I were at odds (he was the TBM one) for over ten years. At times, I felt that it wouldn't matter if I died except for the children... just as often, I wanted my spouse to die. Luckily, neither happened and he eventually left Mormonism, as did our children. Our marriage is wonderful now, better now than it has ever been! I wish we didn't have to go through the years of frustration a
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9 years ago
braindead
That happened to my children. I was very careful to stay with them in public because the tourists always wanted pictures of them, I'm assuming because they had never really seen snow blonde hair before. My DH and I would always pose with the kids as a family group, but would never let people touch them.
Forum: Recovery Board
9 years ago
braindead
After concluding through Michael Quinn's books that TSCC was a sham, I went to the Tanner's Utah Lighthouse Ministries to get the rest of the story. Their help in deprogramming the brainwashing was invaluable as they are very dedicated and thorough researchers. I will forever be grateful.
Forum: Recovery Board
9 years ago
braindead
My DH went to a "No More Mr. Nice Guy" support group for a few months to help him make positive changes from his passive aggressive behaviors. While I feel there is beneficial information in the book, he somehow got the impression that he just needed to be plain aggressive, and in the processes lost the loving qualities of his personality. It took professional therapy for him to find th
Forum: Recovery Board
9 years ago
braindead
I agree with imaworkinonit. Do not enable their indulgent lifestyle. Make them stay independent as long as possible. Is their house at least paid for? If so, they should be able to live independently and comfortably for many years on SS. My mother and her husband are in their mid 80s and are still living independently on SS. Assuming your parents paid tithing on their gross income all those ye
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9 years ago
braindead
A Pastafarian is a member of The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster! lol http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster
Forum: Recovery Board
9 years ago
braindead
For ten years I easily hid from my parents, and from my DH's parents, the fact that I had left the church altogether. The shit hit the fan when my daughter put together a My Space profile for me and posted my religion as a Pastafarian. lol
Forum: Recovery Board
9 years ago
braindead
As a wife of a man much like the way you describe yourself I will share a few things that I believed saved our marriage. When my DH finally followed me out of Mormonism I expected the dynamic in our marriage to change. Our power balance was also completely skewed in his favor. He made an effort to change his sense of patriarchal privledge - what he knows call "patriarchal arrogance" -
Forum: Recovery Board
9 years ago
braindead
Yeah, but then what about the husband up in heaven? If she cancels the sealing to her eternal love just because he died, he loses his wife and his son for eternity. Nothing he can do about it! It goes round and round and everyone loses.
Forum: Recovery Board
9 years ago
braindead
I was an exmo a decade before my DH left. About two years after he left he started talking about getting a tattoo. For a number of reasons, I don't particularly like them and expressed my opinion. Two years later we moved to Hawaii, where he had grown up, and I commented on how cool some of the Polynesian tribal tattoos look. Before I knew it, he was showing me Polynesian tattoo designs and st
Forum: Recovery Board
9 years ago
braindead
Yes, when we met, it seemed as though we had known each other for forever. We have been together for many, many years. I do believe we have other types of soulmates, some could become spouses, but are probably more suited as bonded friends.
Forum: Recovery Board
9 years ago
braindead
You are 29 years old and live in Germany. You left the church after your mission. You started an online relationship with an active missionary in California, and helped him leave his mission. The ex-missionary, age 22, is now your boyfriend, he lives with you in Germany. You both consider yourselves ex-mormons, drinking etc.. but for some reason you keep attending church. Now, the
Forum: Recovery Board
9 years ago
braindead
As a young mother of four (all under the age of six), I was called by the SP to be the Regional Public Relations Director. The "job", because that's what it was, required that I attend weekly regional meetings that were run like Multi-Level Marketing pep rallys. Each week the stake PRDs came away with a litany of assignments for the week which included monitoring local media - newspaper
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9 years ago
braindead
Most cultures and religions around the world, from ancient times into modern times, have a Chosen People/Promised Land mythology.
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9 years ago
braindead
We spent the morning lounging on our deck, eating breakfast. We spent the afternoon watching movies. Then we had dinner at a fabulous restaurant overlooking waterfalls, and later walked across to the gorgeous beach to watch nature's fireworks, a spectacular Hawaiian sunset! Followed up with the best fireworks show we have ever seen! It was a perfect day!
Forum: Recovery Board
9 years ago
braindead
I agree with you, elciz. It is my understanding that JS did not support any of his wives other than Emma, and the foster children and house maids he raped while they lived in his home. Why should he support the 11 when they had husbands to do that? Hales seems to be under the impression that if Joseph didn't sleep with all the women that much, then somehow that makes plural marriage more legiti
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9 years ago
braindead
Yes, Greyfort, the old paradigm of 'Bow your head and say yes' no longer suited Tal's wife. Most women leaving Mormonism wake up to the fact that they have been treated poorly by the church, and often, by extension, they have been treated poorly for years by their husbands. Marriages that are already in crisis do not have much of a chance of surviving a foundational shift. Tal, of course, can
Forum: Recovery Board
9 years ago
braindead
Each year we grew a huge vegetable garden, about a 1/2 acre in size, harvesting most of it to the local food bank. This one missionary, Elder A, started coming by on a regular basis, with various junior companions in tow, to help in the vegetable garden. Our conversations were deep, meaningful, and full of respect for each other. Elder A. stated that he wanted the new missionaries to have the exp
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9 years ago
braindead
That's wonderful! Best of luck in the interview!
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9 years ago
braindead
83. n/t
n/t
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9 years ago
braindead
Thought-provoking! John Larsen on Mormon Expressions discussing the excommunication of Kate Kelly. http://mormonexpression.com/2014/06/30/episode-260-mormon-privilege-in-utah/
Forum: Recovery Board
9 years ago
braindead
Upon leaving TSCC, some, if not most, people are able to recognize that, in reality, they are just normal, nothing special people and they then adjust to a healthy level of self esteem. A true narcissist, however, will retain that grandiose sense of self importance and will develop new avenues to express their self importance to others.
Forum: Recovery Board
9 years ago
braindead
I'm not sure how prevalent NPD is in the LDS community, however, there was an uncontrolled study which indicated how prevalent passive-aggressive behaviors are in the LDS community. https://www.sunstonemagazine.com/passive-aggression-among-the-latter-day-saints/ Hmmm.. the NPD article states: "In order for a person to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) they mus
Forum: Recovery Board
9 years ago
braindead
There's a lot of war violence, and death..... no sex, which seems to bother TBMs more than violence.... go figure. It's a good action/adventure movie.
Forum: Recovery Board
9 years ago
braindead
I should not have started this thread without having the time to follow through on the comments. My apologies. Tal - In my opinion, your core argument - the efforts of OW grants validity to Mormonism when it does not merit any validity - is a fully pro-woman, even a pro-human, position. That is not the concern here. The points I submitted for your consideration had more to do with delivery
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9 years ago
braindead
89. n/t
n/t
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9 years ago
braindead
The last thread was closed. I have to get this started, but due to time constraints I will have to wait to add responses to all of your points in the other thread. Please take this as constructive criticism to consider as you review possible changes in your commentary to this and similar topics. Tal stated: "About being "condescending": (A) There are many adult women who g
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