Your key is "people who seem truly happy". Can people be truly happy in the church? Yes. I believe so. My family is happy in the church. I myself was born and raised Mormon and I would say that I was happy. My immediate family spouses, kids, etc. are all TBM. However, my family has always been "cafeteria Mormon" and while following the major teachings has disregarded those
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Since your wife believes your facts are only from the internet and are therefore false I'd keep it to the major deal breakers that CANNOT be denied. And, if I was trying to get someone else to realize the truth - I'd pick those items that would be the biggest problems for that person. I'd keep it to 10 problems or less. Yes there are a lot more than this, but you don't want to overwhelm your w
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Non-white underwear. I have quite a bit of beige but when you're wearing kinda sheer or light colored tops beige is a must. I do love colored undies and bras though. I'd like a tattoo but since I'll be stuck with it I want to make sure that I'm happy with it before getting anything. The current front runner is the symbol for infinity. I didn't change a lot of my personal style - except f
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Can you find some other charitable organization (either a church or other) that might be able to help? I know that when I was down and out I went to the church and they refused to help. I didn't look for help in other places because it felt like I had nowhere else to turn - this came from the weird mindset I still had then that somehow other organizations wouldn't be understanding. Later on
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I couldn't figure out how to explain but this post does it really well. Getting into a relaxed/aware state and then thinking peacefully about areas of concern. I agree that it's not about blanking your mind, but about getting past the self-chatter that we all have at the top of our minds so we can really focus on what is important to us at the time.
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I know how I felt when listening to conference etc. was a big motivator in my leaving of the church. For me, it wasn't about the historical issues (I knew about them from seminary) it was the fact that I either felt bored or actively in opposition to what was being said at conference. After conference, I didn't feel like I was inspired to be a better person - I felt either they had no idea
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I totally agree with this. You don't have to be a phony. On the other hand, sometimes someone says "I'm being genuine" when what they really mean is that they are letting their personal opinions and beliefs affect their professional life. The fact is, sometimes you have to be able to work with people that you personally do not like very much. Being honest, telling people what i
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From what you wrote it doesn't sound like he's asking you to take a vacation but more that you should move out for a while and leave the kids with him. Since you have already responded that with your schedule leaving doesn't really work right now and he keeps pushing instead of waiting until later - I would definitely be suspicious. Maybe confronting this with him and asking why it is so u
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They protect you from other people thinking you're a normal person. They protect you from wearing a sundress as it's meant to be worn.
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I don't practice what I would call formal meditation. I meditate in the following places. In bed either morning or night. I'm relaxed, I'm peaceful, it's a safe and comfortable place. At night I usually end up falling asleep, as I get into a calm and relaxed state. While walking/riding a bike on a bike trail - some form of movement that's repetitive, doesn't take a lot of effort or have
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My brother just told me he was called to the bishopric in his ward. Not sure if 1st or 2nd counselor (didn't really care). First member of my family who's ever held one of the "big" callings. My family is all excited and I'm sad. I just can't be happy for someone who's giving up his valuable time in service to a cult. I know he's taking on this responsibility and he'll be willing
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You were told that if you followed all of these rules given by the Mormons that you'd be good. Then, you figured out that the rules were crap and external appearances or following a bunch of meaningless rules doesn't really do anything for you - which means that now you're trying to figure out your own rules which can be very difficult. How you are feeling right now is very normal. I es
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The problem is that you are looking at your lack of success as "I wasn't righteous enough" and then looking at others who are successful and wondering why they are doing better than you when they are "wicked". You need to take this mindset OUT of the workforce because it won't get you anywhere. Mormons I've seen tend to be naive and/or judgmental. This is not a recipe for
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He's caught in the "I don't believe it but I was brainwashed" mode. I know I was there for a while.
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ummm... I'm confused. In prior posts you referred to him as "Elder Wonderful" and that you thought he was cute and etc. and that you wanted to see if you could stay in contact with him even if you weren't going to get baptized. Perhaps I am wrong but it sounded like you were interested in him in a romantic way. Now he's texting you and you don't want anything to do with him? Again, conf
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The issue is choice, which is what is missing in this argument. I can sit and think about killing someone all I want to - but if I actually do that it's murder. And, it's wrong because the person I killed didn't choose to be dead. I took away their rights. The same argument applies to pedophilia (whether hetero or gay) and child prostitution or marriage or polygamy when old men marry undera
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I always thought that it was strange that at BYU if you live in the dorms a girl and boy are assigned as the "mother" and "father" and you have family home evening with an assigned group. So, instead of students hanging out together in a natural way - they have FHE.
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I was shunned while I was in the church and it was one of the big reasons that I left. To be honest I've never really fit into the church structure as I'm introverted and a thinker. It's hard for me to be outgoing and bubbly and it takes a while for me to get to know people. Also, I never have agreed with many of lessons and I can't really be friends with people who actually buy into loads of gar
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When I lost my job and ended up in major debt and then had to sell my house, I was VERY unhappy and very scared. When I got a new job I was very relieved, but I was still stressed. It was hard for me to find an apartment because my credit score was awful (debt, late mortgage payments, etc.) and I was making about 1/2 of what I did before - so I was worrying about rent vs. groceries, etc. N
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So, Mitt and Ann lived in a basement apartment and paid for their education with family money. He was GIVEN the stock - he didn't earn it. This is a lot different than most people. It's the difference between someone working in order to buy an old beater car and someone getting a present of the old beater car from their parents. And, then when they go to Harvard they get a "loan"
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It sounds like you email/chat every so often from your post. Do NOT do some soul baring letter about how much you miss him and how he's the only one. This is creepy - whether it's a guy or a girl. I've had a couple of guys do this to me, and all it makes me feel is weird because I don't think I could measure up to this sort've idealized version they've got in their head. Say something like
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I really liked this post because this is very much what it means to live a normal life. Most people don't go out and get plastered every night, but once in a while is really fun. And, if it's with co-workers it can really build those personal connections. They see that you are a human being and that you can let loose once in a while. As far as the hangover - I've had a couple and I honestly do
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Ok, I agree with the judgment but wouldn't the same judgment apply to MANY corporations? I think this is why holding a corporation to be the same as an individual is inherently flawed. Because, no matter how you think about it, they are not.
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I think abusive men take it as a reason and an excuse for their abuse. After all the Lord said the man is the head of the house.
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If you really want to stay friends with Elder Wonderful here's what I would do. Tell him you are no longer interested in the church, but would like to remain friends. Get his mailing address. Send him letters. You can also send email to him through dearelder.com (since you know his name and where he's serving this should be pretty easy to do.) He's not supposed to be without Elder Doughhea
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I know I had this idea that sex=commitment right after I got divorced, and I think it's a Mormon thought process. If you feel he's trustworthy that can be a true feeling, but that doesn't mean that he's looking for a relationship. IMO, he didn't lead you on and was pretty upfront with you about the fact that he wasn't looking for anything. What I've found is that if you have certain expect
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No, because the man you're obeying is supposed to be following the Lord. If he was directing me in righteousness then it should feel like I was being supported not like I was being oppressed. Now, my ex took it as I was supposed to obey. That didn't work out so well.
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19 yrs and 9 months. Divorced at 27 with two kids. Being single has been a LOT more fun and fulfilling than my married life was. I don't regret my marriage because my kids are great, but I would not recommend to anyone getting married that young. I think mid-twenties to mid-thirties is ideal.
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Maybe not resignations but I think the internet makes it much more difficult to get and retain converts. I've only been on this site about a month and I think there's been at least 3 people in that time who were really thinking about joining, did some internet research, ended up here and then said "Hell NO!" There's too much info out there now about the real stuff that the missionari
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It sounds like perhaps the wife is someone you might be able to stay friends with HOWEVER I would just tell her that as an adult, she is responsible for her own conversations and her husband WILL NOT come and yell at you. Ever. If she doesn't want to talk about something - she can just say so. If the husband is not happy with what his wife is discussing with her friends, that's between him
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