Posted by:
Cristina
(
)
Date: February 05, 2011 03:04PM
There really is something therapists look at in a person's "inappropriate affect" or "incongruent affect" that shows a person is having a hard time expressing the whole range of emotions. They express a different emotion in their affect, their face and gestures than what their words convey and other body language may express.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mood_congruenceShe was obviously in anguish and she was very vulnerable as she spoke. Which is why the smile is oddly incongruent with the emotion she is feeling. It's not that she should have cried or should have done anything. It's an observation about being programmed to channel feelings through one acceptable emotion even when the emotion you're feeling is the complete opposite so that it looks like you're coping much better than you are. And for many people it leads to repressing true feelings and to emotional illness and to not healing.
Not finding fault with her. Feeling sorry for what she's holding inside. Not asking her to show me what she's holding inside. Just feeling sorry for what she's holding inside.