Posted by:
chiog
(
)
Date: October 25, 2013 10:09PM
First time poster....long time lurker. I just need a bit of therapy and thought I would share with people who understand. I feel for the missionaries. Most of them are completely brainwashed and would do anything their benevolant leader tells them to do. I am no longer active unlike my TBM wife and I have become a reactivation project. The missionaries are always welcome in my home.... to play pool, eat or hang-out but I told them that I aint coming back so don't try. My home has become a safe haven for some of these guys and some of them are very open about their thoughts and feelings. I have become quite close to a certain Tongan missionary from American Samoa who has served for 20 months (this will probably be his last area). What I appreciate about him is that he is honest about what is really going on in his mission. There is essentially no work....and anyone they do find has also found how to search for the truth on the internet.
This past Monday his mother unexpectantly passed away. His mission president came to his apartment advised him of the sad news, gave him a blessing and told him his family wanted him to stay on the mission. This poor guy is devastated. He came to my home this evening and opened up to me. He has not seen his mother for 7 years (circumstances took him out of American Samoa before his mission). I asked him if he was close to his mother. He quietly nodded and just said, "very". It ripped my heart out to see this big old Tongan tearing up. I asked him if the mission president had given him the option of returning home. He said, "no". I too have experienced this same situation. I lost a sister I was very close to one month into my mission. I was in the MTC and a GA sat me down to give me the news. They recommended that I stay where I was and focus on being a missionary. Nothing was going to bring my sister back...she was in a better place....it would all work out....feel the spirit...you get the picture. The MTC was only 4 hours from my home...why they could let me go home for some closure is a mystery and a regret that I have carried with me for over 30 years.
Anyway, I asked my Tongan friend if he wanted to go home. I suddenly saw a look of hope on his face. He said, "I want to remember my mother as she is honored in death". I said, OK...give me your mission presidents phone number. I got him on the first ring (cell). We discussed our Tongan missionary and the situation he was facing....I asked him right up front if the elder was given the opportunity to go home. MP said, "no, his family wants him to stay". Apparently his brother said that his mothers dying wish was to keep him on the mission and not worry about him coming home. I indicated to the MP that I was going to be the ying to the church's yang. I told him that sometimes the church needs to do the honorable thing and allow a young man who has served faithfully for 20 months to go home with honor and allow him some closure with his mother. He disagreed and indicated that his family wants him to stay (big heap of guilt, fear and shame all balled up in one). I shared with him my experience with my sister and not living a life with regrets... he said that missionaries that overcome a situation like this come out stronger. OK...then let him go home and then fly him back to finish his mission. I asked him to size up the situation and use some common sense and a little bit of logic. Twenty months into a mission, mother dies....if the church had a conscience it would tell the young man to go home (no shame, no guilt) and it would tell his family to accept him with a warm embrace (no shame, no guilt). The MP was cordial and thanked me for my concern and opinion. I still shake my head and wonder how a church that focused on the family can be so F'ed up. Thanks for the rant.