This is a conversation I had with my TBM father at least 20 times during my last decade in the church:

Roger: I feel so uncomfortable at church. I disagree with at least half of what is said, and I only feel the spirit once every few months.

Dad: You are looking at church the wrong way. We don't come to church to feel good. We come to serve other people, and to focus on something other than ourselves. I don't 'like' church a lot of the time, either, but I keep going to purify myself."


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But wait, doesn't the BoM promise us that when we will be filled with the Holy Ghost when we are following the commandments? Shouldn't I have more than a fleeting good feeling every few months? Shouldn't god do everything he can to confirm to me that I am in the right place?

No. Church is supposed to be suffering. You are not supposed to feel happy at church.

If all of us at the ward building are filled with the Spirit, how come we disagree on almost every doctrine, to the point that we have to water down LDS teachings to even less than the bullet points contained in the Gospel Principles manual? Why would the Spirit move one person to think that compassion means hating homosexuality (but loving the sinner), while it moves me to think that compassion means accepting homosexuality?

And, wait, if I am miserable here, and it seems that others around me are miserable (hiding it behind fake smiles), how am I serving them by being here? Wouldn't it be a lot kinder to all of us if we didn't HAVE to be somwhere that we are all miserable.

Being at church is supposed to be hard. It isn't a break. It isn't a SABBATH. It is all about retrenchment and strengthening the organization.

None of this made any sense to me. It still doesn't.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/28/2013 11:49AM by rogertheshrubber.

Like you, I was frustrated and unhappy because I violently disagreed with something (usually racist, sexist, homophobic, or overly judgemental) about twice an hour. Should have done my research earlier. I stopped going because I was unhappy, was unhappy because it's just plain wrong.

Yes, my TBM wife continues to say the same thing to me. Whenever it would come up that I disliked/hated church meetings and the LAST way I would describe them is "worshipful", she would always come back with the same explanation as your dad: she attends to serve others, not to be served. She always refers to her attendance at baptisms, homemaking night, pot lucks, and every other possible extra event as "supporting so-and-so". She'll go to some stupid RS homemaking event that she has zero interest in so she can "support" whoever is in charge of the thing. She devotes herself to an organization that she acknowledges doesn't give her anything.

Exactly. But wouldn't she be "supporting" that person a lot more by NOT artificially inflating the attendance at the baptism, etc. I always felt dishonest when I would suck it up and pretend to enjoy the temple, just so others around me didnt feel insecure.

You are looking at your job the wrong way.
We don't come to work to feel good. We come to serve other people.

I don't 'like' my job a lot of the time either, but I keep coming in because I need the benefits.

And if there weren't any benefits, I wouldn't come to work.

And curiously enough, they pay you to be at work, and you pay to go to church. What's up with that?

Hi Roger: Perhaps the REAL reason you should NOT be attending LDS meetings is because maybe the theology/doctrine is wrong? Ask yourself if you REALLY believe in a God (Heavenly Father) who has a physical body, is merely an exalted man, has parents, grandparents, & a wife, and who was born at some location and advanced and progressed to BECOME a God? Come on, is that the biblical description of God? I submit to you the theology is not only flawed, but heretical.

My post has a lot more to do with the conundrom of a TBM: When you hear truth, you feel good, but you don't feel good at church.

I left the LDS cult On November 28, 2009 for a list of reasons that could fill a book. Theology is definitely part of it.

It could only be heretical in the context of another religious worldview.
If you examine it from another religious worldview, you're already out and don't need to call it heretical to excuse it.

That is the power of the brainwashing in LDS INC. Most people do not like church meetings. They are boring, poorly prepared speakers, mundane rituals, and the same stuff regurgitated every Sunday. That is why TSCC focuses on getting members "church broke." If TSCC can keep members in the system through a perceived obligation, the members will keep paying $$$.

Most people KNOW deep down that TSCC is a fraud. I believe that the human brain is extremely powerful and can see deception. However, the mind can be conditioned through repetition and sheer will power. This is why I think TSCC focuses on getting people church broke. The human mind can be trained into acceptance of false ideology. The one thing that is hard to train is emotions. Emotions and feelings are rooted deep within the subconscious. The feeling that "something feels off" about TSCC cannot be easily remedied.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/28/2013 01:05PM by gracewarrior.