Posted by:
questionsnoanswers
(
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Date: October 29, 2013 10:15PM
While I am trying to sort things out in my mind tonight, I must ask this. (I am soooo new at just the beginnings of thinking Mormonism is awful for me). As mentioned, I feel like I am being punished for straying 'off the path'.
Seeing all these discussions, made me think. I went through the temple when I was 24, as a never married single parent. I felt it was 'the right thing to do'. (although I did get told a lot that MOST people go through on a mission or when married. They 'assessed' that I was mature enough. UGH!! I hated proving to others I was mature enough to go through. Well, come to find out, maybe they were wrong. :P
Do you REALLY believe all TBM's feel the Spirit soooo strongly and it is the most peaceful, awesome place on earth? Because after I went through.....I cried ALL night and felt so sick inside. I felt I was the 'bad' one and the Lord was punishing me as a single mother for going through. I was confused, weirded out, etc, but everyone kept hugging me in the Celestial Room saying how grand it was.
I have only been a handful of times in 15 years. As I read post after post of my TBM friends, my temple worker dad, etc. I feel alienated. Can I REALLY be the only one that gets so creeped out? I try, and I do fine the first hour. The second hour with all the things they do, feels sooooo creepy. I am not ex-Mormon, and I don't like this stuff, so I feel stuck.
Please tell me that there are those of you that hid how you REALLY felt about the temple. I feel like the odd duck here in Utah!!!!!