While I have not been officially diognosed, I am certain I do have the disability know as Asbergers Syndrome (AS). I almost fit into the symptoms perfectly as does my son.

Anyway, as an exmo, looking back on my life, I would find it incredible that while mormonism can have an incredible negative effect on peoples lives, anyone suffering from a disability such as 'AS', might very well be the doom of them. Looking back, it is a major ego boost to myself asteem that I made it as far as I did, thorugh my youth and through a mission, not to mention several callings, which was hell all along.

I went in and out of activity/inativity throughout my life and suffered guilt, depression and occasional suicidal thoughts from two major things attacking me: tyranical church doctrine and leaders and my over active mind.

Now, I can say that I should be recieving my official letter from the church any day, now I can learn to make peace with my mind. At least I can work on a mind when I know what it is that 'turns' on me and no longer have to listen to a church that is telling me it is satin controlling my mind, putting fear and anxieties on my mind and if I put my all into the church, god will bless me.......and I no longer have to endure preisthood blessings that come with conditions, and consquesnt guilt that it is my fault I am still suffering.

Well, I have resigned. NOw, I can work on my disability, which I will likely have for life, but at least I will know what I have and why I have it. I can make peace with it.

So, Anyone else here suffer from Asbergers Syndrome?

Yep. Several of us, from what I've observed.

It doesn't have to be a disability, though it can sometimes be.

Please email me matt_exmo@yahoo.co.uk if you want.

Oh yes.

I checked online sites and found some suggestive markers you may find on an online forum:

"...comprehension, social language requiring give and take may be lacking, an unusual tone or quality, rote or repetitive speech may present. Blurting out, excessively asking the same question over and over, echoing or mimicking, large vocabulary, or difficulty listening to another and understanding another perspective can be apparent...They may appear very rigid in their point of view, and unable to accept or understand another's perspective. They may appear to never be able to 'let it go,' or tend towards appearing argumentative or 'splitting hairs.' A conversation can lead to tantrums, emotional meltdowns, or withdrawal with seemingly little provocation."
(http://www.disabled-world.com/artman/publish/article_2255.shtml)

"Communication is difficult because people with Asperger’s are not facile with give-and-take and are unlikely to offer apologies or acknowledge responsibility for failed relationships. They may become overly sensitive to criticism or suspicious of others and, because they harbor lingering resentment over perceived slights, they are seen by others as being paranoid....Conclusions are difficult to reach because people with Asperger’s need to always have 'one last word'.”

(http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/cant-relate-it-might-be-adult-aspergers/)

Thanks Richard. From my experience, Aspies may, but do not necessarily, have all the listed characteristics in your quotes, but may have many of them.

Terrible grammar, I know, in that sentence. Yeah, this one too!

Leaving LDSCorp., and cutting my social stress situations, plus regular deep meditation, have actually brought improvement to many of my long-standing symptoms.

Personally, I have always been hypersensitive to rudeness, abuse and social slights (I was raised in an abusive family), but posting here at RFM has helped me a lot in this regard! ;)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/15/2013 07:48PM by hello.

Hello, I appreciate your posts, coming as you do from the experienced reality of a serious yogic and meditative path. Unlike some who rack up 20+ posts a day, hound with personal insults anyone who disagrees, and always always must have the last word, I would have never suspected that you had any aspie "symptoms." Congratulations on your improvements.

Thanks Richard, I so much appreciate your kind comments. :)

You've made my kalpa!

I'm probably mildly autistic.. socially awkward with difficulty reading other people's body language and stuff. I am much more articulate in writing than in speech. Or it could be just an extreme introversion, I don't know.

I'm an aspie. 38 single female. Good steady job. My TBM dad doesn't know I don't believe in Mormonism. If he found out, he'd proberly blame it on my autism. I hate it when he blames everything on autism. I don't count my autism as an excuse for anything. I feel smart and have a photographic memory.

My daughter is...And she is a TOTAL delight!

Yes, she has challenges from the disability but is smart, compassionate (although at times her rigidity appears at times like she doesn't care - she shows concern for people in other ways) and a very interesting person!

My son was recently diagnosed with Aspergers, and there's a strong likelihood that I'm on the autism spectrum as well. My wife is utterly convinced, and my son's neurologist told me that, in his professional opinion, there's no doubt of it.

My lifelong struggle with fitting into society suddenly makes sense, but I'm left wondering what opportunities a diagnosis would open up for me.

My son, however, is young, and I'm determined to make sure he has every opportunity to succeed in ways that I failed, particularly in academia. I'm working with his school to make sure he's covered by the Americans with Disabilities Act, and that teachers and administrators are working in his best interest.

My son has autism and is high functioning. One of the few things that makes me hesitate coming out and leaving TSCC is how his primary teachers and cub leaders have embraced and accepted him. Then again, I know that these days I can find a normal cub group that will do likewise.

"...Then again, I know that these days I can find a normal cub group that will do likewise."

I absolutely agree! For some reason, as TBMs, we think no one is as charitable, loving or as kind as members of the church. My wife and I were worried about our 11 year old son and scouting when we left the church.

We had a non-member friend tell us to join their gentile scout troop. We couldn't believe the difference! These people truly care about their positions and the boys. It was so much better organized and thought out. A night and day difference IMO.

I believe it has to do with the fact they're actually volunteering! Not being assigned by the holy bishop to be in that position. Don't be afraid of the real world. Their are TONS of very loving, charitable people who aren't under mind control.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/16/2013 10:47AM by newnamenephi.

My official diagnosis is Schizoid Personality Disorder with avoidant features.

But I have a cousin with classic autism and a grandson with classic autism and I am confident that I actually have Asperger's.

(I also suspect my grandfather had Asperger's and my son as well.)

Me too. I was surprised to see how many RFMers are AS, especially how many women. It is relatively rare in the general population, and is more common in males, but several of the frequent female posters here are Aspies.

Aspies are particularly ill-suited to Mormonism. They are not good at manipulating people, not good at lying to others or themselves, and are good at rigorously examining evidence. All those traits are the kiss of death in Mormonism.

I realize the spectrum is pretty broad, and for some it is a genuine disability, but there are a number of places where the Aspie skill set comes in handy. Software development, mathematics, engineering, and technical research are all areas where aspies can do pretty well. I don't see it so much as a disability as that I have an unusual set of strengths and weaknesses. One of my traits is that I make a really lousy Mormon. My family considers it a weakness. Y'all consider it a strength. Context is everything.

Yep -100% agree.

Have some experience.
Some random plain thoughts, hope useful.

Classic Aspergers - can be adaptive, or maladaptive, largely depending upon circumstances.

Examples:

Can be very useful for the research scientist who needs to work intensely and alone, especially if working in a field of genuine interest. Typically very intelligent. Can be an excellent pilot, architect, artist, dancer, accountant, engineer, computer programmer; i.e. thing and big-idea-stuff.

But it can be very challenging for the politician, mid-level executive, military officer, film director, dance director/choreographer, or being an engineering project manager; i.e. people-stuff.

For the youngsters, please allow the freedom to select their field or discipline of study; generally they will gravitate to their real interests and the fit will be good. Please don't make them doctors if they don't want to go there. They would be miserable in their success.

They get bullied in school; this can really be damaging, so look for it, because they may not show it.

Socially awkward; but there is a real person somewhere inside there. Need more than the usual "self-time" to unwind and re-calibrate. Daily life can be intensely energy draining, particularly if heavy in the people-contact. People contact is draining. Don't force them to take a Dale Carnegie course to learn how to be the life of the party. It will make them feel defective instead of just different. And it won't work.

Can make totally devoted and monogamous mates, if the 'normal' mate is fairly independent and not "high-maintenance;" otherwise, normal mate may get to feeling lonely. Sometimes two aspies will find each other, and it really is perfect.

I have a formal diagnosis. My son has severe autism.

I suspect the concrete thinking associated with Asperger's makes the pretzel thinking needed to be a knowledgeable TBM difficult to sustain for long. The need to know the basic "facts" is inescapable for concrete thinkers; "nuanced" readings of the BoM and other scriptures seem ridiculous. If the scriptures can not survive a plain reading than they are nonsense. That is my experience anyway.

With the new DSM-V this year, the Aspie diagnosis has been folded into ASD (as "Mild ASD"), so we are a "dying" breed.

I think Asperger's is still an accepted diagnosis outside the USA.

I was diagnosed with Asperger's in my late 20's and after leaving Mormonism and having my divorce finalized. I've had traits my whole life, and there's at least one ancestor that I've heard of that might have had Aspie traits.

I think that my Aspie traits made me a lousy Mormon since I'm not at all good at sales, and I was one who asked too many questions. Also, my interest in history meant that I wasn't satisfied with the official church sources, so I ended up studying my way out as I couldn't turn off my brain.

For me, the revelation came when my little nephew was diagnosed with Asperger's when he was about 2 1/2. He has all the classic symptoms.

So my sister went out and bought a book on it, in order to understand what she was dealing with and how best to help her son.

She began reading, looked at her husband and said, "This is my sister!"

I came over later to babysit and she showed me the book. I picked it up and quickly went through the first chapter about the indicators of Asperger's.

I looked up and said, "This is me!" My sister looked at her husband and said, "See? I told you! I said to him, "This is my sister.""

So I took a bunch of questionnaires on-line and they kept coming back saying, "Yep, you probably have it." I always go well over the line between typical and Asperger's.

It sure does explain a lot about my life. I often struggle through what should be normal situations. It's frustrating, but I don't know how to be any different. It's just me. Just who I am.

The diagnosis has really upset my nephew, because he doesn't like feeling different. We've been trying to explain to him that everyone in this life has something that they have to deal with. His little sister has heart issues and will need heart surgery as she grows a little older.

I went through the whole family and highlighted the issues that each of us deal with. No one gets by in this life without their struggles. We said that this one is just his thing to deal with, but that it doesn't have to be the focus of his life.

I have an unusually high number of the traits but come out on the neurotypical side of the line.

My cousin has been diagnosed as autistic, and I'm pretty sure that his father and my mother both have aspergers (they're brother and sister). Sadly they're both from a generation that didn't look into these things so readily, because personally I've found it useful to know that I have the traits. I don't necessarily see aspergers as a disability, more of something that's useful in some circumstances and that you have to work around in others.

It was a huge relief when I finally twigged that my mother probably had aspergers. It's now much easier for me to understand and predict her reactions.

The really sad thing is that she thought it was essential to be a stay at home mother. She wasn't cut out for it - I'm guessing it wouldn't be an ideal life for most people with aspergers - and we'd all have been happier if she'd worked at least part-time, in a quiet analytical job. Mothers are individuals and promoting a one-size-fits-all message that being a SAHM is the ideal is NOT helpful... Who do we know puts that message out?

Just to add - Greyfort,it's great that your family have been able to discuss things so easily. I'll never be able to discuss it openly with my mother and it's shame, because what you know about you can deal with.

Anon Brit Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Just to add - Greyfort,it's great that your family
> have been able to discuss things so easily. I'll
> never be able to discuss it openly with my mother
> and it's shame, because what you know about you
> can deal with.

Yeah, it helps. My Mom's a little difficult though. She doesn't really seem to understand it. She thinks it's something that just goes away or can be easily fixed.

She'll say things that sound like she thinks my nephew doesn't have it anymore.

She doesn't really get it. She'll say, "You were more than shy. You were downright timid." But she just prefers to deal with timid, rather than just plain socially awkward.

I have a cousin who has AS. He's a sweet guy and loves to work with machines. There is a lot of ADD and ADHD in our family also.

Let's say I have scars...my husband and his father have aspies and so does one of my sons...

My son and I get along fine.

I spent over twenty years married to an Aspie who could never connect with me and I was left painfully out in the cold....thus the scars..

Then there was the trouble of being marginalized by the church because my Aspie FIL and husband did not play well with others at church.

My Aspie son crawled under the pew to avoid having to sing in the Fathers day program. I was single "head of household" why should my son be forced to sing "I'm so glad when Daddy comes home" when he hadn't seen or talked with his Dad for months????


Stupid cult...it really hurts the aspies and has NO tolerance for their literal thinking and questioning the obvious!

I'm very happy you're out of the church.

Mormon Observer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Stupid cult...it really hurts the aspies and has
> NO tolerance for their literal thinking and
> questioning the obvious!

I wish I hadn't spent 30 years questioning the obvious and trying to push aside my doubts, which only kept coming back again.

I guess I just really wanted to believe it.

I'm glad I'm out too.

I do not suffer from it until i am out in society surrounded by noise and stenches like mint and i have to talk on the phone at work

Search for "asp" and you'll see that we're a proud and beautiful lot!

http://entnemdept.ufl.edu/Creatures/MISC/MOTHS/puss.htm

It's nice to see there's a name for people like me. Adaptive aspies. Who knew?

Magic mushrooms were a tremendous help to me socially. I mean, not being on shrooms, but the lasting personality change it caused. Studies at Johns Hopkins have confirmed that the effect is real and useful.

Come to think of it, it's been a while. I may be due for a bit of the divine sacrament.

A friend of mine has Aspberger's and left TSCC a long time ago. He's a brilliant guy who is really trying hard to improve socially. I admire him a lot.

He's way too smart to believe in the crap dished out by the church. In fact, someone else with Aspberger's told me that having it is a "blessing" in terms of the church because they're too smart to be "brainwashed in such a way".
ha!