I post here rather a lot - check in at least once a day. At most, that means I probably spend an hour a day reading and posting on RfM. If there is a good argument going on, I may post longer but other days, I spend less time here. That leaves me with 23 other hours to work, clean, exercise, sleep, play with my kids, play with my husband, hang out with friends, garden, shop ... well, you get the idea. You'd be surprised at how little I think about Mormons most of the time. If they aren't right in my face, they probably aren't right on my mind those other 23 hours.

But once in a while, some posters and some trolls will think we are wallowing in our misery, anger and negativity and we should let it go and find the happier path. Those people are very wrong - the truth is, it's more like cleaning my house. When I'm home and I see a mess, I want to clean it up. You wouldn't say I was wallowing in dirt simply because I feel the need to sweep and mop and vacuum. I want to clean the Mormonism out of my life and help others clean it out of theirs. If I have "cleaning tips" that helped me, I want to pass them along to others. That's hugely different than sitting around, focusing on the negative and feeling sorry for myself. It's simple maintenance and dealing with a messy problem efficiently.

So go ahead everybody - clean your mental and spiritual house of Mormonism and don't let anyone tell you that you are wallowing in the negative when you are in fact, doing the opposite. Cleaning out the negative so you can let the sunshine in.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/18/2013 01:02AM by CA girl.

People are trying to recover, hence, it may sound and feel negative. Negative feelings and hurt feelings are uncomfortable and TBM's don't like that. They'd rather turn their heads and ignore the uncomfortable elephant in the room. Lovely.

'Switch it off' like a light bulb, switch it off...

How many mormon missionaries does it take to screw
in a light bulb?
Two...
One to hide the light bulb, and one to tell people to
search their hearts for the light.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/18/2013 08:25AM by ldsidiot.

That's because they are so geared towards the black and white Mormon thinking. They love sniffing out negativity.

I think it's trolls, plans, and other TBM-types trying to drive us off because what we write tarnishes their brand.

Jest fer grins, lets's for a second assume the self-appointed holier-than-thou critics are correct and we actually are 'wallowing' (love the visuals) in negativity.

I really, really, really, really care what they think.

Yes, they don't like us. We'll just have to bravely soldier on under their disapproval.

HAHAHAHAHA!

It was the unrelenting negativity and cynicism that was my biggest annoyance with Mormon subculture. Mormons are extremely distrustful and even fearful of the world outside of their little sphere of influence. The books and TV shows I liked were condemned. The music I liked was Satanic. My parents didn't like me playing with non-Mormon kids. Many of the talks I heard at church were about how the wickedness of the world was creeping into their homes. Mormons stockpile food in unending preparation for some kind of apocalypse that's always just around the corner. Doctrinally, Mormons believe that the world will one day be destroyed and all the "wicked" (everyone who doesn't go to their church) will be killed by Jesus and sent to hell. A reminder of this is in the very name of their church.

If there's any group of people wallowing in negativity it's Mormons.

Yeah, my mom was going on and on last night about how you can just see the last days prophecies coming to pass and how spiritual preparation, especially of the children, is as important as having food and water. It is beyond her to comprehend that any spiritual preparation takes place outside the Mormon church. Nothing else is valid. Talk about negative.

Isn't being active in the LDS church a form of wallowing in misery and negativity? We have to think of this as our anti-activity in the Mormon church, or activity in another religion. One can't allow the Mormons to always get away with that frame of mind, that we "can't leave it alone," or are "wallowing in negativity." So are they. When we leave the church, they won't leave us the hell alone. They stalk us and track us down. And to me, "wallowing in negativity/misery" describes any sacrament meeting, fast and testimony meeting, going to the temple, or working in a "calling" extended by the bishop or SP. I defy any good member of the church to find comfort and understanding in participating in a temple endowment session.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/18/2013 08:50AM by cludgie.

Excellent point.
Makes sense.

I went to a Fast and testimony meeting -- it was AMAZINGLY negative to my outside eyes. The body language screamed misery as did more than a few of the testimonies given.

I've actually said that to a couple of Mormons:

"Well, you know the saying - You can leave the church but Mormons won't leave you alone." I threw it into the conversation each time like they knew that old saying and would agree with me.

You should have seen their eyes... lol

"The world is going to hell. They don't have the light of
Christ, they are embracing homosexual marriage--an abomination,
they are lovers of their own flesh and seekers after pleasure.
The fashions are an abomination also, baring so much skin.
People don't follow Christ and unbelief is growing. The
governments are too secular, crime and drug abuse are out of
control. Divorce is rampant and children are not being raised
properly, yadda yadda yadda."

And they say WE are wallowing in negativity???

All this is how they cheer each other up.

will go along for a while and leave me alone. It usually happens around this time of year--that she decides I'm a miserable human being because I might mention the past--like that I'm glad her dad and I get along now because it was hard on me when my memories were tainted by my disdain for him. I do believe it comes down to the mormon church--and my inability to 'forgive' them. Forgive them means--go back.

I asked her last time she did this--"Who do you know who has their ex living in the downstairs of the house with them? Who gets along with them almost all the time?" All her friends tell her how strong of a mother she has--and all she can see is that I'm miserable without the church.

I did tell her last Christmas--"If I'm so miserable to be around, PLEASE just stay away." It shocked her. I've never done that before.

I find it hard to believe that she can't see how hard I've worked to get this far. She refuses to see it because I haven't gone back to the lds church.

Um, I post, and read posts, because it is:

1) Entertaining.
2) Enlightening.
3) Energizing.
4) En - vigorating. (Well, they all had to start with en.)

Maybe, maybe, just maybe, they're jealous, because we have interests, friends, a life, outside of their banal cloistered suffocating life that is their existence inside the morg.

(Even if some of those friends are online, and have never been met in person, they are still, to me, friends.)

Chock full of N-words.

Love the cleaning analogy! Great thread!

My TBM sister used to give me the reprimand that I must read my scriptures (especially the Book of Mormon) every day to remain positive and upbeat in life.

Now I read RFM, MormonThink and all the other internet information I can get my hands on. This IS reading my scriptures every day. And . . . I feel great!

Sorry little sis.

******
FYI: Created for everyone: http://mormonthink.com/glossary/mormonthink-pass-it-on-cards.htm



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/18/2013 11:59AM by jiminycricket.

Seems the purposes of the recovery board are:
1. Community i.e. I was not the only one once duped.
2. Retrospectively making sense of - gee, what happened. How was I ever duped.

Because (a) we are dealing with real stuff, much of it negative as the cult is a negative entity, and (b) have learned to be real and stopped sugarcoating things, some of it is indeed going to be negative.

But to label and dismiss it as 'negative' simply evidences the black/white limitation of the the critic. Once so labeled, the critic no longer has to actually think on it or see real data. Because seeing and thinking is scary.

Actually it is impressive how someone will ask for help; and be flooded with cogent applicable suggestions, all of these genuine, none negative. These are all over.

Which may be the third reason for the recovery board;
Positive Mutual Support.

The church does a good job of teaching its members that negative thoughts and feelings need to be stifled.

So many of us, even as believing members, have spent years trying to push down, control or change our negative thoughts about many things LDS because that's what we've been told to do. The problem with stuffing negative feelings is that you don't actually get rid of them. They just sit there waiting to surface again and again. Each time they come to the surface, you madly try to push them back down into the pit of your stomach and the far recesses of your brain. It's kind of like shoving clutter in closets and corners without ever getting rid of it.

I like your cleaning comparison because I don't visit RfM to wallow in negativity, but to get rid of it. I think of RfM as a trash can for the negative feelings I have towards Mormonism. The times that I think that I had the most negativity towards the church was when I thought I had to keep it all inside and pretend that what I knew and was experiencing didn't bother me.

Every time I post or read a story on RfM it seems like a little bit of therapy. I'm cleaning out the negativity in my system that I feel towards the LDS church, not adding to it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/18/2013 04:22PM by want2bx.

I liked that. Thanks again for one of you clever posts! I enjoy reading them!

Another great post CA girl. What an analogy. Keep 'em coming!

I have never, ever experienced the kind of negativity my parents wallow in every day.

Bagley memes from my childhood:

We're not gonna make it this month. We can't pay our bills.

You kids are the reason we don't own anything nice.

How do you think this makes me look at church?

You're getting a beating.

If you don't eat that, you go to bed. Your night is over.

Don't make me get the stick.

What did you tell your Primary teacher?