I want to bear to you my solemn testimony that I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that 2 + 2 = 5. I know this is true because the spirit of God has told me and not of any worldly learning.
Oh, I know, there will be some who say, "but, Baura, everyone knows that 2 + 2 = 4." Yes I realize that the world goes its own way and does not care about the things of the Spirit. So-called intellectuals will dispute timeless truths; that seems to be very popular these days. But when the Spirit of God speaks to me is not to be questioned.
Exactly. Those faithful kolobians with eyes to see and ears to hear would know that just because 2 & 2 are equal, it doesn't mean they're actually equal.
For example, a male 2 is actually worth 3, while a female 2 is only worth 2. They're equal, both being 2, but the male 2 is worth more in the eyes of god. Hence, 2 + 2 = 5.
Another example: A straight 2 is worth 3, while a gay 2 is only worth 2 in the eyes of the lord of saboath. So, 2 + 2 in that case = 5, as well.
If you don't have the spirit then that will all seem crazy. If you think that all seems crazy you probably just finished masturbating...
2+2=5 may not be mathematically accurate, but it's a moral truth that I adhere to. It's also part of my social heritage, and it's disrespectful to always be throwing 2+2=4 in my face. Please allow me my dignity.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/23/2013 04:22PM by Makurosu.
LOL! and what revelations baura and kolobian received. I now know who the new profits are sent to lead and guide all of us.
Pray tell, with your insights, what new information do you see coming to the faithful in the new year 2014? And how do you think the Lard will help his floundering cult, er, I mean moron church, er, I mean mormon church?
May your new 2+2=5 Church lead us out of the quagmire we are in.
Well, I guess I can go ahead and let everyone know that when the church allows same-sex marriages in the temple, they won't actually be allowing same-sex marriages in the temple. See, that change will be heralded by a influx of female spirits into male bodies, so males will marry males, but one of the males will actually be a female spirit, and females marrying females will actually be marrying male spirits in female bodies.
It's all part of the plan, always has been. So it's not that they'll change their policy. Golly gee, no. It will be that the "spiritual marriage" will still be within kolobian guidelines. Upon resurrection the female spirits will get breeding cow bodies, and the vice versa.
This makes complete sense. As we all know, our blood literally became Jewish when we were baptized into COJCOLDS. It doesn't matter that our physicians couldn't see it. God knew it, and I knew it too. I can see now that we've all always been inhabited by "jewish spirits". It makes sense that the plan would progress into the male/female spirit realm.
baura Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I want to bear to you my solemn testimony that I > KNOW beyond a > shadow of a doubt that 2 + 2 = 5. I know this is > true because > the spirit of God has told me and not of any > worldly learning. > > Oh, I know, there will be some who say, "but, > Baura, everyone > knows that 2 + 2 = 4." Yes I realize that the > world goes its > own way and does not care about the things of the > Spirit. > So-called intellectuals will dispute timeless > truths; that seems > to be very popular these days. But when the Spirit > of God speaks > to me is not to be questioned. > > 2 + 2 = 5. > > God said it, I believe it, and that settles it.
Gaining a testimony that 2 + 2 = 5 is not easy. It takes commitment.
First you have to have the DESIRE that 2 + 2 = 5. Let this desire work in you so that you can receive a portion of the Spirit. Plant the seed that 2 + 2 = 5 in your heart, and if you do not cast it out with unbelief, if you don't resist the spirit of the Lord, the truth that 2 + 2 = 5 will grow in your heart, and you will feel the truth of it swell within your bosom. But you must nourish this seed of truth and not let it be defeated by the evils of doubt or critical thought.
And when you feel it grow and swell in your bosom then you will know that it is good. And if you know that it is good then you will know that it must be true, for, as we all know, no false ideas have ever given anyone a good feeling. Then you will have a perfect knowledge that 2 + 2 = 5.
Can I use these new formulas when I am calculating my tithing? Because the way I see it, if we are mixing up 'spiritual' numbers, I should at least save some money. Therefore, 10% equals 5% with spiritual eyes right? Or even better 0%!!! Praise be to spiritual eyes and stuff!!
You must not confuse the things of the spirit with porn. In porn 2 + 2 could actually end up equalling 9. ; )
But you are definitely onto something with "The whole is greater than the sum of the parts." That saying is a perfect companion for "doubt your doubts."