So before I was attending school at this hell hole I was vaguely familiar with only a few disconcerting church topics. Beyond the stone in the hat and knowing that Joseph-let-me-fu(k-your-wife-Smith had a few extra women on the side, I was pretty oblivious to the real church.
Thanks to my BOM professor, (a term I use lightly) a former Stake President and current douchebag, my life as I had known it was shattered. It started out as a faith promoting comment he made one day when he excitedly told everyone of the city NaHoM that had been found! Praise Mormon Jesus! The church is true, the church is true!
This was within a few weeks of me completing my mission papers, so it was a pretty natural thing for me to want to know more. What I was told was not close to what I discovered in my research. Im not sure if I got off my computer for a full day, I skipped classes and read every piece of information, "anti" or apologist, it didn't matter.
What this poorly researched "faith promoting" comment taught me you ask? No NaHoM. No prophetic translation. Yes to other men's wives. No book of Abraham. Yes pedophilia. No martyrdom. No evidence of the BOM anywhere. Yes lies. No truth.
After this I decided that my personal integrity was worth more than anything. More than the 16 credits I had earned, more than my (now destroyed) testimony, more than my friends and most of my family. What now? Well for those of you that have had to call home from BYU and tell your parents that not only were you done with school but you were NOT going on a mission, well that can be awkward...
The next two years were awful. I saw the result of going from the golden child in an extremely TBM family, to the one who fell away. I began to second guess myself. At a certain point I became depressed and wanted out. And not only out of the church. I wanted out of me. Depression was something that was just NOT me. Was is because I left the church? After all, no one who leaves the church is EVER happy, remember?
About a year into my misery I discovered this site. I was hooked. There were others out there? That was a huge factor in coping with my new life. Eventually, and in a very sluggish manner, life got better. And then it was actually pretty good. I met the women who has since become my wife. I have come to term with myself and am finally out of the Cog Dis I had been experiencing.
I am currently and very recently resigned from the cult. I am back in school, a real one this time, and happily married. I have a great job and it seems that finally everything is going right in my life. Well ok, my puppy still sh!ts in the house occasionally. That bastard.. But I digress.
So I am currently considering telling my parents everything, and I mean everything. Im sure they would at least understand, if not follow me out. In the mean time I am living life and loving it. Im sure there are lots out there whose lives are in shambles because of something they can't control (the church being a sham).
So my only two suggestions would be these: Just keep going. It gets way easier. And lastly, realize that the mishies and morgbot visits don't stop easily. I was nice at first.. But at a certain point its harassment. My most effective reply thus far? Well when they show up smiling with a book of Moron in hand and say "Hi is muckformonism home?" reply with a simple "no, I'm not home" and slam the door. Ive yet to have them come back!

Great story. Thanks for sharing it.

Isn't it interesting... Their own leadership are often their own worst enemy, whenever they open their mouth with some far fetched faith promo fiction.

LOL on your screen name.

Great story. Glad you made it through.

Yes I find it ironic that a former SP and a member of the 70 would share such damaging info without knowing it! And thanks I think my screen name reflects my opinion on the religion of my forefathers quite accurately!

He (they) are desparate these days...

Good for you man. You've opened your life to greater, more real adventures and possibility outside the tiny tipsy tent of Mormonism.

I hope your new major is something involving writing because you have a real way with words. Thanks for telling your story and confirming my suspicion that the only real anti-Mormons are the faithful members.

Loved your story! Thanks for sharing.

I am so glad you made it through that dark time and are enjoying a better life now!

You writing style is on par with the great Raptor Jesus.

Fantastic story. Warmed my cold hard heart. Good for you. And bless computers everywhere.

Thanks for the positive responses! Honestly it is a bit of a confidence booster, especially coming from some of my all- time favorite (and always hilarious) RFMers. I have never really written much, and genuinely enjoyed composing this thread.

Perhaps there shall be more to come from muckformonism?

What a great read. Thank you for sharing.

I look forward to hearing more from you, because of the wit and wisdom you combine so well.

Where are you going to school? (don't answer if it seems invasive or answering would make you feel uncomfortable)

I can relate. Loved your story..we all relate. Great moniker..lol.

Anyone who makes a life altering decision like you did is going to suffer serious withdrawl and depression. It's absolutely normal, particularly when leaving Mormonism.

I hate how your previous captors have trained you to think that YOU are the problem and now that you have left the church you are truly f(*$ed and miserable.

Glad you toughed it out to the other side of freedom!

Great story. The internet wasn't available when I went on my mission. But the stack of "Journal of Discourses" that my companion and I found in the chapel, followed by trips to the local library, prompted me to leave the mission, and the church, about 8 months into it. Thanks for sharing.

@A Goodly Parent

I find it amazing that you possess the strength of mind and resolve to not only find your way out of Mormonism, but to do it on your mission. Truly exceptional.

As for the others: It is astonishing that at one point I thought the problem was ME. Now that I am out of that mind fu(k I have found so much more joy in life.

And as for my major: I am studying biology and plan on going to dental school. I suppose this is the one family tradition that stuck with me; thank God it was dentistry and not Mormonism!

allow themselves to be billed as a "BoM professor?"

A professor is supposed to be somebody who should be academically admirable, very learned, etc. But how, then, could somebody of this caliber claim to specialize in a made-up crock of EXCRUCIATINGLY boring garbage? What does that really SAY about the person?

Sorry, but I went to a REAL university where they didn't teach made-up crap. (Well, there were classes where we studied fiction, but nobody claimed from the get-go that it was REAL.)