Posted by:
muckformonism
(
)
Date: January 04, 2014 09:07PM
So before I was attending school at this hell hole I was vaguely familiar with only a few disconcerting church topics. Beyond the stone in the hat and knowing that Joseph-let-me-fu(k-your-wife-Smith had a few extra women on the side, I was pretty oblivious to the real church.
Thanks to my BOM professor, (a term I use lightly) a former Stake President and current douchebag, my life as I had known it was shattered. It started out as a faith promoting comment he made one day when he excitedly told everyone of the city NaHoM that had been found! Praise Mormon Jesus! The church is true, the church is true!
This was within a few weeks of me completing my mission papers, so it was a pretty natural thing for me to want to know more. What I was told was not close to what I discovered in my research. Im not sure if I got off my computer for a full day, I skipped classes and read every piece of information, "anti" or apologist, it didn't matter.
What this poorly researched "faith promoting" comment taught me you ask? No NaHoM. No prophetic translation. Yes to other men's wives. No book of Abraham. Yes pedophilia. No martyrdom. No evidence of the BOM anywhere. Yes lies. No truth.
After this I decided that my personal integrity was worth more than anything. More than the 16 credits I had earned, more than my (now destroyed) testimony, more than my friends and most of my family. What now? Well for those of you that have had to call home from BYU and tell your parents that not only were you done with school but you were NOT going on a mission, well that can be awkward...
The next two years were awful. I saw the result of going from the golden child in an extremely TBM family, to the one who fell away. I began to second guess myself. At a certain point I became depressed and wanted out. And not only out of the church. I wanted out of me. Depression was something that was just NOT me. Was is because I left the church? After all, no one who leaves the church is EVER happy, remember?
About a year into my misery I discovered this site. I was hooked. There were others out there? That was a huge factor in coping with my new life. Eventually, and in a very sluggish manner, life got better. And then it was actually pretty good. I met the women who has since become my wife. I have come to term with myself and am finally out of the Cog Dis I had been experiencing.
I am currently and very recently resigned from the cult. I am back in school, a real one this time, and happily married. I have a great job and it seems that finally everything is going right in my life. Well ok, my puppy still sh!ts in the house occasionally. That bastard.. But I digress.
So I am currently considering telling my parents everything, and I mean everything. Im sure they would at least understand, if not follow me out. In the mean time I am living life and loving it. Im sure there are lots out there whose lives are in shambles because of something they can't control (the church being a sham).
So my only two suggestions would be these: Just keep going. It gets way easier. And lastly, realize that the mishies and morgbot visits don't stop easily. I was nice at first.. But at a certain point its harassment. My most effective reply thus far? Well when they show up smiling with a book of Moron in hand and say "Hi is muckformonism home?" reply with a simple "no, I'm not home" and slam the door. Ive yet to have them come back!