Posted by:
eloher
(
)
Date: September 18, 2010 01:15PM
It never came up when I was a member, so I have no experience with the attitudes or policies regarding transgendered individuals.
I'm asking because my husband has recently come to the conclusion that he should be a she. It's not actually too much of a surprise. He always was different from other men, never had guy friends. I'm more of a tomboy than him even. Lol! I enjoy the great outdoors, camping, sports, landscaping, woodworking, always did the home repairs, etc. None of that ever interested him.
I've had awhile to get used to the idea and am comfortable enough to talk about it in a safe place, where family members wouldn't find out. He's been going through childhood memories, and now recalls that he basically lived like a girl when at home, until he was about 6. He had a dress-up trunk and always wore dresses and wigs, and even had a girl's name he gave himself. At about 6, his parents took away his dress-up stuff that was girly, took away his dolls or any girly toys, and started making him play with other boys. He'd always preferred playing with girls. I've seen some home videos of him as a kid, and he was very effeminate, acting a lot like our own daughter.
So I know his parents stifled his female attributes and pushed him toward boy stuff. He's never had a good relationship with his father, a sports fan and outdoorsman. He would like to pursue gender therapy in the future, after he gets some health issues under control and loses weight. We've talked openly about it. His gender dysphoria isn't to the point where he's suicidal or anything, but he did come out of a huge funk after realizing this and accepting it. He's no longer escaping into video games and neglecting his body. He's more attentive, more nurturing, more help around the house and with the kids. He's a different person; a better person. He's trying to find a counselor right now that specializes in transgendered issues for him to see, and us to see as a couple too. He wants to take hormones eventually, wants to transition.
I'm scared to death of how this will affect his parents, his family relationships. I know his family were big supporters of Prop 8. They are very anti-gay too. If he transitions, it will mean that they have a daughter who is legally married to another woman and in a lesbian relationship. I don't think his folks could handle it in the least. His whole family on his mom's side are very Mormon; not a single jack or exmo in the bunch. Thankfully, his dad's side is more diverse. His uncle is a Methodist minister, but his congregation accepts everyone regardless of faith, gender, sexual orientation, etc. His aunt has lesbian aunts who attend and are close to his family. One of his uncle's kids is an atheist, like us too.
I'm really afraid that his family, at least his parents, grandparents, and mother's side will completely disown him.
Has anyone known a Mormon or former Mormon who is a transexual and has pursued transition? Does anyone know what the church's policy is on transgendered people and how that might affect his relationships with his family? Thanks.
TTFN,
Jenn