I've always been taught that the gospel brings peace and comfort.

As far back as I can remember, I was terrified of the dark (BIC). Even though my parents weren't overly superstitious, I was terrified of ghosts, scary movies, you name it! Even as a young adult, I didn't like being in the dark. I prayed every night that I wouldn't have that fear.

After realizing the church isn't true, the fear that haunted me is completely gone. There's nothing waiting for me in the dark. No unseen boogeymen waiting to "get me." I love the peaceful feeling my NEW testimony brings :)

Bravo! Reason trumps superstition.

'Tis so true. Same here!

I've got you right where I want you--heh, heh, heh.....

That's something a Mormon would never be able to comprehend. My current closest friend is as TBM as one can get. She believes everything 100%.

After I'd left for some time, she said, "You seem so much happier now." There was such confusion in her voice, because in her mind, that's not how it's supposed to be.

Many years ago, a friend of hers had been ex'd. He told her how awful it was to be without the companionship of the Holy Ghost. He felt its absence and it was like a vital part of him was missing. He told her to never take it for granted. She has related that story to me many times.

I think it even frightened me a little when I first left. I kept waiting for that bereaved feeling to come, but it never did.

So when I turned around and felt light and free, I know that really confused her.

Someone I know recently left the church. They had suffered from depression for much of their life. They are happier than I have ever seen them! So amazing.

I think you only feel the loss of the Holy Ghost if you believe it's real. It's a total placebo!

Love how you connected the dots like that!

Finally realizing that TSCC WASN'T "TRUE" gave me peace...no more guilt! Absolutely none. The TSCC related guilt [and there was a LOT of it] just went away.

that disappeared when I left, as well.

We were at a family reunion a few years ago, and one of my little nieces told my husband about how they had to avoid the dark shadows in the corners of where we were staying, and said something about evil spirits. My husband was so bothered that one of his siblings was teaching their poor kids to be superstitious and scared, instead of treating those natural childhood fears as just that . . . childhood fears. The parents are reinforcing the fears.

sP 1st counselor told me that I looked very happy but that it was not true happiness because that only comes from living the gospel. Mind you the only thing I did different was that I stopped attending church on Sundays. I told him I was living the same life, the same 'boring' life I always did, meaning without sin because that is what he implied. And I was happier. I think he was confused.

I'm with you. The peace, the relief, the freedom to be you, only come from 'leaving' the gospel not from 'living' it. =)

TBMs are so creative when it comes to twisting and contorting reality to be congruent with what they believe. There is no possible way a person could ever leave the church and be happy. However, they see no shortage of apostate sinners out living joy-filled, successful lives. They couldn't imagine a person choosing to live that way and still have joy in their lives, so they invent some reason that makes sense to them, and figure that it isn't "true" happiness. Happiness is happiness! How ridiculous to claim that another person's happiness isn't authentic because they are finding it from a different source than you are. As a TBM, I was always taught that Satan could influence our feelings and cause us to feel a certain way, but there were some emotions that Satan had no power to counterfeit; the emotions of peace and joy. So, I guess we can rule out those happy feelings coming from Satan!

Wonderful isn't it!?

I was scared out of my mind by stories like: If one of satan's followers come and want you to go with them, ask them to shake your hand. If they don't want to, then you'll know they are the devil's allies.....
and you must chase them away with raising your arm to the square and telling them to be gone in the name of christ...

I was just a child when I got taught that!.. I was terrified!!

And then the: it is better to die fighting off a rapist than to survive an attack without having fought hard enough..

So much fear...

and everytime I went to the temple, I was soooo scared that someone would see through me. That they would know instantly that I really wasn't worthy enough to be there..


Ugh..

Fear fear..

But no longer!
I am free!!

ha!

You know what I just remembered last night? I was taught by a leader (I think in seminary) that the idea that it is "better to die fighting off a rapist than to survive an attack without having fought hard enough" was wrong. That it wasn't the victim's fault and that it didn't mean they weren't pure.

At the time I thought it was nice that the church taught that. So I was amazed to learn that many leaders taught the exact opposite. I was just lucky to have a leader with some common sense. But I've had my fair share of crazy bad leaders too...