Here's what I don't understand about substituting curse words for watered down versions of curse words.

When someone says "fetch" instead of "fuck," your mind immediately consults its internal dictionary and you either subconciously or consciously understand that they're using the word "fetch" as a substitute for "fuck."

So when someone says the word "fetch" you still hear "fuck."

What's the point?

I've actually never heard someone use the word "fetch". Frigging is a lot more common.

Reminds me of a Louis CK bit where he's complaining when the news stations use the phrase "n-word" saying it's worse than actually saying the word because it causes him to translate "n-word" into what it really stands for, causing him to say the word to himself.

"Fetch" was used a lot when I was at BYU in the late 80s and early 90s. I heard it all the time then, but very little since.

He said spit for shit. It was so ridiculous. Finally had enough and said, "I believe the word you're looking for is shit."

This is very true. Even children do it.

I have innumerable nieces and nephews and they spend an inordinate amount of time trying to spot the "bad words." If they hear someone walking by in a m all say "damn" then they'll immediately report it to the closest person that someone said the d/f/b/s word. Most other kids don't even hear it and don't place such evil and badness on a word.

It's all pretty stupid since "fetch" in this context is still a cuss word but not as "evil" as F#%&. Makes no sense.

I swear like a sailor in the comfort of my own home and I don't tone it down in front of my child. Never have. You would think she would swear like a sailor too because of my influence, but she doesn't. She substitutes words sometimes, but I don't require her to. I work with a TBM though that uses substitute words unless she's REALLY mad.

Don't forget flip or flip pin as substitutes for the F word! My younger tbm sister at home uses them all the time! Yet she's fine with them using it in shows like "True Blood"!

"Oh My Heck", on the other hand, is ridiculous.

Every time I hear family say that I wanna bust up laughing! It's so ridiculous!

Unless it's "Oh my crap!" which I also occasionally heard living in Zion.

Or "what the crap".

CANNOT stand that one!!! My TBM BIL says it all the time.

I use crap, I think it's a fine word but yeah "oh my crap" is laughable.

or how about friggin' frick!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkUqOYT9dlc
I just watched this a couple days ago. The kid questions why he says freakin. He knows what he means.

1. The thing about smart mother fuckers is that sometimes,they sound like crazy mother fuckers to stupid mother fuckers.


2. The thing about smart mother fetchers is that sometimes,they sound like crazy mother fetchers to stupid mother fetchers.


Number one is correct grammar, number two sounds like sh!t.

I'm 70 years old. I love saying those things. I like making people think it through. I use oh my heck for the minor comedic effect regularly. It also reminds me of my roots and my age.

My TBM sister does the same thing.

You kids need to lighten the fuck up.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/18/2014 01:27PM by Heresy.

I was watching the aftershow for the Psych series finale and they had tweets running across the bottom.

Someone actually tweeted "Thank Gosh for Psych"
I almost fell off the couch laughing.

So what gives? My gma used to say "Oh my stars and garters!"

I think "oh my stars" is kind of cute. My TBM parents used to say "oh hells bells" I knew my dad was REALLY mad when he used the hells bells. My mom used it quite often though.

When somebody uses that around me I usually say, "oh come on, I know what you are wanting to say, just go for the gold".

The recent use of "Shut the front door!", in lieu of the properly phrased "Shut the fuck up!" Is novel, but like all the other dopey mo-swears it's a cheap imitation of the original and starting to get tiresome.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/18/2014 03:02PM by csuprovograd.

okay, this is kind of dated, but would British TBMs have recoiled from the Austin Powers movie "The Spy who Shagged Me" and called it "The Spy Who Fudged Me" instead?

And would that be worse??

For the love of kittens!!!!!Dang nabit! Cheese and rice!. Got dandruff and some of it itches!!!

The old man would say, "Dad gum it" when he screwed something up. My siblings and I changed it to "Dad gummed it."

When he hammered his thumb he'd yell "Zounds!" or "Zap!"

But when we said "Geez," he was furious and tried to ban "substitute swear words" even as they poured out of his own mouth with piss and vinegar.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/18/2014 05:45PM by donbagley.

I have a TBM acquaintance that says "Oh my spit!" which I am guessing means "oh my shit"? I hear "Oh shit" but why "oh my" I don't get.

Kolobian...did your email change?

Hey tiptoes, nope. i just rarely check that one. I'll look at it when I get home. Can't access from work and left my galaxy in the car :)

Its quite amusing when someone uses the word 'frig' as a mild substitute for a 'proper' swear word. what do they think 'frig' means?

When the fantastic comedy show, Father Ted, was commissioned, they had were not allowed to use the word 'fuck' and had to substitute the word 'Feck',,, that, to me, is the ultimate idiocy. who do they think was fooled by that substitution.

[and, BTW, isnt 'crap' a swear word in it's own right?]

In my mormon household growing up, we had some complicated rules about swearing. My siblings and I were taught explicitly (and repeatedly) that "damn" and "hell" were not swear words, though "damnit" was. "Dick" wasn't, as long as you were using it in a joke or a pun or to describe a person instead of a penis. "Ass" was a swear word, but "arse" was not - however, you could get away with "ass" if you were trying to be funny. The rules for "bitch" were complicated, somewhat arbitrary, and could change with my mother's mood, so it was a word best avoided altogether. "Sh:t" was only to be used in extreme circumstances, such as if you stubbed your toe or melted a chapstick in the clothes dryer.

And yet my mother got furious if we said "shut up".

gosh golly and gee whiz...has any non-TBM actually said that since 1953?

I've never had much use for swear words.

I guess I'm able to articulate fairly well without them.

I swear like a trooper.

Though I will use the word "heck" sometimes. But not as a substitute word.

Incidentally, crap is an interesting word with a couple of meanings.

I wonder if it is a back forming from the word Crapper, for lavatory?

This name comes from Thomas Crapper, who it is claimed, invented the modern Water Closet or WC.

His firm is still in existence http://www.thomas-crapper.com/history04.asp

I have seen a piece of Victorian cast iron pipework bearing the words: Thomas Crapper and Company Ltd affixed to a wall.