Posted by:
schmowned
(
)
Date: April 23, 2014 08:24PM
original thread:
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1243915,1243915#msg-1243915I just sent this email to the bishop. This should get interesting.
Bishop xxxxxxxxx:
Thank you for calling me last week to discuss this. I have taken a few days to think about our conversation. I am disappointed and saddened at your decision to exclude me from an interview you wish to conduct, alone, in a small room with a minor, especially given your experience as a lawyer. I feel more strengthened in my resolve to sit in on my son's priesthood interview.
I have combed through the current Handbook for Stake Presidents and Bishops and can't find any guidelines on this topic. Is it a local decision to not let me sit in on an interview with my child? Is this a common policy in most stakes? It's mind boggling to me that scouting has a "2 deep rule," it's church policy to have 2 teachers in a room when instructing minors, but for some reason there is less chance for verbal/physical abuse if the lone adult in a room with a minor is a bishop.
xxxxxxx is my child. I am responsible for his physical, mental, and emotional safety. Allowing him to meet with a stranger, unsupervised, is irresponsible. For a parent to grant an added measure of trust because somebody is an authoritative religious figure is a dangerous cliche (insert priest/alter boy reference). Furthermore, I find it contemptuous and rather insulting for religious leaders to assume they offer a service that serves a need greater than "avoiding the appearance of evil," by being alone in a room with a minor with the intent of asking personal questions, including those of a sexual nature without another witness present (especially if that witness is a legal guardian who has specifically requested attendance).
Another reason I want to be in the interview is because of my own experiences in these same interviews when I was a teenager. I remember sitting in front of an authority figure, like a bishop, who represented himself as a literal representative of the one true God. I gave the bishop any answer he wanted to hear because I was a bit intimidated. If the bishop asked me if I masturbated I said "no," even though I did, just as you did and just as any other teenage boy did at that age. If the bishop asked me if I knew Joseph Smith was a prophet I said, "yes," even though I knew nothing about him beyond what I had been told in Sunday school.
If my boy participates in this interview I want him to feel as comfortable as possible answering questions honestly and without fear of rejection. Something is wrong if children are taught that speaking to a bishop privately about heavy topics like whether or not Thomas Monson is a prophet or whether or not they adhere to the Mormon definition of chastity is a safer, more appropriate environment than having a parent or trusted adult present when such questions are asked.
If you feel I should be allowed in this interview, I challenge you to stand up to the stake president and express your opinion. Let the consequence follow. Do the right thing.
Until you allow me to be a part of this interview, I ask that you ensure no LDS representative be allowed to speak with my children privately relative to worthiness for priesthood or young women's advancement, which includes pulling them aside in a hallway or in a classroom corner. I will feel comfortable that my children have been sufficiently schooled and prepared to handle these interviews on their own once they are legal adults.
Thanks.
xxxxxxx