I'm in my late twenties left the church a year ago and have a family reunion this summer to which I will be bringing my never mo girlfriend to. Here's part of my moms response when I asked if it was okay to bring my gf.

"It's fine if [girlfriend] joins us!...Some of our activities will be church-related but I don't think [girlfriend] will be bothered by it. Also because it's a family event and we'll have a lot of little kids around (and some of the older boys are starting to notice and comment on what girls wear), it would be good if [girlfriend] could wear a one-piece swim suit, or she could even just wear a t shirt or tank and shorts to swim in. That also means you probably shouldn't wear your leopard pattern speedo! JK"

It's none of her business what your GF wears.

^^^ yup.

Your gf's t-shirt, wet after swimming, would give the older boys more of an eyeful than a simple bikini!

she should wear a thin white tshirt and bikini bottoms...YOW!

themed reunion, but she can't wear a 2-piece.

When I hear mothers talk like this--it makes me wonder where their own minds are. Are they always THIS FOCUSED on sex?

Yes, the Mormon religion is all about the control of others. It will be good for your girlfriend to learn early on what a f**ked up religion you left.

Reply "thanks for your input" and do whatever the hell you want, including wearing your leopard print speedo.

Tell your girlfriend to wear what she always wears. She shouldn't have to change to please judgmental assholes.

I know my husband's family hates that I wear a bikini to family events. That is their problem not mine.

As is your girlfriend's bikini your family's hang up not hers.

Your GF could have a 2-piece tankini or sport suit that could be very modest.

Good grief. All I can say is it's nobody's business. If it's held in a public place, she can wear whatever she wants (and you can don the Speedo); however, if this reunion is taking place in a private home, she should comply. She could wear the bikini top with some swim shorts, since that seems to be acceptable. Not sure how it changes all that much, but hey, she's following the rules. Plan on wearing a flimsy white t-shirt that is mighty see-through when wet - still following the rules. :) A t-shirt that shows off the cleavage, oh my! Pretty lame. I would be surprised if she's the only one who wears a two-piece.

Part of the swimming activities will be at a private place and another half at a public place.

Tell her, "that's fine as long as you promise not to wear your temple garments. My girlfriend as a non-member finds these to be cultish and offensive..... Actually, to keep it simple, let's just both agree to not interfere with each other's dress code."

+1 perfect!

I took my gf to the beach once with my parents and see wore a bikini and see looked good!

I already tried to tell my gf to not wear a short skirt to a company party where her boss is very TBM. She didn't wear the skirt but she still gives me flack about it because there were a lot of other people wearing barely nothing.

Take your leopard print speedo and tell everyone that your mother insisted that you wear it. :)

I promise if you do, no one will notice your girlfriends bikini.

Ask your mom if she would prefer your GF to wear the only the top or the bottom piece. Which would be her preference?

Bite Me Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ask your mom if she would prefer your GF to wear
> the only the top or the bottom piece. Which would
> be her preference?

I love this!!!!!

:D

Don't show up. Don't tell mom before hand.

After the family reunion is over, send your mom a note.

"Dear Mom, you obviously can't be trusted not to humiliate yourself with your inappropriate need to control what other people wear.

I would hope that a family reunion would be an event where one could socialize with a group of people that aren't going to judge someone by what they wear.

We have plenty of people in our lives who see us as something more than the clothes on our back.

If our family is unable to do this, then we won't be attending family functions any further."

There is no reason for your girlfriend to make any accomodations for swim wear. And chances are there will be others at your reunion wearing bikinis too. If anyone says something to her about it, to shame her, all the better for her to know not to even consider joining such a crazy-ass cult. Nothing like a dose of judgmentalism to turn someone off to it. She needs to be accepted for who she is, not as some mock-up wannabe Mormon. And I take it she is an adult, so there.

If your mother wants to dictate her fashion choices, I'd tell both women you're not comfortable exposing her to such a hostile environment.

It's up to you to protect your wife from this kind of meddling. Might as well make a point of it now before it escalates.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/03/2014 01:56PM by Cheryl.

+1

Bravo, Cheryl!

If your mother has put this reunion together and she wants to dictate a dress code then fine. That's her deal. I'd refuse to go, but I wouldn't do it quietly. If you've got the stones stand up for yourself and for your girlfriend and tell you mother you can't agree with her terms so you won't be attending.

Then take your girlfriend out and do something you'll actually enjoy.

Let your girlfriend make that decision! She knows how your mom feels and it's up to her if she wants to comply.

When I swim at my MIL's pool, I comply with her rules. When we all went to Hawaii together, I wore a bikini. I know they didn't like it, but I didn't care.

It's common courtesy to comply with house rules. Out in public is a different story.

Tell your mom that GF had been planning to wear jeans and a sweatshirt to the reunion, but if they'd rather see her in a bathing suit, you guess she would be okay with that.

Sheesh.

"Thanks, Mom. On second thought, I don't think we'll be able to attend the reunion. Have fun."

Mom is asking on behalf of the dudes who think they can't control themselves around an 'immodest' woman. Fuck them.

The boys she is referring to are my nephews, the oldest is 11 and I'm pretty sure his balls haven't dropped yet.

Ask Mom if she plans to PAY for the suit. If she already owns one, she should NOT have to pay for another.

Actually, one piece swim/bathing suits are in style. They are making a big splash again!

As a female, I was always cognizant of appropriate dress for the event. Was it dressy, casual, cocktail dress, jeans, shorts, etc. etc. We often talked among ourselves: what are you wearing? I thought women still did that. In fact, I know that many do.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/03/2014 02:25PM by SusieQ#1.