Posted by:
dogzilla
(
)
Date: June 16, 2014 04:10PM
First, may I remind you:
http://www.postmormon.org/exp_e/index.php?URL=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postmormon.org%2Fexp_e%2Findex.php%2Fpomopedia%2FGod_holds_little_girls_responsible%2F%22++title%3D%22God_holds_little_girls_responsibleThis ain't nuthin' new. At all.
Second, to the OP: THIS WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. You are still "good." You have not lost anything. You are still a moral person of good virtue. Do not let anyone ever tell you otherwise.
Third, I completely and totally support your decision to drop it. It is not your job to prevent this kid from raping again. The crime was reported by your therapist. YOU ARE DONE. You have done all you can do.
I know people think you should be going after this kid with both guns blazing, but I have been there and I know exactly what you are going through. You don't have to do jack shit if you don't want to. We both know what could happen: You go through all this, present all your evidence, re-live the entire thing in a courtroom, probably multiple times... and you'll be slut-shamed and victim blamed. You will be blamed for ruining HIS life. You may even be sanctioned by your bishop, as I was. You may have trouble getting in to BYU. I don't know. Depends on who gets to write your recommendations when the time comes and if the same bishop is in place then.
And frankly, I don't think it's worth all that, seeing as how the statistic is that 97% of all rapists never see the inside of a jail cell. This is still a patriarchal rape culture and you are still operating within the patriarchal church, in which you have no voice and no rights.
To the rest of you: This is not an episode of Special Victims Unit where the victim goes crying to the police, they investigate, there's a trial, and it's all wrapped up in 40 minutes with the perpetrator going off to jail, never to rape again. Again, 97% of the time, it doesn't play out like that AT ALL. All you are doing is making yourself a target for retaliation. Again.
IF she's lucky and her parents aren't assholes like my parents are assholes, they won't try to convince her that she's a dirty, dangerous, slut who had it coming and whom no good, kind, decent, righteous man will ever want. Maybe times are different now. I hope so. But for all these reasons, I'd let it lie as well -- I don't blame her one bit for not wanting to move forward. You reported it to those whom it needed to be reported. That's enough.
I would apply to schools other than BYU and try to find schools with really great programs in the fields you're interested in. I got parental support to NOT go to BYU because I wanted to major in Journalism, so I chose one of the top ten journalism schools in the country. BYU was not only not on that list, but they aren't even in the top 100 for journalism.
Oh, and also: www.rainn.org. Might help a little. Love to you.