Posted by:
havetobeanonthistime
(
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Date: August 07, 2014 12:38PM
long-time regular viewer, occasional poster here, just being anon to avoid the very slight risk of identifying the characters in this post:
I have a 5 year old son about to enter kindergarten who has been in the same daycare/pre-school since he was 10 weeks old. Another boy has been there just as long, but hasn't gone during this summer. His mom called me a couple months back asking to arrange for the two to play together since her son missed his friends. The boys attended each other's birthday parties, and I have known the parents (though not really well) for a few years, and had no substantial concerns with it, except to make sure he was safe form guns or dogs, both present at the house. With those concerns alleviated, it was a go-ahead. My son went there at times to play and swim, and on some evenings including dinner. He has probably spent a combined 15 hours of time at the boy's house over the last several weeks. I knew this family was Catholic, but having been raised Catholic myself (not religious now) and expecting that their observance of it was fairly casual and to themselves, I didn't expect anyone's beliefs to be a divisive factor among 5-year-old boys.
Well, that's all over now. I received a message from the mom telling me first that my son has had trouble following rules and directions at their house, and that he sometimes ignores her son. That doesn't surprise me - he's not the greatest at those things at home either. I have no problem that she told me that, though without knowing exactly what rules she was referring to, I'm not going to pass harsh judgment on my son. He could always use some re-inforcement about respect and listening to others, so we'll work on that when I can see it.
What floored me was the next paragraph in her message:
"...Unfortuantely this last Monday <her son> was talking to <my son> about Jesus and <my son> became upset and went to <her adult daughter watching the kids> and said '<her son> is talking about Jesus and I don't want to hear it. Tell him to stop.'. My daughter was quite upset as was I when she called me and asked me what to do. I spoke to <her son> over the phone and told him to play something else and we would talk when I got home. <her son> was very upset."
next paragraph in message:
"I always teach my children to stand up for what they believe. Yet I also teach them to be respectful in someone elses home. Well this is there [sic] home and I will not stiffel [sic] them. They love the Lord and praise him. I have done a lot of searching for an answer and at this time I feel it is in my family's best interest to end the playdates."
I think now I know one reason why my son was ignoring her son. Had I known I was sending him to church, I would have put an end to it sooner. I'm looking forward to talking about the experience with my son. Yes, I'm sure there is some truth to him being averse to the rules of their house, but I'm also glad he spoke up for himself, even if the other adult there wasn't sympathetic to his view. I'm sorry for him that he had to lose a friend over this.