Posted by:
icedtea
(
)
Date: August 21, 2014 12:37AM
If they are wooing new supply (or trying to get old supply back), they can be very charming, romantic, and sweet -- and great at hiding their real selves -- up to a point.
I dated a narc for a year before we married; I thought I knew him. After the ceremony, he became controlling, angry, demanding, impatient, entitled, paranoid, suspicious, moody, passive-aggressive, and eventually very contemptuous. Things got worse as time went on.
Red flags:
If they do anything for you, they expect pretty immediate praise, rewards, or something from you in return. If they don't get it soon, they become cranky.
Watch how they treat other people, especially ones they don't have to be nice to or interested in.
Listen to how much they talk about themselves, what they want, what they think, etc. If, when you talk, they nod, smile, and murmur "Mm-hmm" every so often, they are faking attention. If they do this a lot and haven't the foggiest idea what you said, you have a narc.
Watch to see if they also behave this way with others.
They are experts at everything. They are always right, even if you prove them wrong. If you do prove them wrong, they will accuse you of always having to be right. They expect you to take their advice and bow to their superior wisdom.
They want sex on their terms. They might try to please you, but only to reaffirm to themselves that they are great lovers. They think they're great in bed, no matter how lousy they really are, and expect praise every time.
They think everyone wants them.