Invited to a mormon wedding reception at a Wheeler Farm for a young couple. I believe the girl is 19! Anyway, what can I expect in regards to what to wear, food, entertainment... Dancing? I'm surprised the invitation lists the event as lasting only TWO hours? Maybe we should eat before.

Any good Mormon wedding stories out there? I've never been to one.

ETA: I forgot to mention that we weren't even invited to the actual wedding. What's even weirder is that the wedding isn't until the next day! So we will be celebrating an event that has not happened yet. Is this common around here?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/23/2014 02:18PM by brook.

I'd call someone that you know is going and ask some questions.

Mormon receptions can run the gamut. I've been to some that were very elaborate, catered-lots of food, hired DJ, dancing, etc.

Others are simple: receiving line, cutting the cake, no meal, no dancing.

If it's outdoors it's usually more informal. Although, most LDS men would be in a suit and tie and women in a dress.

Indoors, a dress, or suit or more professional attire.

Often, if it's short, it's because they have have to make an airline flight, or get to another event, or something else. Or the venue is only rented for 2 hours. Hard to know.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/23/2014 02:12PM by SusieQ#1.

"Others are simple: receiving line, cutting the cake, no meal, no dancing."

The mormon guys all looked like they were going to church. No inviduality.

The one I went to had no food, some drinks (non-alcoholic of course)
and was at 6:00 on a Thurs, after work.

There was a build your own ice-cream sunday bar which would have been appropriate for a 9yr old's birthday party

Hello! While many Mormon receptions are very short and simple others are like any other wedding. Dress code is very important though. A good note is to wear what you would wear to church. It is very unlikely that you will be involved or invited inside of a temple for the marriage ceremony if you are not a Mormon. My family have a tradition to go more or less hang out in the temple grounds until the newly wed couple comes out of the temple. But, to know for sure, it's always best to ask the people who are hosting the reception to know exactly what is going to happen.

THAT WOULD BE SO INSULTING to any guest to ‘hang outside’ the wedding!!! Yes, Mormons believe they have the ONLY true Christianity....not Christian!

There will probably be a reception line and no dancing. I would not expect a meal. Most Utah receptions are cake and punch.Most people will dress up(dressy,but not evening attire) but you may find a few in very casual attire.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/23/2014 02:13PM by bona dea.

So it's probably not meant as a fun evening to enjoy the couple and their friends/family? Cake and punch... Why bother? Just kidding. But seriously, if it appears lame, we will just drop off our gift and go to a nice dinner. No use getting dressed up for nothing.

For the mormon-themed wedding/reseption I went to, myself and others, left and went to a mexican place to eat dinner, since no food was served

As Susie Q said,it could be different. Some depends on the finances of the parents.If they are well off,you can expect more.

Is it here?

http://www.wheelerfarm.com/


Hmmm, didn't show they have wedding venues.

Must be a local farm, that it? There is no city named Wheeler in UT. Or is this another state?



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/23/2014 02:28PM by SusieQ#1.

Yes,it is in Murray. I didnt know they do weddings either,but they do have a lovely old farmhouse.

SusieQ#1 Wrote:
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> Is it here?
>
> http://www.wheelerfarm.com/
>
>
> Hmmm, didn't show they have wedding venues.
>
> Must be a local farm, that it? There is no city
> named Wheeler in UT. Or is this another state?

Under Rental they have this:

Wheeler Historic Farm is an ideal location for your special event, wedding, retreat or meeting.

MOST LDS wedding receptions are pretty lame. They often only have cake and punch. No dinner. No assigned seating. No dancing or music. Basically what happens is the bride and groom stand in the front of the room as people form a line to shake their hands and congratulate them.

You just stand around chatting with whoever as you drink your punch and eat your cake. After an hour or two people start to get bored and make their way out.

Not that some Mormons don't have a regular fun reception with music, dancing and dinner, but I wouldn't count on it. I would try to get some info on it otherwise you will end up STARVING for two hours.

Oh yeah, they are often very informal. People don't often dress up. Many people show up in dockers or jeans with no ties. I would still dress up, because you should! but don't be surprised if most are in just in their khackis.

Most Mormon wedding receptions are informal, and just have cake and punch, so I would suggest eating lunch or dinner before going to the reception.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/23/2014 02:29PM by adoylelb.

Wheeler Farm is in the Midvale/Fort Union area around 900 E near I-215 and yes they host wedding gigs. Been to a wedding there.

It's likely not to be as good as something you'd expect in West Virginia. Think low class.

If it's in the cultural hall, dress up like Mormon's do for church on Sunday. In the park, a little more casual. Do not show skin though, you will feel like a pariah. If it's at someone's house or a country club and they don't say how to dress on the invitation (i.e., formal, semi-formal, business casual); see if you can get for info, if not, just go with the "church" outfit. That will pretty much get you through any Mormon social occasion.

Don't expect much, Mormon wedding receptions are not exactly big time parties, even the formal ones.

Yes, I feel very confident with the guidelines above having been raised LDS and gone to dozens of LDS receptions at various locals. Go with the park look for this one and plan something more fun for after. : )

Mormon receptions = expensive gift drop off

How weird that it's before the wedding. I've never heard of that. I guess a lot of our gifts were sent before we got married, but what are you celebrating if they aren't even married yet?

Exactly! Maybe they want to have sex as soon as possible after the temple thing. Why waste time and be distracted with a silly reception. they've found a way to make the marriage even more about having sex.

My husband said they'll probably serve nut cups and jello. We plan to make a dinner reservation and haul out of there soon after dropping off the gift -surely the reason we were invited.

I have an employee who was LDS (now inactive though not resigned) who once attended a reception on a Thursday at a nice local hotel; sit-down dinner was included. She said one reason was to obtain better midweek rates, rather than pay premium rates for a Saturday reception, in particular when most of the guests can't attend the reception anyway.

Hotel ballrooms that are busy Fri-Sat-Sun with charity and life events often sit unused Mon-Thurs. If doing this enabled the family to provide a nicer reception on Thursday than what would have been financially within reach on a weekend, no big deal.

Have also heard of midweek sealings rather than on Saturday, especially if most of the sealing list guests live nearby. Most Judeo-Christian weddings are on weekends, in deference to the needs of the guests, all of whom are expected to attend the ceremony AND the reception.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/02/2019 06:34PM by PtLoma.

The wedding is the next day?
Is it in the temple? or?

I would just dress to go out to a nice dinner place .... after the reception. Just stop by and deliver the gift and say best wishes....can't really congratulate them yet. ;)

Be sure and post an update after this 2 hour event.

They may have candies & peanuts too.....cake & punch for sure.

What time is this event to take place? Make your own fun plans for before or after.....

KJ/AnonyMs

Yes, the marriage vows (can you call it that?) are the next day at the SL temple. So two hour reception on Friday and temple on Saturday. It's all very strange to me. The couple won't even go home together after the reception. They'll be like, "bye, meet you at the temple tomorrow!"



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/24/2014 11:28AM by brook.

I don't go Mormon receptions. Not invited to their weddings, count me out on the receptions. Simply. Not. Interested.

Their private only exclusive weddings are illegal in most European countries where the declaration and vows must be public.

It sounds more like one of the meet-and-greet types of receptions, although I've never heard of a reception happening before the wedding. That's weird. It's a new one on me.

Anyway, you just sort of drop in and greet the new couple and there may be snacks. But their still could be sandwiches or something.

I agree with SusieQ#1. I'd call someone part of the organizing of the event and ask them what to expect. Just explain that you're not sure what to expect and you just wanted to make sure that you dressed appropriately and if you should eat beforehand.

If you just explained that you're not sure what to expect, then I'm sure they'd be happy to answer your questions.

Ok, so I called a close friend of the bride and expressed my concerns. Turns out dress is anything goes and there will be people in their Sunday best as well as khakis/more informal attire. She said to plan on our own dinner before or after, and that there will be strawberry shortcake and fruit salad available.

The reason for the ceremony the next day is so the couple can focus on the sealing and the sacredness of the day, as well as each other, and then leave for a hotel at some honeymoon suite.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/24/2014 12:37PM by brook.

There is a new trend among some of the younger generation thta I have read about to do a fun reception before or after the temple sealing and include much of the traditional parts of a wedding that is showing up from time to time in the LDS Church.
Sometimes it's a way to include more of their non LDS family and friends.

Give us an update? OK?

brook Wrote:
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> The reason for the ceremony the next day is so the
> couple can focus on the sealing and the sacredness
> of the day, as well as each other, and then leave
> for a hotel at some honeymoon suite.

What bunch of malarky.

I will definitely post an update next week. Perhaps you are correct and there will be dancing and a good time!

Typical Mormon receptions are lame. But the temple marriage ceremony is lame too.

Bride's dress covered up by the weird temple gown. Groom wearing a weird outfit with a baker's hat. No music, no flowers, no dad proudly walking his daughter down the aisle (no parents at all if they aren't worthy Mormons), no ring exchange, no personal vows, no pictures, and no mention of love, honor, or cherish.

Little food if any and the whole thing about having the reception prior to the matter is totally absurd.

And if you weren't invited to the ceremony in the

It's been a few years since we last attended a TBM mormon reception; I wonder if they still serve that special frothy punch made of sherbet and sprite? That, along with the sacrament cup sized cup of mixed nuts?

I've been told that it's greatly appreciated if you shout Pay Lay Ale three times during the toast. It's the Mormon way of saying God be with you. If anyone comes over to you that is visibly upset, then pantomime that you're slashing your throat. Members have been conditioned by that visual cue as a way to back-off and chill. :D

messygoop Wrote:
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> I've been told that it's greatly appreciated if you shout Pay Lay Ale three times

Ha ha Messy you are trying to get them in trouble!

I'm guessing the invitation specified "two hours" at Wheeler Farm because from their website that is the minimum time allowed to rent the hall. So they are spending $200 on the venue and want to make sure everyone is out so they don't have to pay for any overage on their time. I'm guessing you will go in, drop off the gift, be handed something on a plate and encouraged to quickly go on your way!

I am looking forward to a complete update when you return!!!

The reception was 5 years ago. A complete update now is highly unlikely.

Wheeler Farm is still there, and is a lovely venue. Beats using the cultural hall, and putting crepe paper around the basketball hoops

Brother Of Jerry Wrote:
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> The reception was 5 years ago. A complete update now is highly unlikely.

Aha! You're right! This is a very old post, wonder why it all of a sudden got on the first page???

What are the odds that they are still married?

Or still mormon!

I never understood the basketball hoops. For decades, those things have been retractable, so what classless nitwit leaves them out? Í've seen them post-weddings and (undecorated) post-funerals.

I'd wear something on the dressy side and plan to go out for dinner after a short visit. If the reception turns out to have food and music, I might cancel the later dinner plan, but this is unlikely.

"we will be celebrating an event that has not happened yet. Is this common [in Mormonism]?"

Yes.

Mormonism celebrates the truth... and that hasn't happened yet either.

It's hard to say. Show us the budget and then we can have are more informed opinion on what to expect.

I have found Mormon wedding receptions and Mormon funerals to be on in the same.

They usually are for the women, at least.

Ha!

Advice: Don't go, but if you have/need to, don't plan on staying long.
If you want to stay long, socialize, etc, and need to "deal" with a large group of "celebrating mormons", bring a flask w/vodka because they won't smell the vodka on your breath..

As a gift, always bring a nice bottle of high-grade Chianti.

Hi! I'm still here! Been around since 2002/3. The wedding was beautiful and a nice time. There was dancing and a good DJ. I wore what I'd wear to church if I were a mormon. There wasn't a full meal, but some personal touches that were nice. I probably wouldn't go to another mormon wedding. I did feel strange that the two getting married were kids and their friends were kids. All very juvenile behavior it seemed

Thanks for the report, Brook! I find it strange that couples have their reception before the wedding. But I'm somewhat old fashioned about that.

I don't think that was normal in Mormon culture. Every one that I attended occurred after the wedding and or sealing.

I’ve seen really elaborate weddings where the couple is sealed in the Temple and those who can’t go in, wait outside and all cheer when the couple comes out. A reception follows with cake, dancing, food, like it’s really a jam up party without the alcohol of course. Some even have a little ring ceremony because you can’t exchange rings in the Temple. Some are outside, others in a reception hall. Then there’s some that are really low key. It might just be food and mingling. My friend had to wait 6 years before they could get sealed. They were married by a Protestant pastor because they had been both excommunicated at the time because they had made love to each other outside of marriage and before his divorce was finalized. They confessed it and were excommunicated and then came back to TSCC and got sealing clearances and were sealed. Their wedding was really low key. Married outside, no music, just the cutting of cake and popping open some sparkling grape juice and everyone went home. Wear church attire regardless because that’s what TSCC expects no matter how or wear they are married or what kind of reception they have.

Hey there catholicrebel,

This wedding and post were from 2014, resurrected a month ago by an apologist. I think it is far too late to give the OP advice on what to wear!!! ;)

Those darn minions! :-p I didn’t notice at all. Darn. Welcome intruder. Haha.

catholicrebel Wrote:
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> Those darn minions! :-p I didn’t notice at all.
> Darn. Welcome intruder. Haha.

Yeah. When it was first resurrected I answered it too and somebody told me the date. Ah well you gave good advice anyway for what it’s eorth!!! :)

fine.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/15/2019 03:14PM by lulu.

Wheeler Farm ? WTF ? You can't even bring your basketball.