Posted by:
JudgmentalJudgersAbound
(
)
Date: August 25, 2014 06:12PM
Have to get this out, because I have been screaming in my head about it all day, and need some peace.
Daughter goes to college ward.
Daughter had a rough month, and went in to ask if he could help with a dental payment (under $200.00).
Bishop tells daughter that the stake president just told him that there college ward asks for more money than any other ward, and they just plain have the money (HELL....malls, etc.). Grrr.
Soooooo.......shames her by saying these things which royally pissed me off. O.k. So you can't afford 200.00. No problem, HOWEVER
1. Why are you asking?? Why doesn't your mom work and is paying this? A. I had been ill and had surgeries, and have aggressively been looking for the past month. Trust me, I'd rather work than deal with this.
B. The bill was HERS. She is 19 and a half. I pay my bills, and he is asking why I don't pay this. She just wanted some stress relief and a food order.
He says he will help her with food, but don't get any for your mom. She will have to do that with her own bishop. WTH? It is coming from the same place either way. I don't really care, as I am fine with my canned food and such, but how demeaning and rude. I thought we took care of others??????
THE BIG PROBLEM:
He then proceeds to ask if she is living the law of chastity. WHAT? She was asking about her finances and for a blessing.
She is one of those kids that is shy and has not done anything, and this talk embarrasses her.
He told her that if she was doing everything right, we would not have financial problems. He asked if she was reading scriptures, doing all she could, and said hmmm, there must be something.
What in the hell. I was sick and lost my job. I have been a great single mother and it all fell apart this year. I am mad that we have to feel guilty after all these years of paying tithing.
This broke the shelf for both her and I. It has been faltering, but she came home in tears and anger (this is very unlike her). He then proceeds to tell her that she should have the music information ready for next week (she calls to ask for musical numbers).
Tell daughter to tell him how she feels, as she has his text.
She texted him that she no longer wants the calling, and was offended that he would call her out with her chastity.
Honest to hell, he left a voice message, and said, "I obviously said something to offend you. I never would want to do that. I don't want to do this over text. I love you". what the all freaking mighty hell. I have heard you guys tell stories like this and I wouldn't know if I believed it because it seemed so out there and rude.
I have now experienced it, and am so appalled. If the goal is to get the pesky single mothers out, then they are doing great. How in the hell can he not know how he offended her. I won't help you with a bill, or help your mom. I will demean her for not having a job right this minute, and then I will say you must be having sex or whatnot.
I was so heartbroken. She cried for an hour and has been angry all day. She is not an angry girl, so what can I do that would best calm her soul. I have been angry a lot, so I told her it is o.k. to feel these feelings, but don't let them ruin your life. We will get by without the help. I have two more job interviews tomorrow, so cross your fingers.
Anyways, after NOT answering her phone, and not returning his call, he came to our door with his wife (we peeked out the curtains) and stood there for five minutes and then went to our next door neighbor. How RUDE and intrusive. I will not help you with a SMALL amount of money (compared to what the church has and spends), yet now I will bug you since you don't want me to bug you.
HELP!!!! I am so angry and never felt more humiliated. I can't believe my sweet girl had to go through that embarrassment and humiliation of her soul.