Posted by:
peculiargifts
(
)
Date: January 29, 2015 07:20PM
Hi,
Your situation is a very difficult one. It's terribly hard to think about doing things that might hurt the people you love. Many of us have faced that, in one way or another, and it is never easy.
Two things that stand out to me --- your husband doesn't want to leave you, but you think he may feel that you "don't want to be with him forever." That Mormon belief that only TSCC has the way for families (or any people who love each other) to be together in eternity is one of the worst things about the church, to me.
It might help a bit if you could talk to him about the simple fact that many, many religions hold that loved ones will be together in the afterlife. It is not really exclusive to Mormonism. The only thing exclusive to Mormonism is the idea that you have to do special things in order to assure it. Most people who believe in an afterlife also believe that love and compassion are entirely enough to allow you (and him) to be with loved ones forever.
Another thing that might help is to read SusieQ#1's post on staying together with a true believer. She is a person who made it work well, so it might be useful for you, too. Her post can be found at
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1274642,1274642#msg-1274642Who knows, maybe if you printed it and gave it to your husband, it might help him, too.
Otherwise, just let him know that you love him as often as possible, in whatever ways might be helpful. With any luck, you might be able to find a way to navigate the really hard stuff, like how to raise children, together.