Posted by:
anonforthisq
(
)
Date: March 24, 2015 07:30PM
My boyfriend is wonderful to me, but sometimes he also flirts, often without even knowing. I really love him and want to stay with him, and I'm not sure if it's just my own insecurity.
One major instance I can use to illustrate the point: We went to a work event of his (I work at the same professional theatre but not in the same department, so he knew more of the people, and he's much more extroverted than I am so I felt nervous in general) and he had worked on a show with two of the women there that he knew. After the event we were at a cocktail party of sorts (still at the venue) and he told one of them, who is an actress and just got her graduate degree in acting, that she couldn't play the 'ingenue' in future roles, but she could play the sidekick who's actually secretly 'the hot one' that everyone is really into. She giggled and looked flattered. He then talked to another woman and bantered back and forth with her, who he's told me before that he's attracted to, and ignored me while he did it and didn't mention me to her, and then turned to me and told me an anecdote in which he told me she's 'really pretty' and 'the most innocent little thing.'
What irritated me about this was that he also, in both of these instances, didn't mention me or act like I was by his side, and focused entirely on the woman in front of him. I know they're not crushing examples, but it still made me feel embarrassed and like I was just the sidekick to his flirting. I love him and want to be with him and I want to feel secure. I don't know whether I should let it go--when I've tried to talk to him about this before, it's usually ended in a fight, and he's said that he doesn't think it's flirting--or bring it up with him, or if I even have a right to be upset. I know I can be sensitive and I'm very introverted and reserved, so I don't talk to people this way, and I certainly wouldn't in front of him--I tend to take a backseat to him in public situations. Maybe it's just my own insecurity. I'd just like another perspective on this.