1st get the medical issues dealt with... she may have some physical issues associated with this. I mean aside from obesity.
The doctor can prescribe a weight loss program that is not a starvation diet.
She may be afraid of starvation diets because they do cause people to be even more tired with even less energy. And they cause people to be grouchy. I've been on a starvation diet and they are awful. They make people so hungry that they binge and that defeats everything.

I lost weight the slow steady way which is easier and causes less fatigue.

But a doctor is the first stop before getting the diet planned. If she hates exercise that involves sweating, have her go swimming. It is much more fun and you stay cool and it doesn't hurt the joints.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/27/2015 05:51PM by verilyverily.

Slow and steady is the only practical solution. A doctor may be able to prescribe a fat blocker like Xenical to get one started on eating right. I lost 150 lbs. that way. I'm still obese but had I not lost the weight I would be in a wheelchair and would have not been a candidate for new knees which was life changing surgery.

RB

I second going to a great diagnostician make a consultation and Ask about side effects or rx over the counter or prescribed
Which might increase :
Relaxation, sleepiness, muscle relaxation
Which inhibit moving
For instance, allergy and breathing rx may have
Surprising side effects - one inhaler acted as muscle relaxer
Couldn't move
One nasal spray for allergies sedated some people for the whole 24 hour dose

A consultation can uncover unexpected stuff- so many rx interactions with food or supplements, for instance:

Did you know taking your calcium pill with your thyroid replacement is not a very good idea- idealistic good intention
Ouch up 35 lbs doing that
And,
Did you know being on a grapefruit a day for weight loss for breakfast when taking your thyroid replacement - lowers your thyroid further - another idealists great intention gone awry
Ouch
Up 10 lbs doing that

There's so many reasons why to explore, it's so refreshing to know there's reasons why Knowing why or guessing why, then there's less futile ess and something to try.

Well, if you are truly and really concerned only for her health, then divorcing her might well result in her wanting to be thinner for herself when she is looking for new companionship.

Go for it.

I was obese, morbidly so.

My doctor was as useless as a chocolate teapot.

What helped me was my wife's guidance and goading, sensible eating and a hell of a lot of walking. About 8 to 12 miles a day on average.

The Celebrity Slim diet has also been a great help.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/27/2015 06:46PM by matt.

I was stuck in a wretched marriage and my husband refused to discuss divorce (he liked my salary.) I hated my job.

The only escapes I had were eating, reading, and sleep.

Once I got the courage to dump the spouse, I had the time and energy to walk, swim, and the self-discipline to eat less. And that wasn't really a problem. I did my own shopping, so I didn't buy fattening stuff.

The weight dropped off over a reasonable period of time, and when it got so one set of clothes hung on me, I had an excuse to go shopping for another. It was like shedding multiple chrysalises. And I paid more attention to hair and skin care. It began to matter to me how I looked. I hadn't cared, before.

And guys began paying attention. At first, I felt very cynical. After all, wasn't I the same person on the inside as I had been before? Well, no, I wasn't. I was far less depressed and a lot more outgoing. And I had moved to a new community where people hadn't known my former fat self. So, it DID make a difference.

I made it a policy just to eat when I was truly hungry, and not just bored, and to stop the second I'd had enough. It didn't matter what I ate. This policy seemed to work.

Often a healthy diet seems like a starvation diet to someone who is not used to eating healthfully. Truth is, we really don't need much food to achieve and maintain a healthy body composition and weight.

I lost a lot of weight a few years ago. If you have a sedentary job, just eat half of the calories per day that are recommended for your age and sex. Cut out nearly all deserts that have sugar in them, and write down everything you eat by calorie count to give you confidence that you're eating enough nourishment. Drink more water every time you get hungry. You can use keto sticks from the drug store to measure on any given day, whether you've burned fat or not that same day. Learn to create a state in your body called ketosis and stay in that state as long and often as possible while losing weight. Don't try this though if you're diabetic. Keto acidosis (which is different from ketosis) can be deadly. But if you're not diabetic you don't have to worry about that. You don't even need to exercise for this to work. After a while the hunger pains go away and you can maintain this for months without discomort. After you've lost enough weight to be able to run again, those keto sticks will turn dark purple if you add a twenty-minute run to your daily routine while maintaining the diet.

She has to decide to help herself. There isn't a lot you can do. Bugging her may make it much worse. I still need to lose weight. I gained a lot when I found out my husband was cheating and then when he left. Gradually over time, I've lost probably 70 pounds. I don't diet. I should walk more than I do. I go in spurts.

What it took is caring about myself. I didn't give a damn about myself for a long time. The first thing that helped was my old boyfriend coming back into my life, but that was just the beginning. Now it is more about the fact I care about myself. Like catnip said above, I started taking care of myself again because I wanted to.

It has to come from within is how I see it. She does sound depressed. She is escaping from her life.

Most women I know are unhappy with their husbands. There was probably a time when she tried to impress you, but as catnip said, she probably wants to divorce. Why put out any effort for you?

There is always a better guy out there.