I moved into the ward with four children. I could never have people over unless it was a couple. I could never have the missionaries either, because I'm the dreaded single head of household mom.

Yet my son(s) as Priesthood holders are technically out ranking me because they hold the priesthood.

My son is now over 21, an adult, a Melchisdek Priesthood holder, yet he can't fill in as the appropriate adult male in my home so I could have the missionaries over to the house! I'm still a danger according to Mormon think!

So I'm never to have any Mormons over except 'couples' unless I was married and Husband was home because Husband was an adult?
Yet my Adult worthy priesthood holder son could not qualify as 'adult'?
Yet my son out ranks me in my home by virtue of Priesthood alone???

Help mormon think! I'm so glad it is a non issue since I'm out of the church..... but it made me wonder when I was active.

Any exceptions to these goofy rules? If I had a big house or invited other gfs over could I have had the 'honor' of feeding the missionaries???

Your son is over 21...why is he still at home????

Let's see, being a roommate and renting a place to live, Food, transportation, utilities etc..... cheaper to PAY RENT and utilities at home and go to school and work than balance all of that away from home.
Besides, he generously helped out with child care of an Aspergers Autism high need Kid while I struggled to work enough with out child support to make ends meet.(You can't find child care for autistic kids for any price! No matter how much your income is!!!)

So I am quite bitter about hearing how women are such exploiters when my reality is it is hard to find work to support my self and the children my ex husbands left me alone with to raise.

Yeah, and quite technically, it is NO BODIES business why my kid is not out of the house. He has his own social life, he saves every dime and eventually will go... I'm just soooo glad I'm not spending $$$$ every week shuttling my family back and forth to the church building for numerous meetings! YMs, YWs, Scouts, and RS and SS and Sacrament meetings and firesides and homemaking! I went through a lot of gasoline when our family was active! And that gas money did not include tithing!!!!!!! (now I'd probably want to keep all my gas receipts and deduct them from my tithing!)
Just found it peculiar how I was treated after I was a head of household woman, even though I had a current TR which the church teaches means so much in your standing in the church.

The TR does NOT give you the standing the church teaches if you don't have the accompanying props: proper spouse, incomes, house, children etc.

I wasn't intending that to come across as judgmental, sorry if it did. I don't know YOUR situation and I was genuinely asking. I stayed at home until I was 20 for financial reasons and benefited greatly. However, right before I turned 20 I was ready to get the heck out of dodge, financial situation be darned.

@ your question - your son should be considered "adult" enough that him being there trumps any stupid rules about mishie's coming over. Why do you want them to come over anyway?

I know you meant no criticism. You were just curious. I just have a son who is saving up to move north to a large city five hours away.
I think when his swordmaster moves there he will not be far behind. He's been thinking of moving.
Problem is, he hasn't quite decided the direction he wants to move in his education.
When he does; look out! He'll move quickly when he does.

He's always been the one to take a long time contemplating something, then just up and doing it all at once one day. He likes to lay out the foundations and the road bed before he drives on.

Thank you. I was just musing on my former days as a Mormon and found it funny that I couldn't have the missies over.

I don't have them over at all now.
On the very RARE occasion they drop by,
I educate them by asking embarrassing questions
Like: How come when the WHOLE world knows BY had more than one wife and preached, taught and breathed plural marriage all his days the TSCC only mentions his first wife in the official lesson manual??? And I've been told over the pulpit we are not to leave out facts because that is a form of lying!!!!??????? Why would Gods TRUE Church LIE???? What has GODS TRUE church got to hide or be ashamed of???? Why lie and cover up plural marriage?????

And Why does Jesus need a mall????

etc.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a twenty-something living at home, especially with this current economy and one who is willing to be helpful and cooperative. Sometimes it is a matter of survival for several parties. Who wrote the rules?

Wow! I had no idea that was a rule. Why are the mishies allowed in my house? I'm not just single and female, but also a big gay heathen. Who knows what sorts of impurities could be picked up in there. Or are they protecting YOU, the innocent(yet looked down upon) single Mormon woman. From... Their missionaries? Who are supposed to be paradigms of chastity and virtue? I'm so very confused.

you know it seems, the "dreaded single woman" would be considered an outcast in church, but, while investigating, there was only myself(50, single and no kids)(widowed, actually) and one other person investigating and she is a s/f as well. app. late 20's or early 30's. If the "single, childless female" is such an outcast w/church then why does it seem as if the only two people who were investigating @ said time was "single female w/no children" Not certain if she got dunked or not. I quit attending.

Whenever the missionaries were to come over for dinner, I had to be home (Im 19 years old) in order for them to come inside with my mom and the rest of my siblings. My dad was at work, and I needed to be home. So, it seems to be different for each mission.

my wife says the mishies came by a while back while I wasn't there and hung out for a couple hours. My wife couldn't get rid of them.

Just think it is nobody's business why your kid's 21 and still at home, and there is no need to justify it. You know you child, they do not.
Besides, there are plenty of cultures that the kids stay at home, for example, Brasil is one. Guess what people? In Brasil when you buy a property you do not get a mortgage, you pay by stages of completion. You put a large payment, they build the bones of the house, then more payment, they fill it in, then more payment, they do the finishing. But the time the thing is built, it is paid for. So 18 year old kids are not automatically kicked out of the house because they are all of a sudden an adult. Children stay at home until they are done University or College, and sometimes until they marry.
My take is this: if you are not supporting them or contributed to their upbringing then you have no say. Beside the OP was not complaining that she has a 21 year old she can't get to move out.

As for the OP questions, when my mom was single after the divorce of my parents, missionaries certainly came over as long as my brother (who was only 14 at the time) was present. I guess all that was required was a 'manly' presence. I agree that this rule seems to depend on what area you are.

Here in MS, in order to come in house(i live alone)they'd have chaperone from church or we'd have to sit on balcony.

I am also a single woman....yet the missionaries (2 young boys to my way of thinking) used to come over all the time to preach to me.

If you are left alone, perhaps you should count your blessings! I would give anything to be left alone.

Hurray! There are far fewer Mormons allowed to visit you.

Yeah, it's up to local leadership interpretation of the rules. When I was a missionary I wasn't so faithful in following the single sister rule, especially when in some areas we'd have FHE with several older single sisters.

At the time, I believe the rule was if there was a 12 year old boy or older it would be OK.

Eldermalin, what is the sister rule and what does FHE stand for??

I think it's awesome that your son helps out. I moved back in w/parents @ a MUCH older age than 21(try double) My husband of 24 yrs. had passed suddenly and 5 months later our house had sold. I was completely debt free and I guess that's a good thing,(now I know it is b/c I do live on my own and been laid off for 14 mos.) so it seemed I needed family so I did move back in w/them temporarily. And as far as status in church i was w/in a hair of becoming a mormon committed and cancelled baptism twice(presbyterian, by faith)I'm 49, and even in life, it's a rarety to be my age and never to have had children.(don't meeet too many people of the same status) In the lds faith it's even more of a rarety. I know from what I've observed I'd probably been looked down upon b/c here a 50 yr. old female, OMG, no husband, no children. OMG.

I see no issue with a 21 year old still living at home. My TBM family was so puritanical that they kicked you to the curb at 18! Its a known fact that people are healthier in a community situation where family members help each other out.

Re your posting, sounds like you don't believe so maybe quit? Then you won't have to deal with this sort of thing.