I want and plan on doing it tomorrow as I plan on outing my belief of TSCC by the end of the month.

Currently I'm a Sunday School teacher to the 14-18 year olds (yeah the other teacher left the church and they slammed me with both classes kinda ironic)l I told the bishop months ago it was too much for me to teach both classes day in and day out. It took them months to call another teacher that we could swap teaching every other Sunday.

I have had my lessons very bland, if I can teach and not reference the BOM at all I do it, otherwise I just make up my own lesson that day.

However, I want to ask to be released before I out my feelings on the church to my wife at the end of the month. I don't plan on doing it any sooner and I know the bishop will likely push me for more info as to why.

Anyone else done this, and if so how did you go about it? Any advice on how to go about this? How to respond to the bishop if he pushes me for more info? Gotta admit when it comes to the church I'm not good with conflict.

Don't explain, don't complain.
the End

We moved and I specifically asked not to be given a calling.

Oh if it be so easy for me. Our lease is up next month but we are renewing. Don't feel like moving after we just did last year.

You are in a voluntary position. Do not "ask" to be released. Tell bishop you cannot do it anymore, turn in your lesson materials and be done. What he has to do to replace you is his problem, not yours. I guess I am just so done with anything mormon that this does not seem like a dilemma.

There is NO need to explain why you can't do it any longer.

+1

Thank goodness there is no lesson materials. It's this correlated crap and all the lesson "blueprints" are online.

Just resign your calling. It's your choice and it doesn't require an explanation. If one is requested, just reply that the reasons are personal, and won't be explained. Use absolute language, i.e. "I will not go into an explanation", vs. " I don't want to, or I would rather not". If a negotiation is attempted, don't participate. Again use absolute language: "No, I will not teach class anymore"

I agree. Pick a phrase which is comfortable and seems natural to you. Every time the bishop asks a question or trys to pressure you, repeat the phrase in a firm but emotionless tone - exactly the same way for as many times as it takes. Eventually, the bishop will say something like, "So what you are saying is that you will not be teaching anymore?" And all you say is "yes" and walk off.

Hello goodeye!

I didn't ask to be released before outing my disbelief, however, I was released from Sunday Nursery, and the actions surrounding that release caused me to do my research, and....

The next year I was told that I had been called to be the RS pianist. After a round of phone calls, I refused the calling and embarrassed the above responsible counselor (I had NOT accepted the calling, and would not accept the calling, and would not be there).

BTW, I had been 'inactive' by the time the calling came. I had discovered, through lds<dot>org the lies, the problems - nope, not from some anti-site, like this. But, finding those lies led me here!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/05/2015 03:22PM by cristib.

Ditto, I found stuff through the church's own materials that led me here.

The issue for me is I want to be out of this calling with a couple weeks before I out my disbelief in TSCC to my wife. For me it'll be one less thing to worry about.

Accidentally replied to my own reply please ignore.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/05/2015 07:21PM by goodeye.

Crap I did it again!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/05/2015 07:21PM by goodeye.

No need to explain or defend if asked why say "It's simply impossible."

They don't own you, and you don't owe them a thing.

Some words of wisdom from Paul Simon ...

You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

1. I ended up teaching the 12 - 18 year olds.....two teachers had bailed. I went to the bishop and resigned all three classes. I then told him that I would never teach Primary, teenagers, or classes where it seemed likely that the students did not want to be there....teacher development, seminary, etc.

2. Different ward, I was called onto the Activity Committee, when it still existed. At the time of the calling, I told them that I would attend a few meetings. If it was not my cup of tea, I would resign. It only took one meeting....I told the bishop that I had absolutely no interest in attending the activities that we were planning, so it made no sense to be on the committee.

3. Home teaching...haven't done it in 25 years. They don't even assign me anymore. They tried calling me to be a HT supervisor. "Why would I be a supervisor for an uninspired program, a complete waste of time, a program where even bishoprics and HC do not do any visiting."

4. Scout committee chairman.....AS IF. On the other hand, I gave them a list of merit badges that I would be a counselor for. Never got a call from any of the kids.

5. I will occasionally teach the HP Group. HOWEVER, at the beginning of this year, I told them not to even call me to teach a lesson this year....I would be da*ned before I would teach a lesson about ETB. And I told them that.

I can't imagine why no one calls me to any callings anymore.....rofl.

Why don't I resign? Family concerns. I still attend (somewhat), but to keep the peace. My only promise is to try to keep my mouth shut in classes when the teachers stray too far from the real doctrine or history. I about tore my throat out the week that the rock-in-the-hat hit the news, but did not hit the sunday classes.

goodeye Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Currently I'm a Sunday School teacher to the 14-18
> year olds...

That was the calling they wanted to give me, about 3 months after coming home from my mission. When the bishop asked, I had a sort of epiphany (I'd already gone mostly inactive) -- and realized I couldn't stand there and lie to kids, pretending to believe this stuff. So I refused, told him I was leaving the church, and walked out -- never to return.

That was 35 years ago :)

I did. It took me a year to extricate myself after deciding I was done with it all. Along the way, I stopped going to church and went to yoga class instead, resigned from 3 callings, and refused a 4th.

The first was a stake calling. I resigned to the stake prez by email. I did not ask to be released, I told him that I was resigning. I did not respond to his follow up email asking if everything was okay.

I resigned from callings 2 and 3 in the same way, but to the bishop, both within a couple of weeks apart.

When I refused a 4th, I said I was not able to take on a calling at the time. Bishop literally cried and said he needed my help. I remained steadfast. Gawd!

All this was followed by ridiculous love bombing, so I formally resigned from the morg. Been free ever since. Feels good even to write this!

Toward the end of my activity I was in the nursery and doing the bulletin. The first thing I did that was a refusal was turning down giving a talk. The branch counselor handed me a slip of paper with a topic on it, and I handed it back to him and said, "I don't do talks," and walked away. Loved the look on his face.

Before I left, I resigned from the nursery and told them I wasn't coming back and they had to give somebody else the bulletin job. That was that. Nobody ever came calling, strangely enough. My ex and my kids were still going but I just stopped. I guess they knew I wouldn't go back no matter what.

Thanks all for your advice and encouragement.

The good thing is my wife already knows I've been frustrated and no longer want to teach the class. I've mentioned multiple times I'm going to tell the Bishop I want to be released.

My worry is out bishop is as TBM and in the end a @$$hole of a person. He is nice I guess but his comments and things he says always seemed to be laced with a "Im the bishop I know more and because I'm a bishop I'm more righteous" that kind of mentality. Because of that I'm just worried he'll essentially force my hand in talking to my wife about all this sooner rather than later as I am planning.

Thanks again all for the advice and words of encouragement.

Just keep telling him that both you and ghawd are comfortable with your decision, and that if he sincerely prays, with real intent and an open heart, he'll understand why it has to be this way.

Try to look serene...

Just pull the Band-Aid off in one swift move. Then you're done.

I was a primary teacher when I quit. I just simply stopped going. Did not call anyone, did not resign, as I had never signed up to teach. I just stopped. It was their problem not mine. They got along just fine before me and just fine after me. Not my problem.

I only told my wife. She exploded as expected and we divorced 4 years later all because of that damn church. So telling your wife now or in a month is not going to make a difference.

Try to do it by email if you can, or leave a brief phone message. You don't even have to return the materials to the bishop.

They will try to corner you and defeat every explanation or reason you give, so it's better to avoid the conversation if at all possible. They will also try to use fear, obligation, and guilt on you. Don't engage.

If somebody does confront you, be as vague as possible, use the broken record tactic as explained above, smile, shake hands, and leave.

Prepare for gossip, love-bombing, and for people to try to get to you through your spouse.

I'm not even outing myself yet (though a certain situation unfortunately may force my hand tonight) I just plan on telling the bishop or preferably one of his counsellors that I want releases and have some personal reasons why that I don't feel I need to discuss with them at this time and hopefully leave it at that.

I quit my last home teaching gig after 6 months. Does that qualify?

RB

I like email. That's what I did the week before I left. I simply said, "I resign my calling effectively immediately." I gave no explanation. The Bishop never came over to speak to me. He never tried to save the one that left the ninety and nine.

Remember in Mormonism, your personal decision trumps anything a higher-up priesthood leader divines with his magical rhetoric. They cannot argue with your own decision. You might say something like,

. . . "Bishop, I resign my calling. Effective immediately. I know by what has been revealed to me [which is really everything you've learned about TSCC being a fraud] is that this is the right decision for me. This is a personal decision. It is not open for discussion. Please do not discuss it with me or my wife. You do not have my permission."

You can do it this week. The Bishop will have to find a substitute for next Sunday. After all, that is what church leaders do -- they reassign, move around, and fill the holes in their roster. All they care about is that their little branch/ward in the middle of the world-wide church is functioning from week to week. They depend on free volunteer service to make them look good to their flock, peers and superiors.

Yeah except it'll just force the new teacher to be stuck week after week. They told me for 3 months they were calling another teacher. It took 3 months to do that.

Inform, do not ask. Make it clear you will not be there (drive off the lot, then pick your wife up afterwards). He sounds like the type to pull the guilt card, "Just one more time" turns into six...

Practice what you will say. You are the expert on your own life. If he contacts your wife, make it clear you will contact his leaders for interfering in your home/marriage. Tell your wife you have a creepy feeling about the guy/request she steer clear of him.

Be assertive. He is accustomed to everyone obeying his every whim/command.

Be very loving, attentive, helpful and protective of your wife and home. Be THE strong man in her life and eclipse anyone who would dare interfere in your marriage. Help make her feel secure and that you aren't going anywhere. You are protecting her from opportunists and spiritual extortion from those in a church founded on lies. You are the hero. Where a Superman T under your shirt if it helps!

Go forth and conquer! You've got truth and integrity on your side.

Wear not where. Insomnia spelling.

Tsk tsk... Yeah, and with the salary and benefits that come with the position, it could be six months, and maybe that will help get another person out.

You got nothing, you owe nothing.

I've done this. Just keep it light and simple if you don't want to out yourself. Be specific, firm, but friendly.

Could email saying...

Dear Bishop,

For personal reasons, Sept. 13th will be the last day I will be able to perform my calling as a Sunday school teacher. Thank you for all you do for the ward.

Goodeye

If he responds just keep saying the same thing over and over. It's personal, nothing is wrong, you don't want to talk about it, but everything is fine/great with you otherwise. Don't worry about if they "release" you on the Sunday you said or not. You've told him when the last day is and it is his responsibility to fill that duty. If Sunday School president (or anyone else) tries to talk to you about it, just say I already told the Bishop I'm unavailable to teach after X date.

Good luck! Just my 2 cents. Do what works for you.

And don't feel guilty if they don't fill the calling right away. It's their imaginary responsibility. Not yours. They can always ask a parent of one of the kids to do it. They are dragging their feet on purpose.

I taught the youth for years. Primary all the way up to 18 yr olds. Some of them I taught in both primary and as teenagers.

I am proud to report most of them are out...

Subversion at its best :)

I used the nice vague "personal, medical and mental health reasons". Being pregnant didn't hurt haha. They tried to rope me back into an easier calling like nursery but I wrote them an email back telling them I felt like they hadn't listened and to honor my request.

I simply refused to accept any callings for quite awhile before leaving officially. That really blew a few minds. One particular bishop nearly burst a blood vessel.