Posted by:
Book of Mordor
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Date: October 02, 2015 08:36PM
My choices to fill up the Q12 have been the same since January. At the time, there were no open seats, so the picks were hypothetical. Their order was as follows:
1. Clayton. The asshat behind Prop 8 and Kate Kelly. Never mind that both were fiascoes – the church doesn't care. He's shown he'll do whatever he's told and whatever it takes, no matter how low. He'll make a great Dark One.
2. Kim Clark. His move from HBS dean to BYU-I prez destroyed his career and credibility among his academic peers. A sacrifice like that, I thought, would surely make him a pustule. But since then he's been called to the 70, and I doubt they'd promote him so quickly. Also, I read (here, I think) that he's sick, and TSCC can't have a short-timer in the Q12. He's dropped in the rankings; still, he was such a good little fascist in Rexburg that I can't totally dismiss him.
3. Robbins. His April 2004 GC address on tithing certified him as a first-class SOB. Then he delivered another GC address in October 2014 where he effectively and effusively kissed BKP's wrinkled ass. He's a proven yes-man and so will be rewarded.
Since then, Rasband has increased in visibility, and seems to have an inside track to be named. Callister has been in the mix for a while, and with three slots opening, has a decent chance. I don't think the church is quite ready to name a non-white; rather, they'll wait until Monson and/or Hales goes, to ensure that the new guy is low enough in the pecking order to prevent him from ever rising, like pond scum, to the top. Costa is as good a choice as any, since he's an established lickspittle in his own right.
The final, official pre-GC Pine Box Derby ranking stands at:
1. Clayton
2. Robbins
3. Rasband
4. Callister
5. Clark
6. Costa
Now, some comments about a few who will NEVER be added to the Q12, despite them being popular picks on RFM.
Baby Packer: The Q12 will soon be sweeping BKP's memory under the carpet. They have no desire to remind the world of such a disliked public church figure. Hinckley as living profit couldn't get Baby Hinckley into the Q12; a dead BKP can't get Baby Packer in either.
Willardmitt: I don't get the weird fixation on him. He gets named by someone, every time, apparently for no other reason than he's Very Rich and Famous. This is an easy pick – too easy. But it doesn't make sense. If he did sit up in the comfy chairs, Mormons everywhere would be regularly reminded of one of their most disappointing losses ever. Each time they saw him, they'd think about what might have been. TSCC doesn't want that kind of constant bitter reminder, especially at the self-congratulatory GCs.
Besides, why would Willardmitt even want the spot? He doesn't need the reported million that new Q12s get, and most likely has already had his 2nd anointing. He already receives enough TBM praise to feed his ego (2012 wasn't HIS fault, you see). An apostleship would handcuff his lifestyle. Today, he answers to no one, but a junior Q12 has to jump on command. What about his La Jolla mansion, the one with the elevators for his cars? TSCC prefers its leaders' luxury to fly under the radar so as not to attract attention, and this level of conspicuous opulence might be embarrassing. Last but not least, if Willardmitt were called into the Q12, Ann would have to wear garments again, and I doubt that would go over well. Nope – if a new calling's in the works, it will be as a "special ambassador" or something, like David Kennedy in the 1970s.
Huntsman: Seriously? From all actions and appearances, Huntsman's a NOM. He's definitely not church broke. He has a very public apostate daughter, and he (along with Willardmitt) is on the record as accepting evolution.
Steve Young: Doesn't seem to be all that churchy, or anywhere near TBM. As I said, just being rich & famous doesn't cut it. Donny Osmond is arguably more famous, and way more church broke.
But I will make a prediction about a famous Mormon. Within 1-2 years, Dale Murphy will be named as a GA, into the 1Q70 or 2Q70. Dale's fully churched-up, having been a MP. And as a convert, once he's in the 70 he'll stay there for the rest of his life, swapping locker room stories with Gifford Nielsen.