Has anyone heard of bishops asking people to resign because they are gay or face a disciplinary meeting? My wife was visited this evening and given an ultimatum to resign, divorce me, or face a disciplinary meeting. She still believes to some extent and was really upset.

Why the ultimatum? Because you don't believe?

If I were her, I would write to the area presidency. That is ridiculous.

Please tell me she kicked'em out of the house.
What was their reason for giving her an ultimatum like this???

She was asked to resign because she is gay married.

Oh, ok, that makes more sense

In other words, she is in open opposition, or rebellion, to LDS teaching, thus in a state of apostasy.

Like it or not, a religious institution does have a right to their dogmas, and their teachings.

I've heard of this happening. I don't think it's all that uncommon. The idea that divorce will save her membership is appalling and disgusting. It's the church sticking it's nose where it has no business whatsoever. They claim to be all about family. Situations like this prove that's a lie.

It's spiritual blackmail

(edited to add after Sillek's explanation)

She is in a gay marriage, which is against LDS teachings. Like it or not, religious institutions to have a right to their doctrines.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/09/2016 11:58PM by angela.

Oh my!....what big brass balls they have....commanding you to get divorced. Are there any media outlets in your area that are anti-Mormon? I bet an investigative reporter would love to sink their teeth into that!!

RB

So unfeeling, uncaring, and inhuman. So wrong that your wife was made to feel this way over something that she connects with. I hope that this incident helps her to see the church/cult for what it is and takes her to new places to find a spiritual home, whatever that is.

Agreed. She needs to find another spiritual home since Mormonism rejects her way of life.

he was going ahead with the process unless I called if off.

Nope, at that time I'd never heard of anyone actually being able to resign.

He was just angry because I had never attended for 20 years and rebuffed anyone who phoned or came to my door.

I believe that the new policy is that if you are in a gay marriage, and you are an LDS church member, the church does consider you to be in apostasy. That policy came out at the same time as the policy that children of gay marriages will not be allowed to be baptized until they are 18 and until they denounce their parents' marriage (sad but true.)

I remember hearing of one case where the bishop was tolerant of a married gay couple in his ward, but the pressure to excommunicate came from above.

I would encourage your wife to find a church that is accepting of gay people and gay marriages. I have a gay couple who are friends and they are members of a church community that has accepted them whole-heartedly. Or, have your wife investigate the Community of Christ, formerly known as the RLDS. It is another branch of Mormonism that is accepting of gay people.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/10/2016 05:39AM by summer.

Minor correction: the RLDS now call themselves "The Community of Christ."

http://www.cofchrist.org/


: )

Thanks, I fixed it.

She wasn't asked to resign. She was told to resign, or be excommunicated. Seems like a reasonable bit of advice, as opposed to just excommunicating her.

It of course starkly represents the hypocrisy of this so-called family church. She should throw a liberation party and invite the ward.

They gave her the option of divorcing to stay in the church. This is religious malpractice. No one has the right to tell you that you must get divorced or get kicked out.

Just like individual Americans have the right of association, or non-association, with any given group, any given group has the right to decide to associate with you....or not.

It does go both ways.

They are counseling and advocating divorce in this situation is malpractice. Trust me, they'd fold in a minute rather than face this court case.

They can ex the woman, but they have no business attacking someone's marriage.

Malpractice? Explain what you mean and how you would argue that in a court of law???

They have no business demanding your wife divorce you. They are meddling in your personal business and I would send them a message by filing a lawsuit. I guarantee you they do not want that going to court.

They can deny membership to anyone for any reason. Cite one single US court case in the last 150 years that is a counterexample.

This topic had me curious so I did a bit of looking.

http://www.firstamendmentcenter.org/madison/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/vol1ch3.pdf

Im no lawyer so can't fully navigate what this link saying, but there is something that is viewed as "Power of the Gate"

But what I did take away from reading it is 1)it would be a futile effort to sue, especially when expulsion is due to religious doctrine. Religious institutions are very protected when it comes to their doctrines. 2) I get the impressions since the LDS church IS incorportated, also protects them

Sorry, Axeldc, but it wouldn't go anywhere.

In Canada, the Methodists, the Presbyterians, the Evangelical United Brethren Church and the Congregational Union of Ontario and Quebec joined together to create the largest Protestant denomination in Canada, called The United Church of Canada.

I know an openly gay ordained Minister in the United Church. I'm not sure if she and her partner are married, or not. But she gets to lead a normal, happy life, in a church which is old-traditional Protestant.

I wish they had a church like that in the States.

Unfortunately, what the others are saying is true. Your wife now falls under the category of Apostate in the Mormon Church. They recently made it absolutely clear that same-sex marriage would not be tolerated in their organization. So someone living in such a relationship is in open opposition to the Church, in their eyes.

I'd find some of the news outlets which recently reported the Church's stance, and were appalled by it, and let them know. She might as well go out with a bang.

Most Canadian churches parallel those in the US. When I lived in Montréal, I often attend the UU congregation in Westmount.

Here are a few gay friendly churches in the US:

UU
Community of Christ (former RLDS)
Disciples of Christ
All Reform Jewish synagogues and most Conservative ones
Lutherans (not Missouri synod)

The list is pretty long:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT-affirming_Christian_denominations#North_America

United Church of Christ ran ads a decade ago inviting gays to attend.

https://youtu.be/mW6X6l5XGsw

In addition, the USGA is 100% behind gay married couples playing golf together as often as they would like to. The LPGA is still a bit in denial though. They still haven't been able to quite embrace the idea of a player and her girl caddie hugging and kissing after winning a tournament. But they're getting there!

I'm sorry this abusive, controlling, hateful church has set its self-righteous sights on her.

Oh, that's good. I'm glad there are such churches in the States too. Maybe she would be comfortable in the Community of Christ, because it has Mormon roots. Good on them for getting rid of Mormon prejudices.

The church needs an enemy to fear.

Gaydom is one of the churches stated enemies.

The church gets protection money to protect members from those enemies.

Members who don't toe the line generally aren't afraid and therefore also don't tend to pay much protection money.

It always, always, always boils down to the money and keeping the base continually afraid in order to get that money.

If only you could get her to see that clearly. It’s not her.

My mother was given a similar ultimatum more than 40 years ago. Only without the "resign" part (divorce your inactive husband, or face disciplinary action and never make it to the CK).
She fell for it, and kicked dad out, and divorced him.
His "big sin?" Drinking beer, and not going to church.

Family-friendly church my ass.

Oh yes. Anyone who is gay and married is either told to resign, or they will do it for them.

Typical forcing control and interfering in someone's personal life.