In the mid-1960s I lived with an LDS foster family. The guy, who was the football coach in one of the high schools, was also the seminary teacher for a couple of years. Although he was a bully, relentlessly bullying me and many other boys who didn't fit his particular mold of what constituted a masculine young man (rule number 1., Must play football), he was a very enthusiastic seminary teacher. He spent an entire evening making a big cardboard display of all the stupid "Nephite coins," complete with his little renditions of prominent Nephite guys stamped on the coins. He followed up with play-acting, being in a Nephite market and buying produce with Nephite coins. I'm mortified even recalling the memory of it.

(Nephite coins are one of the stupidest things put forth in the BoM story. A German friend of mine who lives in central Germany, way out on the periphery of Roman development, has found 2 Roman coins in his own garden. Where are the Nephite coins?)

Well I'd love to have a shum that I could make into a talisman .

you laugh, but there are shims. I've used shims in my kitchen.

Oh gimme a break. That's an easy one.

God sucked them all back into heaven with the golden plates and the steel swords and the bones of the million warriors and the breastplates and the chariots and....

TO TEST YOUR FAITH!

You fail - off to Outer Darkness with ya.

Mormon God is always fucking with his own people, isn't he? He's hilarious.

He should have the severed head of Laban stamped on one of the coins.

Well ya know if Mormon archaeologists could just get their hands on Horny Joes holy seer stone maybe they would have a better chance of finding those elusive Nephite coins.

I have a magic stick that works according to faith. I've found it works best in the hands of kids under age 8 because they are pure in heart and have lots of faith.

It was fashioned after the manner of things I heard after reading about Julie Rowe and her accomplishments. I think I can use it to find B of M artifacts, and I'm currently seeing if it can also be used to locate the lost Rhodes Gold Mine.

I am talking to one possible interested investor who has ancestry that includes Martin Harris. He seems to be a really smart guy.

The Nephite coins had heads on both sides, no tails.

Did they have stiff necks too?

Yes, from flipping their heads so much