I don't think there is anything LESS miraculous than Mormon missionary miracles.

Being invited inside for a drink of water when it's hot outside... IT'S A MIRACLE!

Jethro finally showed up to church... IT'S A MIRACLE!

Betsy agrees to be baptized AND FOLLOWS THROUGH... IT'S A MIRACLE!

What a lame Mormon God. Read the new testament if you want to know what a miracle is people!

What "miracles" have you heard of lately?

I've gone through the lessons three times, never read the book of Mormon, never been converted. Isn't that a miracle?

No. That's a blessing!

One of the few people who joined the Church that I taught lived about one block from our Missionary apartment, we walked past his street many times but never knocked on his door because the tracting book said Hookers lived there, he referred himself to the Church after finding a Book of Mormon, and the Bishop sent us over to look for this guy. He joined the Church, moved to SLC and married a Mormon. Never seen again.

It'll be a miracle if anyone buys "missionaryhelper.com" for $3295.

thanx for the laugh.
I guess that cybersquatter thinks he will become rich selling those domain names.

I think missionaries these days have so little success that anything other than outright rejection feels like a miracle. My nephew only had a couple of baptisms on his mission, one at the beginning and one at the end with a whole lot of nothing in between. I can see how he probably felt like both those baptisms were miracles.

BINGO. That IS what's happening.

Anything that doesn't happen on a daily basis is a miracle.

"I have been blessed with so many miracles!" has surely become a Mormon Meme. Could some of its popularity start from indoctrination of the mishis in the MTC? As in:

Missionaries, you are all so blessed. It is a miracle for each one of you to be a missionary in this amazing day and age (this time the cult will not sing their opposite song of how the world is going to hell in a handbasket), and we just KNOW that you will be the kind of missionary that will see so very many miracles as you work for the Lord.

Know with every fiber of your being that you should not be doing anything else with these two years but serving a mission. You are indeed a miracle who is doing what is right and so righteous,and we know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that everyday, if you are diligent and prayerful, miracles will follow you.

Amen and Amen, and get out their and make and find those miracles!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/20/2016 02:26AM by presleynfactsrock.

For missionaries, every day is Festivus . . .

complete with airing of grievances (chewed out by APs) and feats
of strength (walking/biking all over town).

And of course . . . Festivus miracles.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXO7BE0HVdc

I bet for a lot of them not going hungry or having some tropical disease eat out their insides is a miracle.

An ensign article claimed a missionary heard a voice shout his name to avoid being hit by a car. The companion was there and didnt hear anything

a "warning voice" heard by a Catholic proves Catholicism true ... just as the same heard by a Muslim proves Islam true ... just as the same heard by an atheist proves atheism true.

Atheism is true because otherwise ghawd would have told me.

A missionary told the truth when asked if he masturbated.

A miracle!!!