Posted by:
adamisfree2006
(
)
Date: March 21, 2016 03:56PM
Lately I lurk more than I post however, I wanted to share the fact that we just celebrated our 10th anniversary out of the LD$ church.
As some may know, I questioned things in early 2005. I shared with my wife concerns which led to several stressful months as we discussed my unbelief and whether we could remain married like that. By the fall of 2005 my wife decided our marriage meant more then the church and she stopped attending. On Feb. 15, 2006 which also was our 20th wedding anniversary, we (me, DW & all 4 kids ages 12-18) formally resigned from the LD$ church. Our abrupt and non-confrontational exit left many in our ward baffled. We as a family were very active and held important callings. We simply stopped going and then resigned. I refused to meet with the Bishop or Stake Pres. I served in multiple bishoprics so I knew discussing my issues was a waste since they couldn't and wouldn't answer my questions.
So recently we celebrated wedding anniversary #30 and 10 years out. As we have done for every 5th wedding anniversary, we took a big trip. This year was a couple weeks in Phuket Thailand. We enjoyed the great food, cold drinks, warm weather and beautiful beaches. We continue to build great memories together and remain best friends.
So the past ten years have been a mixed bag of results. Our marriage has really not changed much since leaving. We remain in love and enjoy each others company. We laugh at how much we have grown up together and just how crazy the past 30 years have been.
Our children are finding their own in different ways. Our now 28 yr. old daughter always thought she would be married after HS to some returned missionary. We certainly threw her a curveball by leaving. She is very independent and has adjusted to her new life plans. Our youngest daughter was 12 so barely remembers church. She is non-religious and has done great. Our younger son was 14 when we left. He also remembers very little and is doing fine. Our older son was 15 almost 16 when we left. He, like his older sister, was more influenced by the church at that age. It was his social life. He initially struggled after we left with finding non-LD$ friends. As such he struggled off and on with drug use. He is smart and well studied but certainly has not adjusted as well as we envisioned. However, overall our kids are doing well. We are probably no worse off then if we had stayed in the LD$ church.
As I have said many times the past ten years, RfM was a life saver for me. In my darkest moments, as I pondered how and why I couldn't believe like everyone else in my family and ward, I became aware of this site with people who had similar thoughts and concerns. This became the one place I could come and not feel alone. Although I am way beyond "needing" this site, I still enjoy reading about others exits and their stories. I have been fortunate to have met many posters "in real life". I will be forever grateful to Eric and team for creating and maintaining this exmo safe haven.
Most of all, I am so glad I figured it out! I truly have NO regrets and love my life as it is.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far.
Cheers and peace out,
~ Adam